Why is my money his money?

Voted because you wrote DH and now see it’s not. Makes a big difference

Hang on, You work full time and do all the household stuff and he’s suggesting YOU get a second job ?

It’s been a year ! He should be applying for anything not waiting for a job he really wants. Is he going to the job centre every week? Looking into additional training ?

Sorry but I’d be getting rid of him.

Would you expect him to do the same for you if the situation was reversed?

As you are not married YANBU. if you were married my answer would be completely different.

He has sat on his arse for a year? Applying for jobs but doing literally nothing in the house?? He’s at home all day, you are at work but coming home and doing the cleaning and making his dinner??? Christ, I would go batshit.

So no op I do not think you should be funding anything at this point. Tell him to get a job, any job to enable him to pay his way. And while he’s at it, he can start taking responsibility for 50% of the housework. Or he’s out.

I think you need to learn the word NO. You need to say 'No I'm not putting notice on that account it's MY emergency fund. You need to get a job, any job. And you need to do 50% of the housework and cooking or maybe more as you're sat at home a lot of the time. I've been understanding but I'm giving you a kick up the bum to get going now. Stop sitting around thinking if you keep doing the same thing you're going to get the same type of job as you used to have. You need a different approach. You need to work your way up again. But you need a job now '
It will cause a huge argument but he will realise he's not moving into cock lodger territory! Some slack can be given as he's paid a bit more than you in the past but without the desperate motivation of I have to get work and not just the desire to get the job I want when I find it, he's getting used to being at home being waited on. My alarm bells went off when you said he had been off work and not contributing to housework or cooking! That's lazy and seriously unattractive.

No, absolutely not.

Tell your DP that he needs to cover his own expenses or move out so you can get another lodger in.
His pride is bigger than his work ethic.

He should be prepared to work at menial tasks to earn money and he should also be cleaning up after himself and doing more around your shared abode.

It's Christmas. He could get a job, if not the right job. Suggest he takes on a seasonal job for this month and January sales. He will feel better once some money is coming in, and his CV will look better without that big gap.

What did the 'presumprion in his voice' 'trigger'? Have you had money issues before? Orca previous partner with money issues?
Currently, you have a choice, albeit a rather bit Hobson's one; either help your DH or don't. Both choices have good and not so good consequences.
Depends on how you see the future with him

Can he not see that the longer he is unemployed the more unattractive to an employer he becomes?

Having a great CV with working at Tesco for example on the end is far better than having a great CV with a year of doing nothing at the end.

Not dismissing Tesco working here BTW, DS started his career there and they were a great employer to someone starting out with little to no experience and gave him bags of experience of working in a fast paced environment and customer service skills.

As an employer I would be impressed he had taken any work and broadened his life experience. Even if his main role was senior level tech or whatever. No shame in being a team playing grafter in any work
lace setting.

I think you need to take just one deep breath OP and kick the bugger out.

Fair enough, but he needs to take a job and earn some money and keep looking. A year is a really long time.

Your savings are your savings as you are not married. He need to get a part time job over the holidays, maybe in retail and step up on the housework, or I’d suggest ending the relationship. A year is plenty to look for a job.

This sod wants to have his cake and eat it too. He can start contributing by lifting his hands and using a mop to clean the house. I would tell him in no uncertain terms that I would not be getting the money out of your special account. You probably need to die on size now as he sounds like he’s in denial and ready to use you as a cash cow.

Just leave him.
I left a boyfriend when I was 21 because he didn't cook or try to learn. 50/50 or fuck off.

He sounds like a waste of space op

Oh just saw you aren't married fair enough then

Why did you get married?

I find this entire thing bazaar

In this case, your OP is massively misleading. To the extent that you might want to get it changed.

Not working, does nothing around the house, get rid

Surely the local supermarkets have taken Om staff in the last year?

I have no time for people who sit waiting for the right job while they do nothing. Even if that means waiting on tables or serving on Sainsbury’s checkout.

So I’d personally tell him to get off his arse and get a job.

DP vs DH absolutely crucial when it comes to money. If he’s a husband then yes all income is joint and most of what else comes in while you’re married too. If partner only then no, it’s not joint and he shouldn’t assume any right to your savings. If he’s previously paid extra when he’s been flush it’s not crazy that he would expect you return the favour, if he was previously stingy it’s a different matter. Seems like more of your annoyance is with other forms of contribution tbh. If you feel like he’s a dead weight then no one is saying you have to stay together.