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Original poster

Catering for vegans

370 replies

PieandPotatoes · 03/12/2024 08:45

We have friends who come and stay regularly. One is a vegan. They never bring any food with them. It takes me ages to do the food shopping (checking labels for ingredients). We spend loads on oatmilk, vegan cheese/yoghurt etc and we end up cooking two dishes at mealtimes as my husband refuses to eat anything without meat. I think that they should at least bring some vegan food with them. What do you think?

OP posts:
Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 19:23

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 19:07

@Nolegusta "I'm specifically referring to folk with specific requirements, who are staying with folk who don't have those specific requirements."

Utterly ridiculous. This would only apply if for some reason the hosts could not eat the specific requirements. Which does not apply to vegans. Non vegans can eat vegan food. Probably often do, probably without realising it. Vegans cannot eat non vegan food.

The hosts don't routinely eat vegan meals, the visitors do. The hosts should make some effort to bring at least some if the specific food itens they need with them. This isn't ridiculous, by any stretch.

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 19:21

kiraric · 03/12/2024 19:01

Even then. I don't want people to bring their own groceries to my house. It's weird

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Again, it's not weird.

CallMeBobcat · 03/12/2024 19:19

An attention seeking vegan?
Imagine that.

LigamentBandy · 03/12/2024 19:12

@HamptonPlace there's lots of egg substitutes, depending on what you eating flax, applesauce, aqua faber ( not sure that's the correct spelling!) silken tofu ...

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 19:07

@Nolegusta "I'm specifically referring to folk with specific requirements, who are staying with folk who don't have those specific requirements."

Utterly ridiculous. This would only apply if for some reason the hosts could not eat the specific requirements. Which does not apply to vegans. Non vegans can eat vegan food. Probably often do, probably without realising it. Vegans cannot eat non vegan food.

HamptonPlace · 03/12/2024 19:07

Lentilweaver · 03/12/2024 08:56

I am vegetarian. I sort my own food wherever I go. Usually omelettes or pasta or a sandwich. If I were vegan I would bring my own cheese and milk.

I always thought eggs were non vegan, but maybe a vegan omelette using an egg substitute? Genuinely curious!!

kiraric · 03/12/2024 19:01

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:57

I'm specifically referring to folk with specific requirements, who are staying with folk who don't have those specific requirements.

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Even then. I don't want people to bring their own groceries to my house. It's weird

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:58

CandleStub · 03/12/2024 18:47

I’d be absolutely horrified if someone did this when I was hosting. A good host provides what’s needed- bringing it with you suggests you think they’re not a good host.

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No, it doesn't.

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:57

kiraric · 03/12/2024 18:53

Yes but like a bottle of wine or a box of chocolats, not cooking ingredients.

I would be very non plussed if someone came to visit for the weekend and brought a pint of milk and a loaf of bread

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I'm specifically referring to folk with specific requirements, who are staying with folk who don't have those specific requirements.

kiraric · 03/12/2024 18:53

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:43

It's polite for visitors to also bring something with them.

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Yes but like a bottle of wine or a box of chocolats, not cooking ingredients.

I would be very non plussed if someone came to visit for the weekend and brought a pint of milk and a loaf of bread

CandleStub · 03/12/2024 18:47

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:44

If your dietary requirements are significantly different from the host then of course you bring the items you need.

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I’d be absolutely horrified if someone did this when I was hosting. A good host provides what’s needed- bringing it with you suggests you think they’re not a good host.

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:44

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 17:28

@Nolegusta Oh come on! What giant baby will refuse to eat a single meatless meal?

And who expects their guests to "make an effort"?

If your dietary requirements are significantly different from the host then of course you bring the items you need.

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 18:43

StripyShirt · 03/12/2024 17:28

It's also polite for a host to provide a welcoming environment for visitors.

Not eating meat with every single meal isn't going to turn him into a ladyboy 😃

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It's polite for visitors to also bring something with them.

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 17:28

@Nolegusta Oh come on! What giant baby will refuse to eat a single meatless meal?

And who expects their guests to "make an effort"?

StripyShirt · 03/12/2024 17:28

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 17:25

Nope. Nope. Nope.
The problem is visitors making no effort.

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It's also polite for a host to provide a welcoming environment for visitors.

Not eating meat with every single meal isn't going to turn him into a ladyboy 😃

Nolegusta · 03/12/2024 17:25

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 17:04

Your H is the problem-refusing to eat a meal without meat. What a spoiled brat.

Nope. Nope. Nope.
The problem is visitors making no effort.

StripyShirt · 03/12/2024 17:20

Vegan here!

I'd rather take my own stuff than put anyone out, but most of what you normally eat will be vegan anyway (Bread? Potato? Chips? Rice? Vegetables? Pasta? Baked beans?), so it shouldn't be that difficult to sort something out - we don't all live on fake steak and avocado! Can't you make stuff where meat is a side dish and cooked separately, allowing your husband to have his daily fix?

Failing that, ask them what they'd like or just get a takeaway (Indian food is a good bet for vegans).

Giving their opinions is bad form, if unprompted, and I'd never do that, although if asked I'm happy to talk about it.

McVities Digestives and Rich Tea are vegan, as are most Bourbons. They can live happily on those if needs be 😃

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 17:07

You don't have to buy "vegan food". You can easily make a curry or a chilli for example with just "food"!

All you actually have to buy is some non dairy milk for tea and coffee.

CurlewKate · 03/12/2024 17:04

Your H is the problem-refusing to eat a meal without meat. What a spoiled brat.

caffelattetogo · 03/12/2024 14:59

Do you actually like them? Do you enjoy their visits or staying with them?

Dimpliy · 03/12/2024 13:29

PieandPotatoes · 03/12/2024 12:29

They invite themselves. We used to invite them but now they ask when would be a good weekend for them to come and stay.
I know I put too much pressure on myself to provide decent vegan food. I think I need to just scale it back and stop stressing about it so much.

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Did you post about them recently? Are these the people who used to bring drinks and things but now come empty handed?

Honestly just tell them you'd love to see them but they'll need to book in a hotel and you'll meet them for dinner one evening. And don't pay for their meals!

Therealjudgejudy · 03/12/2024 13:23

They sound really rude. Next time they ask, say you are too busy. Or fine, as long as they bring their own food.

Stop being a doormat.

MajorCarolDanvers · 03/12/2024 13:20

Your DH is being a knob for insisting on meat in every meal

PiggyPigalle · 03/12/2024 13:18

"they actually try to lecture us when we are eating meat which we find very annoying."

No way would they be back in my house, never. How dare they question your habits once in, when they already knew you ate meat.

It doesn't really happen now, but back in the day when vegetarians were rare it did. Questioning whether it was due to religious reasons, why was I wearing leather shoes, carrots scream when cut and so on.

I'd never be dragged into the discussion, but I've never been evangelical either. I'm more concerned with how animals are treated when alive, than dead.

You do you, I'll do me and if you don't like it, clear off home! Is what I'd tell them.

Sportacus17 · 03/12/2024 13:16

Buy a carton of oat milk and leave it at that. Stop doing things you don’t want to do.

Your husband sounds like a big baby though! “Wont eat meals without meat”. Utterly pathetic. Has he never had beans on toast then or a bowl of lentil soup then? Does he refuse to to eat it without a few shavings of bacon?! What does he think will
happen to him without meat in every single meal?