Lunch with another woman

This!!

💯 %

So your partner and his friend are carrying on this mutual ego trip with each other, neither honest platonic friendship or full on relationship, but a half way point that meets their needs to be attractive to each other, yet not a couple, for whatever reason; and are expecting their partners to play along? I'm sorry, but I'd not be entertaining that for a minute.

As far as I can gather, the Strictly ‘curse’ is no more than the statistical likelihood of two people, who may be averagely dissatisfied in their relationships, and not helped by minor celebrity status, flung together solo for 12 hours a day in an intense situation where one is teaching, one is learning, and the activity requires both emotional and extreme physical proximity all the time.

I don't buy what most people are saying.
Most people wouldn't allow a hotel stay in the same room!!
The strictly curse etc.
It's wrong on so many levels.
Would he be happy with you staying with a male colleague in a hotel room together?

Yes she should have made an effort to get to know you BUT it’s a two way thing and requesting they don’t meet without a chaperone/supervisor isn’t going to do anything to ingratiate you with her. Their friendship pre-dates your relationship if they wanted it to be more than friends they’ve had the opportunity.

As for the twin room, perfectly reasonable. If you’re going on a holiday having separate rooms pushes the price up A LOT. My best friend (male) and I went to Florida a few months ago and shared a twin room. We managed not to jump into bed together.

since then his girlfriend, who he’s been with for 6 months has developed an issue with our friendship and now we only get to hang out with her too or at work. It’s irritating, I have no issues hanging out with her sometimes but there are times when I just want to chill with my friend or chat about things that I don’t want to share with a relative stranger. The fact she doesn’t trust me/him/us doesn’t make me
more willing to share personal details with her. She’s a lovely person and I’ve helped him plan amazing treats for the two of them but I do get irritated that in our 40’s we have to be chaperoned to hang out. So I can understand why he might not volunteer the information upfront. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness after that battle it out before and not get permission

You say her behaviour made you feel uncomfortable - and from what you described it seems that was her intention. While it's difficult to lay down the law with another adult you need to explain to your partner how bad her behaviour makes you feel. He's probably loving the attention he's getting from 2 women. He needs to be a real grown up now and make efforts to accommodate and prioritise your needs if you are his partner. If he cannot compromise on this, then he's not much of a partner.

Listen to your gut.
His friend is behaving as your rival. He is loving the pick me dances.

You must feel some mistrust towards him, otherwise you wouldn't have asked him not to meet her 1:1

One partner ca'not tell the other partner who they can and cannot see it 7s controlling behaviour you said he known this friend longer then he known you if u pysh you will end up single so either say ok n leave it or say no n leave relationship

I agree trust your instincts,I think this is a no no,it will end up eating you up,I bet she loved that ignoring you and making you feel uncomfortable.Let her have him he's not worth mind you when it comes to.it she probably won't want him. Most of us have been there and know how you feel it's going to be hard but not as hard as thinking he's with her.I wonder what her boyfriend thinks ?

He shouldn’t have to hide seeing a friend from you.
you’re so wrong in this. “I trust him but..” means that you don’t trust him.
youre clearly wrong for eachother. Set him free

So you trust him. Then what is the issue? People are going to flirt with him, you can't always be there.

Twin room? Really?

You’re not unreasonable for being upset that he kept his lunch date with her from you but you are being unreasonable for asking him to not meet her without you in the first place. This is controlling behaviour and means you don’t trust him.

Her flirty behaviour is disrespectful but personally if my boyfriend of one year asked me not to meet a male friend irrespective of the friendship being two years or less, I would have told him to “kick rocks”. His reaction to you being upset clearly shows he doesn’t want to be controlled or told what he can or can’t do. I hope you guys manage to work things out but you might want to put this one back in the sea OP.

This relationship sounds more than friendship. And now he's trying to hide it doesn't bode well. Is get out now and find someone who would rather spend time with you and not flirty girlfriends.

I'm really irritated by the other woman and also with your partner for not seeing the flirting (or choosing not to..) and for choosing her over your feelings.
Actually, quite rightly it's not healthy to be banning anyone from being friends with someone else but in all honesty, I'd be hoping that my partner made the choice to prioritise our relationship over a silly flirting woman. It's absolutely not ok and this other woman would know this too.

I wonder how it would be if the shoe was on the other foot?
I bet he wouldn't like it one bit.
I'm afraid I'd be running for the hills as no one should be playing second fiddle.

If she was a TRUE friend of your partner,she would be trying to get to know you, supporting the relationship and boosting it rather than focusing on her own ego. Xx

I agree that one grown adult cannot tell another grown adult not to see a friend. However, if that friendship has made you so uncomfortable I would expect your partner to have a little common decency and try to understand your point of view. I'd say he's in danger of losing his relationship with you over this, as she clearly has no boundaries, but this doesn't seem to bother him. I'd be more concerned about that if I was him. Priorities. Friends don't flirt with friends unless they want more than friendship. She obviously has her own agenda and he can't claim ignorance as its already been highlighted to him. I would be worried about his lack of concern for your discomfort. Sounds like a dick!

I think I'd call it a day. If its that uncomfortable how will you feel if it continues and you're living with him. It doesn't sound like it's going to get any better. I wouldn't be prepared to invest any more time with him deceiving you.

I would of ditched him as soon as he hid meeting her for lunch. Like you said it's the hiding it that's not ok and the fact that he knows it makes you uncomfortable means he's not treating you like a priority.

@Lyingisnotok, I’ve been thinking about you and your situation. Where do things stand now?

Move on - he’s made his decision. Why stay when there will be 3 of you in this relationship and she was marking out her territory when you first met. I suspect she does it to all his girlfriends. No one is as great as she is.

It's not really about trust
It's about respect, and also it is alos about trust too as he's lied to you, and broken an agreement

Throw him back, you deserve more

Well to be honest it might be. Him playing oblivious to the flirting and then lying are really not good signs.

Do you go around jumping into bed with other people when you are in a relationship?