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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To fancy someone based on how they are not how they look?

33 replies

Parrotting · 02/12/2024 11:32

On a crowded train yesterday. There was a man sitting across the aisle; normal bloke, 40ish, not someone I’d find physically attractive at all. Quite the opposite.

Elderly woman got on, quite frail looking. He stood up immediately so she could take his seat. Not only that he stood and chatted with her until she stop 20 mins away; not forced chat, just friendly conversation about where they were going, weather, Christmas, etc. He then helped her off with her bag.

There was just something about the way he was when chatting that just made me fancy him. Just really jolly and friendly, polite and respectful, in a way you don’t see so much now.

Anyway, anyone suddenly found themselves fancying someone despite their superficial first impressions? Or just me being unreasonable?

OP posts:
em2001ily · 25/02/2025 17:29

Catza · 02/12/2024 11:49

My major celebrity crush is Jack Black so yeah, I get it.

I mean, Jack Black isn't ugly, he just isn't a chiseled gym guy. I bet if he went and got a six pack people would say he was hot.

Catza · 02/12/2024 11:49

My major celebrity crush is Jack Black so yeah, I get it.

Parrotting · 02/12/2024 11:46

Thank you.

The thing that surprised me most is that he really wasn’t attractive (to me) physically - in the polar opposite of what I usually find attractive. Overweight, not a total scruff but not particularly well-kept. All that fell by the wayside when he started talking….

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 02/12/2024 11:39

OAPapparently · 02/12/2024 11:35

I absolutely think personality/behaviour makes the person attractive (or not). I think it’s much more important than the way they look.

Me too. I’d feel disappointed if a really good looking man didn’t have a personality to match. Like an exquisitely gift wrapped parcel with a shit gift inside.

Mabelface · 02/12/2024 11:37

That's exactly how I roll with attraction.

OAPapparently · 02/12/2024 11:35

I absolutely think personality/behaviour makes the person attractive (or not). I think it’s much more important than the way they look.

DelphiniumBlue · 02/12/2024 11:34

Handsome is as handsome does. This guy sounds very handsome!

Zephyry · 02/12/2024 11:34

I've had this. It is behavior like that from men that make me like and respect them, which is the only way I can really fancy them!

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