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Original poster

Urgent! Butt of jokes how to push back!

81 replies

ineedtowomanup · 02/12/2024 11:30

So my colleague and I are going for a client meal today. My colleague always uses me as the butt of the jokes they make. It actually gets a bit awkward for the clients as they can see how uncomfortable it makes me.

These are key clients, people I've known years and have a respectable relationship with.

I know for a fact said colleague will again use me - I can't explain how they do it but they just take this piss out of me a bit to get a laugh and expect me to go along with it.

I just need to shut it down as professionally as possible.

Help!!

OP posts:
LifeInAHamsterWheel · 02/12/2024 11:42

I can't explain how they do it

@AmandaHoldensLips has given the perfect suggestion for how to deal with it if you haven't ever raised it before. But you should really be able to quote examples so that your colleague can't claim they don't know what you're talking about etc.

CrispyCrumpets · 02/12/2024 11:42

Agree with @AmandaHoldensLips AmandaHoldensLips (what a name! 😄).

This is the sort of thing you have to pull someone aside for. Point out what they are doing and tell them it's gone too far and they have to pack it in. If it carries on, escalate it. Chances are they won't carry on once you have stood up to them. If it does then document everything and take it further.

Dietingfool · 02/12/2024 11:40

So what has the colleague said when you’ve addressed it with them before?

AmandaHoldensLips · 02/12/2024 11:39

Before you go to the lunch today, tell your colleague you want a quiet word, then ask him if he realises that he has a habit of making you the butt of so-called jokes whenever you have contact with this client.

Ask him if he can bear that in mind before the lunch today, and tell him that you don't appreciate being ridiculed. It's highly unprofessional and you hope you won't have to raise this again.

That ought to do the trick. And if it doesn't, then a hard Paddington stare followed by reporting to HR is your next step.

TheDandyLion · 02/12/2024 11:38

Ask them to explain the joke as you didn't understand. Then wait for them try to explain how they are trying to insult you.

MumonabikeE5 · 02/12/2024 11:36

This is surely something you have raised with their manager or HR. Write down examples. This is not acceptable.