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AIBU?

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Original poster

He got someone else pregnant

107 replies

Sange295 · 01/12/2024 21:29

Been with someone on and off for a couple
Of years. Loads of reasons why we never made it official however, last 6 months we've
been great and we're finally fully committed.

In the times we've been 'off' I've been on dates etc. I've always been up front about any time I had so he was fully in the picture. He's accused me of doing other things but I've always been open and honest and it's always when we've not been together.

Anyway, last week he dropped the bombshell that last 'September' he got someone pregnant. He says it was when we weren't together.

I can't seem to get past it until I have proof of dates that we weren't together. He's saying I should leave it and move forward. I think the biggest thing annoying me is I've been accused and if he's been doing it well.... also, we were def sleeping with each other and he was giving me all the spiel of how much he loved me and I'm his world and bla bla. It was me who wouldn't commit due to a million red flags.

Anyway, I've said tonight I want proof. He's got defensive and said he has no proof. I'm now turning into some kind of psycho searching PA for any posts anyone might put.

AIBU for standing my ground on this one or just leave it and move on?

OP posts:
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uncomfortablydumb60 · 27/04/2025 23:31

You’re wasting your time being on and off
Do yourself a favour and sack him off permanently

TunipTheVegimal24 · 27/04/2025 14:39

ByWittyLimePoet · 27/04/2025 07:39

Who cares whether you are together or not, the pregnancy is obviously bothering you!

And you have no definitive dates of when they copulated as you have no idea of her menstrual cycle.

Get yourself out of this drama and find someone who wants commitment and doesn't want to impregnate others.

Life is too short!

Show quote history

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Zombie Charlie GIF by Cartoon Network EMEA
ByWittyLimePoet · 27/04/2025 07:39

Sange295 · 01/12/2024 21:29

Been with someone on and off for a couple
Of years. Loads of reasons why we never made it official however, last 6 months we've
been great and we're finally fully committed.

In the times we've been 'off' I've been on dates etc. I've always been up front about any time I had so he was fully in the picture. He's accused me of doing other things but I've always been open and honest and it's always when we've not been together.

Anyway, last week he dropped the bombshell that last 'September' he got someone pregnant. He says it was when we weren't together.

I can't seem to get past it until I have proof of dates that we weren't together. He's saying I should leave it and move forward. I think the biggest thing annoying me is I've been accused and if he's been doing it well.... also, we were def sleeping with each other and he was giving me all the spiel of how much he loved me and I'm his world and bla bla. It was me who wouldn't commit due to a million red flags.

Anyway, I've said tonight I want proof. He's got defensive and said he has no proof. I'm now turning into some kind of psycho searching PA for any posts anyone might put.

AIBU for standing my ground on this one or just leave it and move on?

Who cares whether you are together or not, the pregnancy is obviously bothering you!

And you have no definitive dates of when they copulated as you have no idea of her menstrual cycle.

Get yourself out of this drama and find someone who wants commitment and doesn't want to impregnate others.

Life is too short!

kierenthecommunity · 02/12/2024 17:39

So he gets all jealous and unreasonable when you mention other men you’ve dated but when it comes to him you need to ‘move on’?

Well that sounds equitable

Makingchocolatecake · 02/12/2024 17:30

Part of me is wondering if he's been putting in extra effort since he found out he got someone else pregnant.

I can't see any relationship that has been on/off so much ever lasting. Sorry.

YouZirName · 02/12/2024 10:59

Have some self respect and leave, jesus.

Edingril · 02/12/2024 09:10

betterangels · 02/12/2024 08:47

Why would you want this drama in your life? I agree it sounds like Carrie and Big energy, and there is nothing good about that.

Some people need drama in their life, i do pity them but it is why I think the DiL/MIL (or male version) or new v old partner, even school parent and colleagues thing, it s like they need to compete and 'win' i don't know people like this who have good self esteem

Calliopespa · 02/12/2024 08:47

BrightLightTonight · 01/12/2024 21:44

So if he can prove that you were separated at the time, you will take him back, and screw the other woman.

Really!

Yes I agree. With the extent of the on-again, off-again dynamic, the exact date sounds largely beside the point to me op.

This isn’t a sound relationship . You are both using each other to gap fill by the sounds of it ( or one of you is). Pick me up to drop me down. Just use this as a catalyst to move on properly.

Also he’s not likely to have proof.

betterangels · 02/12/2024 08:47

Why would you want this drama in your life? I agree it sounds like Carrie and Big energy, and there is nothing good about that.

MondayYogurt · 02/12/2024 08:41

Just a reminder that on/off (intermittent reinforcement) is a method of creating an addictive cycle.

Handy that he always has an excuse though, isn’t it.

Venturini · 02/12/2024 08:24

What are you doing? This isn't a dress rehearsal..... why waste valuable time and energy on that shite

AxolotlEars · 02/12/2024 08:21

Just someone telling me to "leave it and move on" would be enough for me to leave them and move on!

bluebeck · 02/12/2024 07:48

Eyresandgraces · 01/12/2024 22:49

Of course he can remember.
It’s not just an ordinary day is it going to the abortion clinic.
He doesn’t want you to know when he was having sex with other people.

Yeah. You know this is true OP.

Dump him and move on.

JadedVeryJaded · 02/12/2024 07:46

Please throw out this piece of Jeremy Kyle trash. Don’t even bother looking at dates etc. The whole thing will ruin your mental health and self esteem.

Eetzup · 02/12/2024 07:42

Ugh. Don't you want more for yourself than this, OP?

Or are you the kind of person who believes all of this dramatic back-and-forth is really proof that you're star-crossed lovers who are battling against the odds to fulfil your destiny to finally be together?

Tip: it's actually just seedy and sleazy. Bin him and get some self-respect.

x2boys · 02/12/2024 07:30

Last September as in a couple of months ago or September 2023 ?
If it was a couple of months ago ,then he's cheated as you said the last six months you have been together?

PastaAndProse · 02/12/2024 07:22

Find your self respect OP and move on from this man. He isn't the one. Don't leave it until you have his children and are financially dependent to realise that.

DreadPirateRobots · 02/12/2024 07:19

Ah yes, two lines so common in the great love stories of our time: "he's different when he's sober" and "he got someone else pregnant".

Seriously, do you hear yourself?

QueenBitch666 · 02/12/2024 01:27

Dump the scrote

mathanxiety · 02/12/2024 01:20

TheLyingBitchintheWardrobe · 01/12/2024 23:57

He wants to clear his conscious and see if you let him get away with it. He is literally telling you WHO HE IS

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This

mathanxiety · 02/12/2024 01:17

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/12/2024 22:07

Relationships can and should be easy, fun, mutually respectful and supportive, truthful, loving, calm.

This one is few or none of those. Expect better and move on! You won’t meet anyone better while pissing around with this one.

Yes to this.

Do you like all the drama, OP?

Whowahway123 · 02/12/2024 01:17

This happened to me.

Right down to the detail of on/off relationship, pregnancy-abortion whilst off, forgive him, on/ off again.

Then guess what happened - we had an 'off' and he got her pregnant, AGAIN!!! This time she kept the child. She is now nearly 3.

Stupidly, we're still on/off.

Don't be me. You are worth more than it.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 02/12/2024 01:14

Any man, or woman for that matter, who causes their partner to have to be STD-checked should be binned immediately.

adriftinadenofvipers · 02/12/2024 01:08

Oh god this is just too complicated! Move on!

magiciansgirlonce · 02/12/2024 00:46

Wise advice from all.

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