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AIBU?

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Is it wrong and does he know what he is doing?

29 replies

GreenVibes · 02/12/2024 22:40

My partner thinks he can have sex with me when he wants it. I can clearly say we are not having sex tonight and he says oh yes we are. He then starts to touch me and although I say no he says shut up! You know you will end up enjoying it anyway. So I end up getting enticed and we have sex. Half way through he does pause and ask if I want to keep going (is this to make himself feel better about ignoring my 'no') but people pleasing me goes along with it and by this point I guess I am enjoying it, I always say no it okay just keep going. He also grabs my boobs when he wants, if we are doing foreplay he is very rough with his fingers, I push his hands away and say no I can't do it that hard and he just flicks my hands off him or pins my arms down and continues. Is this so terribly wrong. Is it my fault for not setting boundaries and maybe he does genuinely think I enjoy it. I also have to sleep naked even though I hate it which he knows I hate. One time after a hard Nightshift he jumped into bed next to me and I turned away and said no please I need sleep. Next minute he has me on my front, bottoms off and does his thing. I froze couldn't say a word. He asked if I wanted him to stop and yet again a shook my head I just wanted it over with. Days later I told him how it made me feel and that it was wrong. He laughed it off at first then said it wouldn't happen again. It's so strange because I think I end up giving in now that it hasn't got to the point where he just flips me over but I think it's heading that way. I just think I'm numb and confused to it all now.

OP posts:
ThatAgileGoldMoose · 02/12/2024 22:45

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

You have the right to bodily autonomy.

FuckItItsFine · 02/12/2024 22:43

It’s rape. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. He’s disgusting. You don’t need to live like this. You can leave him.

Notsurewhatithink · 02/12/2024 22:43

OP, I think you know already or you wouldn't be posting, but in case you need to hear it from someone else: it is wrong, on many levels. Do you feel you can leave him safely?

Precipice · 02/12/2024 22:42

He's sexually assaulting and raping you. He knows it. There's no misunderstanding. He treats you as a sex toy and with contempt.

Please leave this man, OP.