People announcing their good deeds?

Mine is full of bloody missing cats despite there being a specific local FB page for missing pets.

I don't like it either - happened earlier today - someone on our group chat couldn't afford to pay the deposit for our hobby Christmas meal as she hasn't got paid yet and it's due today. I got paid on Friday, so I texted her to say that I could sub her until her payday if she wanted - you know, texted her behind the scenes, away from the group - so that she could make up her own mind about whether she wanted to accept privately and then how she might then communicate to the group that she could pay now after all. However, another member of the group then sent a gushy: 'Oh NOOOOO! Poor you!! I can pay for you if you like? It's honestly no problem, I'd be happy to help - it can be my good deed for the day!" Fuck off you virtue-signalling cow. Guess who she took up on their offer? It wasn't Little Miss Oh NOOOO! Some people really are tone deaf aren't they?

I don't agree about the Christmas card thing - but I think it depends how you do it. I don't sent cards because of the environmental impact - honestly the amount of C02 produced in the making and sending of Christmas cards is horrendous. So I choose not to participate - instead I donate to a charity that gives you a nice PDF to send to someone - last year I adopted a Manta Ray and emailed a 'Manta Claus' PDF card to everyone with a Christmas message (so no different to sending a card, you can personalise your email and include nice sentiments). I suppose the difference is that (a) everyone I send a card to HAS an email address - including both of my parents who are elderly and (b) I don't put a big message out on Facebook telling everybody that I have done it, the only people who know I have done it are those we get the PDF from me.

I do this (donate money, not post about it all over social media!).

A few years ago we worked out that cards and stamps totalled about £150 but obviously our chosen charities would only receive a fraction of this. Therefore making a donation, with gift aid, would be far more valuable.

This year we will be donating £200 to 3 different charities. But we won't be putting it on social media.

“A good deed dies when it is spoken about”

I always try and do good deeds, I don’t need to document any of them and tell as many people as I can.

But you’ve literally just come on here and documented I DO GOOD DEEDS 🤣 as part of your narrative.

Well done OP for doing good deeds and not posting on FB about it but posting on MN instead

I agree that the "I've just helped someone on the bus" posts are just virtue signalling, but I disagree on the charitable giving side. There have been quite a few studies on the contagion of charity, and anything that ramps up donations from those who can is a good thing imo.

I have done the Christmas card thing 🙈 but in my case what it really meant was, "I'm not doing Christmas cards this year because I can't be bothered, but I feel guilty about that so I will donate to a charity instead, and I'm posting it here Auntie Barbara so you don't get the hump when you don't get a card from me and have a go at my mum like you did at Easter" 😄

Isn't that called doing a Meghan Markle?

It reminds me of Joey saying there's no such thing as a selfless good deed! We do good things because it makes us feel good, and that, in turn, is selfish.

This person clearly wanted to feel extra good about themselves I agree though, it's weird and attention seeking.

I did that once, but not out of some saintly concern. I was getting fucked off waiting for the person to get on pay and sit down.

This drives me insane

Mate was 'healing' and praying in Manchester cathedral the other day. Splashed all over fbook of course

Some very kind people stopped to help my son ( late teenager age) when he had a nasty accident on ice while on his push bike on a cycle path), someone in a car on the nearby road stopped ( they didn’t have to) and came over to help. Did they post that on local Facebook about how “happy” they were to be able to help, no. I posted a general message on the local FB page to say thanks to whomever had helped and they PM’d me to ask how he was, just really lovely people. Not boasting in anyway but I’m a first aider and like most other people in that situation have stopped many times to help strangers would I put that all over FB of course not.
I hate that sort of stuff it makes me cringe even if I make a charitable donation I always make it anonymous, otherwise I feel like I’m showing off.

YANBU. It’s one thing to share something you’ve done if others can also help (like ‘I’ve looked into ways we can offer support to famine relief and this is a reputable charity I felt comfortable donating to’) and another thing entirely just to say ‘aren’t I a decent person for paying for someone bus fare, pat me on the back please’. Not to mention that photographing the scene of an accident and posting it online in inherently exploitative and shitty, even if you did offer assistance at the time!

'I'd like to give away these (usually very large) toys to a person in genuine need this Christmas'. Cue all the 'you've got a heart of gold' and 'what a lovely thing to do'.

Person 'in genuine need' says could you deliver it as I haven't got a car or anyone to bring me... no pick up only. Just say you're having a clear out and you won't get anything if you try to sell it and can't be arsed going to the tip.

This was my neighbour who has a van.

Our neighbourhood Facebook group is nothing like that. Mostly it's photos of dog poo accompanied by tirades. A horse walked by and pooped and it was armageddon.

I live amongst savages apparently.

Oh I hate that too.

I send Christmas cards because a) making them and writing them is a nice, traditional thing to do with my DC and b) I hate the thought of elderly relatives who used to get dozens and dozens of cards not getting them.

If you don’t want to do cards that’s FINE. There are tonnes of Christmas things I don’t do because I simply don’t want to.

What I don’t understand is how not sending Christmas cards = sending £20 to a charity. You can do both. You can do neither. They basically have nothing to do with each other.

If you need to save a small amount of money over Christmas to donate to a charity that you otherwise wouldn’t have donated to you could equally announce “I will be eating two less Terry’s chocolate oranges this year and instead donating the money to charity” or “I won’t be attending the work social this year and instead will be donating my contribution to charity”. That would be no less odd.

Our local Facebook group goes one better.

Poster creates thread thanking person for doing a good deed and helping them out in town, might be picking them up after a fall, or something along those lines. Someone will always reply saying how nice that is, but making a point of emphasising that they would have done that if they'd been there.

Obviously if you have helped someone who has had an accident then you would wonder if they are ok. But you still shouldn't post asking about it What is nice is if the person posts a thanks to the lady who helped be when I fell off my bike earlier today, I have broken wrist but other than that am OK.

YANBU, I can't stand this.

Yes, its just attention seeking. Good deeds should be between you and the recipient. Same as charity, I donate to charities but I don't feel the need to inform everyone of how great I am. Otherwise it is just doing something to get the praise from strangers on the Internet.

That really bugs me, I feel like replying saying 'You do realise you can buy charity cards?'. Just say you can't be arsed, you don't have to pretend to be a nice person. Also, never seen proof of these said donations!

If I see these I always ask them what the name of the person was. I know they don't know.

I found this very prevalent on Children in Need… phoning in to tell everyone about how much they’d donated.

One of the most truly narcissistic individuals I've ever known wrote a blog post which started with... "So this is something that I've been doing for several years, but sort of under anyone's radar, so upon my therapist's request..."

And then went on to detail the bags of necessities that she made for homeless people.

This was a lie, she did not do that.