Why is my money his money?

That might suit her better. After all the rent he used to pay has not gone up much. She used to pay all the bills, plus half the food etc, and those bills have gone up a lot.
Anyway, if she uses her savings and another year goes by with no job, they will be back here where they started only she has no savings.
They are not married. So many women, married or not, can’t leave a partner because they have nothing to leave with and start over. It took me 10 years to save from scratch . I was stuck in abusive marriage for an extra 10 years because I’d used my savings to buy him things he decided he needed once he realised I had savings, Then it turned really nasty and I was stuck.
He isn’t even doing housework and told her she could get a second job, while he does nothing. So, she can get a second job while he can’t get one? If getting a job is easy for her, why hasn’t he got one?
That’s not a man worth staying with.

The weather STILL cleans them nowadays
So what - NEED to spend money buyin furry dice for my porsche INSTEAD of spending money on a window cleaner

No I wouldn't be dipping into savings for a boyfriend who hasn't worked in a year .

have you even read the comment chain you're replying to?.. I'll break it down for you:

OP
My partner lost his job and I still insisted he paid 50/50 of all the outgoings and and now he's ran out of money, he's asking me for money and I don't want to give him any of mine even though we live together and he's always paid more than me.

Lots of posters:
he's a freeloading cocklodging waste of space, you should get rid of him.

Next PP
I’d love to see the MN answers if this post was the other way around and OP was guy

Next PP
historically women earned less and couldn't have their own bank accounts or get credit cards, so reversing the sexes can't be comparable.

Me:
what the fuck has that got to do with the price of fish?

Next poster
how ignorant of you, women fought for the right to have a bank account!

me:
yes, but women are not denied bank accounts because of the fact that they are a woman NOW and they haven't for a long time, so it is irrelevant to OPs situation???

you
women suffer financial abuse and their husband don't let them have full access to bank accounts (which, while very true, is not the point in this conversation at all).

To put it simply, if OP was a man and his partner lost her job and he insisted on her paying 50/50 towards the bills even though she had no income, the posts would be VERY different, they would be questioning his decision to insist on her paying bills when she had no income for a start, and why he let her blow through all her savings, instead of him contributing more for a while till she got back on her feet.

OPs partner sounds like a useless waste of space in fairness, and OP is right to not agree to fund his lifestyle now, a year on IMO, because he obviously doesn't want a job, but I'm absolutely shocked that anyone would make their partner contribute half of the bills from the get go when they have no income coming in.

There are many women being financially abused in the UK and many have posted threads on
MN.

They may have access to a bank account, but that bank account is often empty because the husband tells her that if she wants to
work she has to pay for childcare from
her wages. Or the husband works and only gives his SAHM wife a couple of hundreds of pounds a month with which to buy food, clothes, school things. Or he makes his wife contribute 50% of her wage to household bills even though he earns three times as much as he does.

So having a bank account doesn’t always mean independence.

Oh come off it, this is the point I was replying to:

I think there is a point even still that as men earn more (generally), didn't have to fight every step of the way to get their own bank accounts and credit cards in their own names etc. etc. etc. that your suggestion about seeing this post written from the other way around might be interesting.

it isn't ignorant to point out that this isn't the reality NOW ffs.

I hazard a guess that there isn't a woman on this site that has ever struggled to open a bank account or get a credit card because they are a woman. so it is COMPLETELY IRELEVANT to the issue OP is facing, that is the point I am making.

I agree, and OP has said she's annoyed that he doesn't do any housework but hasn't explained why that situation arose. It's the 21st century not the 1950s, and you'd expect her to have noticed he wasn't pulling his weight a week after moving in together, not a year after him losing his job.

I still have a job and so I don't know how easy it would be for me to find a new one if I got the boot. Again there's not enough info to go on, but I'm not sure how easy it is to get a minimum wage job if you have qualifications and experience: they'd probably say you were overqualified?

OP has said it, did you even RTFT?

How do you know what he's been applying to as its not stated and its the assumption that he doesn't want to work and has been sitting on his backside all year. Its the arrogant judgement of the post that made me angry. People are very quick to judge and be negative with little fact on here at times.

But he is not applying for jobs out of his sector, like you are, so this poster isn’t talking about you. So why are you angry?

It's your money - but, more importantly, YOUR decision. If it will help YOU (e.g. save your marriage), then it would make sense. But either way it is YOUR money, not his.

This judgement makes me angry. I've been looking for a job for a year since being made redundant - in my profession I am very senior - but I'm not above taking any job to bring some money in. But despite applying for the jobs you mention as well as ones in my profession I'm still looking.

This is the worse job market in 30 years according to recruiters. I've been turned down for minimum wage jobs because I'm ‘too senior/experienced and wont stay’ apparently! I get up as though I have a job and spend all day - 7 days a week - applying for jobs. Sometimes the applications can take hours to do - I spent 4 hours yesterday on one application. I was interviewed over 5 months - yes 5 - and the job was then moved to Australia. Another job after 8 interviews was pulled as the didn't get the budget signed off - id spent over a week writing a business plan ready for the next interview. So what does that tell you about my work ethic and character!!!!

To all of those commenting about him being out of work for so long. So to put some context on the job market at the moment. I was made redundant last Christmas and I have spent the entire year looking for work - applying for literally hundreds upon hundreds of jobs. I'm too senior/too over qualified, jobs have gone to internal candidates or pulled at the last minute as budget didn't get signed off. I've got some freelance work at the mo but never EVER did I think id be in this situation one year on.

I pay 80% of bills still and have used almost my entire savings and I'm now looking at drawing down on my pension to make ends meet. I wake up every day worried, stressed and anxious - its mentally exhausting. I'd take any job but because of my experience and seniority I don't get them - I can't get shop work, I've tried. According to the recruiters I know, this is the worse job Mkt in over 30 years.

My DH would do anything to help me and take away this stress because we are a team and we love each other. So seriously I’d reassess this relationship. Also if you're in a job lets hope you keep it as now is an awful time to be out of work.

I wonder if he is depressed. A year out of work can do a lot to undermine your confidence. I definitely believe he should be contributing to the housework. Perhaps, a deep conversation is needed to cover how you are both feeling and take it from there.

Keep your savings in the 90 days notice account in case you need the cash as as escape fund. Similar thing happened to me when I was younger, my then husband lost his job, expected me to pay all the bills which I did as we had a mortgage and a child, wasn't very active in job hunting and didn't help out with the chores. I eventually found out that while I was working he was having an affair, needless to I told him to leave. Found it quite difficult initially but have no regrets.

Yeah I wouldn't put up with a partner sitting on their backside for a year when they could get a job at a supermarket or working deliveries.

FWIW, I think his chances of getting his dream job are gone after sitting on his backside for a year. it tells you a lot about a person's work ethic and character that they would rather do nothing for a year and burn through their savings rather than get a minimum wage job.

Why have you referred to him as your 'dear husband' if you're not married?

I think you're both being a bit immature about money to be honest. If you marry someone and I assume have a joint mortgage, then you accept that you are sharing the responsibility - if one person can't pay their share then you'll have to. Your husband can't magic up money out of thin air. Hopefully you don't have kids cos I can't imagine how that 'my money, your money' situation plays out. What would you expect him to do if it was you that was unemployed and skint?

Bollocks.

Ha, ha, ha
?????
!!!!!!!!!!
It could NOT B easier for young women these days, that IS Y MOST now get a bad rep.
They JUST play the system ... , council flat , tax credit

I have and would do anything to keep the money coming in, temp work, delivery driver, stacking shelves, care work. The time has come for your DH to do this, there are always ways to keep the money coming in.

You are not being unreasonable. However you could negotiate payments to your creditors and other outgoings you have and keep your savings.

It sounds like a bigger and wider conversation to be had about your values around spending and saving etc.

Do you think windows just clean themselves nowadays?

I think the statement about banking comes across like it was a fixed line when the picture was a lot fuzzier. Since 1870, women legally owned money they earned rather than their husband, and 1922 Law of Property Act gave equal inheritance rights. Banking in general wasn't common outside savings accounts until the 1970s. Equal pay in 1970 made the first major step to equality and the Sex discrimination act of 1975 made it illegal for a bank to discriminate against women for opening an account or more particularly applying for a loan, with women having been perceived as higher risk. However not all banks discriminated against all women before that; some would ask for an authorisation letter from a husband, but not all. The same way a pub COULD turn women away before 1982, but most did not.

I do think that it's tougher for young women these days. There seems to be an expectation that they have to do everything perfectly.

I remember when I was at secondary - must have been about '76 - two of our music teachers were married to one another. The wife was heavily pregnant and wearing a maternity smock whilst conducting one of the school choirs at the end of term concert. As we were all leaving, one of the mums was loudly complaining about the teacher "displaying herself in that condition"!