To get annoyed at family members telling my son to take his finger out of his mouth

I've said YABU because it can be a really hard habit to break (My ND DS goes through stimming cycles and hands in mouth was one I always interrupted)

I get you don't want other people parenting your child, but dribble hands is grim, and the quickest way to spread every stomach bug and cold/flu/germ going, plus as has been mentioned, worms.

I found those long finger plasters really helped kick my dc's thumb sucking habit. We went through about 10 plasters a day but I just kept on reapplying (and nursery also did) for about a month and then he just didn't go for it anymore. I'm glad I persisted as my dc's best friend is a finger sucker and his teeth line is bowed around where his fingers go in.

Chewellery is great for kids that like something in their mouth.
It’s a necklace they can chew.

In regards to someone telling your child what to do, if you have spoken to them and they keep doing it I just tell the child they can do it. My mum used to parent over the top of me, so I would parent over the top of her.

How can you not know that it's bad, and can cause dental damage?

I’d move on it early op - and actually, although you say they aren’t the type to be helpful, I think I’m this instance they have been, as it’s encouraged you to post in good time. Two-three weeks is nothing to worry too much about, but my BIL sucked his fingers from age 3 - 7 and had to have massive orthodontic work in his teens as a result. I know this because my pils still talk about what it cost them! When I was little there was a nasty tasting clear paint they used to put on the thumb and fingers to discourage the habit forming. At three he’s big enough to explain some of the reasons in an age appropriate way. You could maybe get him a fiddle toy if he struggles to drop the need for a sensory/ self-soothing technique? There’s loads about these days, and little soft, silky or velvety beanie type toys or “ pets” can be soothing to hold.

I spend a lot of my time telling 5/6/7 year olds to take their fingers out of their mouths so I can understand them, and because I am worried about illnesses/threadworms etc spreading. If you can stop this habit now before it entrenches that would be a good thing. If it's only been a couple of weeks you should be able to do so.

My parents didn't stop me sucking my fingers, and it did affect my teeth and mean I needed orthodontics later.
Also, the fingers I sucked are still minorly but visibly deformed now, over 35yrs later.

I'm with the pp who suggest discouraging or breaking the habit as early as possible, preferably before it actually becomes an entrenched habit.

Yep - finger / thumb sucker here and moved my whole jaw forward.

Oh god yes, the thread worms! I'm still haunted by those crawly little fuckers.

Do they still sell the stuff you paint on finger nails to stop biting them?

He must be doing it a lot tho in the last 2 weeks ? for other adults to have noticed and commented on it.

I agree with this.
It’s just annoying in principle to have someone else tell your child off in front of you for behaviour that isn’t unkind or disruptive and doesn’t affect others.

I would gently discourage it, try distracting him rather than scolding. It's not hygienic and can lead to infections. Maybe try washing his hands with soap so that fingers don't taste very nice!

YABU.

3 is not a baby, he is old enough to understand the reasons not to and be reminded that he shouldn’t.

So many germs that could be gong into is mouth and that he could be spreading around by putting his wet fingers everywhere.

The quicker you can get on top
of this, the better! Habits like this can be really hard to break and it’s easy to see them as harmless when they’re not! It’s much kinder to the child to nip it in the bud before it’s properly established. Good luck op!

I've got goofy teeth because I sucked my thumb as a child. I remember being really upset when a dentist told me to stop it (aged about 6) and I had no idea how to. I guess just gently move his hand down and distract him to help him break this habit. I hate my teeth

I’m not saying you have to get on his back about it - but there are good reasons to try to stop the habit forming if you can gently,

Some of you out there must have amazing babies that stopped these normal habits by the time they are toddlers. Other than offering a baby wipe when you see hands heading that direction, don't sweat it.

Babies and toddlers are far more resistant than we give them credit for. If you were to witness everything they stick in their mouths or what they touch before doing so every day, some of you would have connery's. They normally grow out of it by the time they reach school.

It can cause dental issues if it goes on a long time. 2-3 weeks I wouldn’t worry.

It’s a sure fire way to get recurring threadworms though.

Sucking a dummy or fingers aged 3 can cause dental problems. Better to try and nip it in the bud while you still can.

It's really gross to look at. And then drooly fingers come out and touch things.

Ew ew ew.

Why aren’t you telling him to stop? He’s got teeth now; he shouldn’t be sucking his fingers. And he’ll be touching everything. Time for you to start encouraging his fingers out of his mouth.

This. It is not a good habit to have and I wouldn't be promoting it. If someone is aiding you in reminding your child to stop I would be grateful. However it sounds like you have more issues with this person than just this, maybe why it's grating so much but I'd suggest you pick your battles.

Well he is, he's nearly 3 and it's not good for his teeth or the way his jaw grows. Not to mention his preschool teachers won't want his wet fingers on everything they & the other children have to use. 3 is older enough to be told to stop it. It's annoying as a parent for someone else to tell them not to do something you're happy for them to do, but they're only doing what they think is best for him.

The skin infections were pretty bad a few times they were concerned if would scar him.
I think it depends on the frequency of having hands/fingers in mouths .
I'm sure most of us self soothed by sucking thumbs /fingers or a blanket/toy.