People announcing their good deeds?

I think people are now of the mindset of "if it didn't go on social media, it didn't happen" sadly. I also agree that people are much more selfish and self-absorbed than they used to be. They'll be the first to start up a GoFundMe if they found themselves in a desperate situation, but would never consider actually donating to one themselves.

I love the little thrill I get from doing a good deed and I would be grateful and gracious to receive praise for it, but to seek out the praise is all rather a bit desperate IMO. You should do good for the good of it, not for the praise from it.

Anyhoo - a friend is just about to start rowing the Atlantic, so you'll need to excuse me while I go and make a donation to their charity...! 😂

Sorry OP, I didnt miss your point. It is indeed a good point, well made.

I donated some stuff to the charity shop earlier. Where are my trumpets?

Oh hell yes. We get this all the time at work. Certain people telling everyone via teams that Mr X wanted to thank them for their brilliant, magnificent outstanding help. Couple this with Miss Y being astonished beyond belief that the work colleague is old enough to work here, surely that cannot have been working for 10 years!!!!! They don’t look a day over 8.

😂 We take it in turns!

On my face book feed this weekend,
anyone know where I can donate lots of children’s books?
anyone know where I can donate good quality children’s clothes?
I have plates to donate, anyone know where I can take them?
All translate to, can’t be arsed to take to charity shop, please collect stuff and tell me I’m ace.

It is a 'sin' that it is all too easy to commit with the arrival of social media. Most people just want to be loved, or respected, in some sense, by their community.
I can see why it is a tempting thing to do, even if self-serving.

‘When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men".

"I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full".

"So that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you".

I remember handing someone their arse along with another lady on Facebook following a post on a holiday forum that went a bit like this...

" Myself and my boyfriend were in X restaurant last night and we saw this poor lady ALL ALONE. We felt SO sorry for her so we went and sat with her to keep her company. Hope she is ok today"

This was posted with a photo of said couple with cheesy grins next to a bewildered looking lady in her 60's.

Cue lots of posts saying "Oh you two are so lovely" " What a kind thing to do" etc etc.

Myself and another woman were the only ones to suggest that maybe the lady was actually enjoying her own company and what right did they have to inflict themselves on her and then to post her 'predicament' on social media.

As someone who goes away a few times a year solo, I would be horrified if someone did this to me. I am quite happy in my own company and not at all sad thank you very much, and please don't come and sit with me as I don't want to make inane small talk with strangers 😡

YANBU

I’ve done “nice” stuff like paying for bus fares/shopping, helped people who have fallen over but never posted about it or probably even mentioned it. Of course it is probably boasting me mentioning it now 😂

What they mean is:

'I did a thing to make myself look good and I'm pissed off the recipient hasn't posted thanking me yet, so I'm going to do it myself'

I would absolutely love to read a “good deed thread” when people share anonymously all the wonderful things they’ve done because it really does make me feel like there are wonderful people still out there.
But that’s because it’s anonymously done. Not so everyone can say, “well done Mandy you’re a saint”.
I like hearing about nice things people do but I don’t want to see some wee smirking prick taking a selfie with a homeless fella and a Greg’s bag showing off they’ve spent a quid for 20 likes.

Someone once took my dog who I was out walking, genuinely he ran after a ball about 6am into the park bushes. By 20 past 6 Facebook local groups were all sharing this “poor abandoned dog” and how awful his owner was and how he was to be dropped off at kennels. It was the most performative bollocks, “he looked too skinny”, (was part greyhound ffs!) his collar was scruffy/nails too long (he’d had them clipped 2 weeks earlier, they were fine, his collar wasn’t new but it was real leather etc) but about 30 people had told the woman who hadn’t bothered to shout for his owner or even look around and just got him in her car, how amazing she was. I was in the bushes looking for the dopey sod who’d fucked me off for a bite of old sausage roll from a stranger. She didn’t look for me/call out. She literally dognapped him to post on bloody FB.
Our local group couldn’t praise the dog rescuer enough and with each “well done” she got she added more bollocks about my absolutely well kept boy.
I then was given loads of unwanted advice about his nails or my favourite why I shouldn’t walk my dog early. (Yet the woman who bundled him into her car was also walking her dog)
Also because it was posted publicly that I was in our local park 6am dog walking I stopped going there because I was early 20s and nervous enough being out alone in the dark without every local wrongun knowing my route.

No, most people are incredibly selfish. They rarely do anything for anyone else and when they do they expect the favour to be returned.

I reckon it's no more than 20% of people actually do good things on a regular basis and the other 80% only look out for themselves.

More people helped each other out for a while during covid, but then switched back to their normal selves again.

It's amazing how many people say "I pay tax, that's my contribution." Even when asked for something that requires their time, not money.

A lot of people also think that doing something for their kids also counts as an unselfish good deed/thinking about someone other than themselves.

Virtue signalling. I would put that on the FB post and let them look it up.

Adopting a manta ray - does it not make it awkward when you want a bath?

Yes, quite a bit of this on my local Facebook. Also wanting to give stuff to someone in 'genuine need'. But how are they deciding that?? Are there needy auditions where the most downtrodden wins?! All seems to be for the benefit of the 'doer' rather than the reciever. Although even worse when it's just a general 'where can I donate some clothes/books/toys etc', like the high St isn't 50% charity shops!!

Yes. To raise awareness. Maybe to encourage others to do the same. At a time when they've just lost a spouse writing Christmas cards with just one name instead of two it's heartbreaking enough and virtue signalling is the last thing on their mind

"I'm just thinking of the person who always posts their good deeds online in a self-aggrandising fit of fatuous virtue signalling. Hope they're OK."

But I don't suppose your lovely friend announces it to everyone!

I think this can be a bit different. Friend of mine does this for a charity close to their heart after losing a relative. It raises awareness of the charity

Boy, not Bay

Tom Lehrer had it right in his song about Bay Scouts:

Be prepared,
And be careful not to do,
Your good deeds
When there's no one watching you.

Same here. And many people send cards to their loved ones AND donate to charity.

There's one guy on our local FB page who is always doing this sort of thing.

His latest is organising warm blankets for the elderly. How thoughtful you might think but... He asks for £x each then buys them from eBay whereby a bulk discount is available so he ends up with the difference. But the comments are all full of how wonderful he is and any detractors get roasted.

His family are all like it. One posts around this time of year how he would like to donate £50 to a family in need for their Christmas. Why can't he just donate to a local charity working with families! No, he clearly does it for the Facebook comments. I think he must also get off on vulnerable people getting in touch while he dangles money in front of them, deciding who is most worthy.