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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get annoyed at family members telling my son to take his finger out of his mouth

34 replies

Mummmyof1 · 01/12/2024 23:55

AIBU getting really riled up at family members for constantly telling my son to take his fingers out his mouth. He is only three.

I don't have an issue with it him doing it, it's just a phase.

Others need to stop trying to parent him and let him be.

OP posts:
DancingOctopus · 02/12/2024 00:10

@Mummmyof1
I didn't mean to make you panic.
To put it in perspective - my child sucked his fingers most of the time and would do it throughout the night . If I went in and pulled them out of his mouth, he would just do it again. This was over years. He had a brace fitted in the end when he was 12 or 13 which stopped him being able to put his fingers in his mouth.

TMess · 02/12/2024 00:08

I tell a 3yo of my acquaintance to stop doing it because a: it’s disgusting, her hand is often visibly dirty before it goes in and b: she then touches my child with her wet germ covered hand, while her mother sort of feebly says “oh no, that’s not very nice dear” which accomplishes exactly nothing. It’s not a great habit! It can be a soothing mechanism but I would replace it with something more appropriate - when one of mine went through a nervous sucking/chewing phase I bought her a necklace designed to be chewed on (which was only slightly less disgusting in my opinion) but did provide the comfort and help her move past the habit faster.

Mummmyof1 · 02/12/2024 00:07

LigamentBandy · 02/12/2024 00:04

Maybe they are trying to help, worried about germs or his face getting sore .
If you don't like it tell them,
A friends toddler used to suck his two middle fingers and would often have skin infections & sores from being wet all the time and end up at the Drs because of it .

Thank you. He's been doing it for about two weeks, on and off. I'll keep an eye on it to see if there's a pattern perhaps it's when he's nervous etc.
They're not really the type to try and and be helpful unfortunately.

OP posts:
Mummmyof1 · 02/12/2024 00:05

Bs0u416d · 01/12/2024 23:58

Have you told them this?

Yes, too politely perhaps. But unfortunately I have only 2 ways to talk to people... Either I'm way to polite like I was here. Or, I get really angry and get painted as the vilian as I only know how to express how I'm feeling by being rude.

OP posts:
LigamentBandy · 02/12/2024 00:04

Maybe they are trying to help, worried about germs or his face getting sore .
If you don't like it tell them,
A friends toddler used to suck his two middle fingers and would often have skin infections & sores from being wet all the time and end up at the Drs because of it .

Mummmyof1 · 02/12/2024 00:02

DancingOctopus · 01/12/2024 23:58

I can see why you are upset.
However, my eldest sucked his two fingers. I was very much of the opinion that he would stop when he was ready. Except he didn't. The habit started to change the shape of his face.
Try and get your son to stop as soon as you can. It gets more difficult when the habit is entrenched.

I had know idea about this. It's been two weeks so far, I'll keep a closer eye on it. Thank you

OP posts:
hepta · 01/12/2024 23:59

Yes I would hate this. It's natural self soothing behaviour by a very young child. He's not doing anything wrong. Don't let them do this

Bs0u416d · 01/12/2024 23:58

Have you told them this?

DancingOctopus · 01/12/2024 23:58

I can see why you are upset.
However, my eldest sucked his two fingers. I was very much of the opinion that he would stop when he was ready. Except he didn't. The habit started to change the shape of his face.
Try and get your son to stop as soon as you can. It gets more difficult when the habit is entrenched.

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