NC for this.
My partner has a female friend. She has a long term partner. DP and her have known each other a couple of years. We have been in a relationship for over a year and are moving in together.
During the first few months of our relationship I didn’t meet her but was fine with them being friends. They went on a pre booked holiday together (twin room). He checked if it was ok for him to go and I was fine with it. No worries at all. Honestly trust him and felt genuinely fine about it.
A couple of months ago I finally met her, along with her partner and few others. She flirted with my DP a lot (ridiculous hair twirling, giggling, dominated his time - if you had looked in without knowing us all you’d assume they were together).
She largely ignored me. Made no effort at all. She responded to my attempts at conversation with her but then shut them down. Her partner and I exchanged a couple of glances as if to say ‘are you ok with this?’.
After that I calmly asked DP if he could only meet her when me and her partner are there as it felt uncomfortable for me the thought of her flirting with him without me there. I trust him not to take it anywhere but it just felt uncomfortable. He was a bit annoyed thinking I didn’t trust him but did agree as he could see my view.
I then found out recently he’d met her for lunch alone. I found out because he’d let something slip and so I asked and he answered. He wouldn’t lie directly but has lied through omission I think.
I was upset. He got cross. He doesn’t think I should make this request of him, he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.
AIBU?