Catering for vegans

As an omnivore I don’t find catering for vegetarian and vegan guests too onerous, but that is probably down to the type of meals I normally cook. They are easy to adapt to a pure vegetable base with non vegetarian/vegan served separately if necessary. I do the same for our Muslim relatives. I don’t do fake meat.

I don’t expect anyone to bring their own food but they often do. I wouldn’t tolerate any discussion on the pros and cons of meat eating at the table. Luckily, it’s never happened.

Vegetarian here in a house of meat eaters. It's super easy to cater for both with small tweaks.
Have 2 pans on the go next to each other for spaghetti bolognaise, chilli, curry, stir fry etc. Just put the meat in one and red lentils in the other and most of the other ingredients are naturally vegan.
Jacket potato with their chilli or baked beans.
Sausage & mash, just whack a few Richmond vegan sausages under the grill.
Roast dinner, Plant pioneers have 2 small nut roasts with a gravy pouch and are cheap.
I honestly think my food is way cheaper than all the meat in my fridge. Don't bother with fake meat & expensive cheeses etc & tell them to bring their prefered milk.

Just stop inviting them to stay, you don't sound as though you even like them.

Depends on how many you cater for at family events but we would often end up doing two pans of whatever we are making so just as easy to do one meat based and one vegan.
Vegan cheese is awful but slowly improving and fake meat is pretty bad and over processed.
The one thing I would do is ask if they wanted milk with tea or coffee could they bring some as there as so many non dairy "milks" - soya, almond, oat etc, and everyone has their own favourite.

I have been a vegetarian for over 40 years now. They shouldn't be relying on you to supply all their food at all.

If they didn't eat what you provided last time, then this time just don't buy the cheese and the milk and the extras.

In fact I'd probably say 'You are more than welcome to stay but to be honest, last time I bought a load of stuff that you didn't eat so it is best if you bring whatever food you want and I'll make plain vegan sauces, we will add our extras and you can add yours - that way we all get what we want. I'll do a curry on X day, and a pasta sauce on Y day and outside of that, we will have our usual cereals/breads for breakfasts and lunches etc'.

Jimmy carr is as funny as dysentery .

It's a Jimmy Carr joke.

I would find out in advance what they would eat and plan food to meet their dietary requirements. As I would for those with medical or religious requirements.

Again, you're disagreeing with something I didn't say.

I know but the point I'm making is that things that people might think are vegan are often not. I'm dairy intolerant so i have to read all the labels. You would be surprised where milk gets!

They only eat vegan food and they are strict about this - they actually try to lecture us when we are eating meat which we find very annoying.

That is out of order to lecture you on what you are eating. For context I don't eat meat. I may not be as strict as your vegan friends but even so I would never ever lecture other people on what they eat. It's my choice to refrain from eating meat. Gosh I'm afraid your friends make my blood boil

Hi friends. When you come down please bring all the vegan versions of your usual food with you... milk, cheese, protein. Happy to get our usual veggies in but not got time to source all vegan varieties of meals. Also please bring a couple of your usual lunch and dinner meals with you.. frozen fine. Me and hubby got limited time to fart about shopping and cooking your food do the research. Thanks. If you see us as a free vegan cafe again this year you will be sorely disappointed and may end up eating dairy and other animal products.

I'm not suggesting those meals are vegan. I'm talking about omnivores who make a song and dance about a vegetarian or vegan meal.

If I had time, I'd gen up on all the negatives of a vegan diet (soy takes loads of water to grow, for example) and then, very sweetly, lecture them
And they would probably be able to tell you how much water it takes to make the jeans you are wearing (one example of many)
Friendship shouldn't be about being twatty to each other.
Clearly op isn't that much into the friendship .
Husband sounds very olf fashion with his implied "meat & two veg" only diet
Talk to your friends, not about them .

I vote YABU. I wouldn’t dream of asking friends to bring their own food- part of being the host is that you cater for your guests based on their requirements. If you don’t want to do that, don’t invite them. (I’d be more annoyed by a guest turning up with their own food- to me that seems very odd.)

It’s not hard to cook for vegans without buying weird processed stuff. Vegetables and pulses are cheap and good for you. Your husband being unable to cope without meat for two days is a bit odd.

None of this is to say you have to do it. You could just not invite them. But if you invite them, you should be willing to cater for them properly.

You don't need to broach anything. Simply send a text to say this is what we are planning for the main meal, could you please bring anything else you may want to eat.
Also your husband is "refusing" to eat anything without meat in it? Has he never had hummus? Ice cream? Onion bhaji? Cauliflower cheese? Of course not. He is refusing to eat something labelled "vegan". So don't label it. Say you are making a vegetable curry, or whatever.

Unless I was really skint, I would be deeply embarrassed at the idea of hosting people but expecting them to bring their own food. It’s good manners for people to bring something like wine/flowers or maybe even take you out for a meal when they stay, but their bad manners wouldn’t induce bad hosting by me. I would, however, tell them not to lecture me about veganism because again, that’s bad manners.

I don't eat fake meat either! It's why I dont stay with people any more. 😀 I will visit for one meal and eat any vegetable or bread or lentil available

You sound nice

Why dont you ask them? My vegan friends always bring a feast. Lovely

It's the people who's diet revolves around meat who are making things difficult

Totally agree. There's a whole range of amazing meals that are veggie / vegan / gluten free / dairy free etc. The only time it becomes hard is when you have a combination of those things, then it's a pain. If you can't bear to eat one meal without meat in it then you're the difficult one.

If they are your friend why can't you just tell you them?

A carton of oat milk isn't going to break the bank, other than that I just wouldn't buy the things they didn't eat last time.

The OP is talking about vegans. Unless it's vegan cheese that cheese and pickle sandwich will have milk in it. If it's from a tin that leek and potato soup will have milk in it

It's always possible for single meal but actually 3 days is more than my family would cope with.

First, as the cook... it's just a lot of extra stress to have to learn am entirely new way of cooking and to not be able to rely on the meat stews / soups / roasts with veggies cooked in meat juice / grilled fish / meat based bakes etc that are our staples. We never make curries, chilies etc and dh wouldn't touch lentils with a barge pole and beans give us all funny tummy. We have a nut allergy and gluten allergy in the family.

Then my DH has an occasional (heavily butter-based) vegetarian stew but other than that, he would leave vegetarian dishes untouched and eat processed meat straight from the packet instead. I try to be mindful of making food as healthy as possible for him as I worry for his health. Getting veg into him only happens if soaked in meat or fish juices.

It's really not as simple as you think.

Our family consists of two meat eaters, two vegetarians and one vegan. The vegan is because of a severe lactose intolerance.
I cook things like enchiladas/ fajitas in two pans, one with fake chicken and one with real.
Roast chicken and a quorn joint, all veg the same but just different gravy.
Doesn't take any longer in reality.