Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH dragged DS off the couch and onto the floor.

103 replies

Mincepiesformee · 02/12/2024 17:03

DS (8) is autistic (on the moderate to severe end) He is mostly a lovely, happy little boy but can pinch, scram and bite when over excited or overwhelmed. DH and I disagree on how best to deal with this. I move away as soon as he begins pinching or I distract him with bubbles or a song.
DS will refuse to move out of the way, says if we do that then it’s teaching DS that he can get away with these behaviours. Earlier DH was gaming when DS began to scram and pinch. I offered DH my seat but he refused to move away and the situation escalated, he ended up physically pushing him away then dragged DS by the arms off the sofa onto the floor. DS then had a huge meltdown which resulted in my sitting with him holding his head to prevent him head banging on the living room floor.
I told DH not to drag him off the sofa and just to move away, that’s what I do and DS loses interest and moves onto something else.
DH said I’m encouraging bad behaviour and not correcting DS.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 02/12/2024 17:22

Dealing with an autistic child is unbelievably hard. Its a stress like no other. As long aa this is a one off and its unlikely to happen again and he learns from it. He needs better coping strategies for sure.

SleepyLlamaFace · 02/12/2024 17:14

This is a totally unacceptable way to deal with poor behaviour at any age, regardless of other vulnerabilities. I would also be asking my DH to leave.

sprigatito · 02/12/2024 17:08

I expect to be flamed for hyperbole here, but I would ask DH to move out until he had spent some time learning about autism and the kind of parenting your autistic son needs. The National Autistic Society runs courses for parents, as do lots of other organisations, and there is no shortage of books and online resources. He has physically assaulted a disabled child. That's a "never event" and it needs to be treated as such.