RELATE is going into administration

It's in the article. I'd call getting to the stage where you can't prepare your staff for redundancy, tell them in a professional way or leave any money to pay redundancy packages is indeed fucking them over and not taking steps to mitigate financial issues before it got to that stage.

I think Relate have done their own damage to their reputation and the people who use their services.

I didn’t realise relate was a charity. I thought it was just a private company offering counselling. I paid a high price per session and thought they were shit. Like properly unprofessional to the extent I cancelled the rest of the sessions.

It's hardly a surprise really with all the coats increases. It simply isn't a charity that people think I must donate like you might for kids/animal welfare/hospices etc.

Asking people to pay according to their income means it is a service run in an unviable manner from the start.

Reasonable experience from our local branch - both in the admin and the counsellor we saw. I felt heard, with my position recognised.

Someone asked up thread - our fees were means tested and we're not in London.

It’s just sound economics. Relationships with conflict increase the pressure on other state services (e.g. police, NHS, education, the welfare state). This is especially the case when the relationships involve children. Improving those relationships or helping them end with less conflict lowers other state costs.

I always knew of them as marriage guidance too @MereDintofPandiculation

are they providing other things now? I'm puzzled what the worry is. There's lots of these services available and they should be profitable- if they aren't then I guess the need isn't there. But it doesn't seem like it should have any connection to the state.

Charities are acting as a backstop to the state, picking up the pieces when the state can't/won't. What happens if the charities are no longer there?

What on earth have personal relationships got to do with the state?

Charities are acting as a backstop to the state, picking up the pieces when the state can't/won't. What happens if the charities are no longer there?

It's not immediately obvious to me why relationship counselling should be the state's responsibility.

Could never really see the point of it. Tend to think that once a relationship is over, it’s over 🤷‍♀️

I am not too worried about Relate collapsing. I am much more concerned at the small local charities that are collapsing, Many provide vital support for vulnerable people.

This is a bit of a shock. I remember them as Marriage Guidance too as my parents went to it (briefly). They've always been one of those "big" charities that will feel like they will be around forever, like BHF, RSPCA, RSPCB, Cancer Research etc.

I went to relate . The advisor was sexist. It was an awful experience. He laughed in my face, when I said no sex for 6 months was an issue for me. He proudly told me.. "Lots of my clients have not had sex for decades!"

He was quite happy for my OH to sit there and not say anything, and then twist everything I said. I went twice and refused to go again.

Me neither. I don't think their counsellors understood a thing about abusive relationships.

I used to work with victims/survivors and then perpetrators of domestic abuse, I don't have good experiences of relate. Couples counselling shouldn't be offered in those circumstances and some of the advice was frankly dangerous.

@Ablondiebutagoody @DinosaurMunch and @TheFormidableMrsC
I too had a dreadful time at Relate.
Our (male) counsellor plainly couldn’t see through my exes coercive behaviour. I had to go back to my individual counsellor by week 3.

Same. Absolutely awful. Made her dislike of me clear because she didn't agree with my decisions. Never went back.

@MereDintofPandiculation

Hospices have always been charities and food banks never existed ... I agree about delivering council contracts though

Charities used to be funded by donations and contributions but more and more they have become largely reliant on government funding. Palliative care is largely delivered by charities - eg Marie Curie, McMillan, Hospices amongst others. It's an easy way to reduce costs - the services are delivered on lower salaries and lesser conditions than on council contracts.

It's not sustainable. These organisations are an easy target when budgets are under strain. They often have poor governance, weak management, exploitative working conditions and only plan for the short term and next funding round.

My own experience of marriage guidance/relate was shit but if it saved some relationships and families breaking up, and the trail of destruction than normally results from that, it is making an impact on society and possibly saving on more expensive services (NHS, DWP, Education) further down the line.

A lot of health related charities are largely funded by NHS contracts. As belts tighten and those contracts dry up the obvious consequence is closures. We’ve just had a significant local charity go into liquidation in my ICS and I expect more will follow once the increased NMW and NIC kick in.

It’s a shame. Me and DH went to Relate many many years ago. It absolutely helped and we are still really happily married. I’m not sure we would have made it without the help from Relate. Our therapist was wonderful and I think about her every now and then and wish I could thank her.

If the Trustees chose to merge, they didn't 'bugger off' they left because constitutionally they were no longer required.

I'm not worried. Had some relate counselling once. It was shit.