Page 8 | Is this sufficient for 3 kids?

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 2024-12-01T20:57:50+00:00

apologies it’s long. Posted before got a bit of a wake up call in terms of my budget. id love another child and time is ticking for me age wise, so it’s starting to be now or never. The question is can we afford it. I’d like a bit of impartial help when everything is laid out, because sometimes if feel like yeah, our income is fine (I’ve put it on that min income calculator thing online and we’re a few hundred quid up a week) Ive worked really hard with DH do a budget, it’s below. We have 2 dc, is a third viable here? This is the here and now too, we have scope to get better jobs in the medium term and bolster our earnings. We have a small 4 bed house right now and a 7 seater car, so the ‘big’ things are already taken care of. Though we’d likely need to upsize in the future. our gross income is £110k per year base. Bonuses can vary between £10-£15k, last year was a good year and we got £20k but that’s not the norm. 3-5% annual pay rises. monthly income 6,400 salary + £170 (child benefit) our living expenses (mortgage, car insurance, life insurance, food, fuel, household bills) £3130. Our mortgage is £1350, I’m confident this will go down when our fix is up though. child savings £170 (CB)+ £100 £180 credit card (0% not too many more payments this is a mix of some work on the house and a root canal I needed) £60 mobile phones £500 childcare (this will reduce to about £350 in the new year) hobbies- £75 (dance, football and swimming) £90 car insurance £100 days out savings £1000 that leaves us then about £1000 which we then split equally between us and the basically give ourselves a personal allowance of about £100 a week, basically £800 a month for personal stuff. We buy kids clothes from the personal allowance as well as stuff for ourselves, haircuts etc. which should leave about £150/£200 for us to use a sink fund for any unexpected events, if there’s none then it gets saved. for another child we’d save the additional child benefit for that child plus an additional £50 a month. Worked out that way in the investment account that they have it could be about £25k at 18, to use for uni/ whatever (it’s the same as what we do currently) private school isn’t a priority for us, we’ve several grammar schools around us and if that’s not a viable option we live close to one of the best state schools in the area. we like our holidays but I shop around and I’m confident I can find holidays for 5 for not too much more than we pay now (I’ve checked) what do we think?

Gottastoppostingsomuch · 01/12/2024 22:45

It sounds like you’ve got it all covered, with solid careers including good pension contributions (partners employer contributes 3%! ) many consider / have a 3rd which a lot less financial security than you, I would be feeling very comfortable in your position (also debating a 3rd but a SAHM so it’s much more risky financially and I worry about being able to cope with x3!)

TrippTover · 01/12/2024 22:44

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:40

it was conditional past, like man if you’d have read that other thread…

it is a lot to keep spinning now but social lives and activities pretty much have to be kept for the weekend, at least whilst they are young, that’s our reality. In life I’m the forgetful mum friend

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Yeah. They definitely get more tricky and complex the older they get! But then I guess eventually they will then be going out independently once they’re teens if you live somewhere not remote, so these things go in phases, just like the nursery years.

I think it comes down to lifestyle, as another PP said, as obviously you can afford to have another child on paper. And not just your lifestyle - the lifestyle you want your kids to have too. Eg time for play dates, clubs etc - hard around 2 full time jobs. So lifestyle should be a massive consideration, not just the finances.

eakjoy · 01/12/2024 22:42

I did on my old thread and fuccck it was brutal, it was like no you can’t afford it, you’re shit at budgeting and shit at life (mild exaggeration on my part there) but it was a kick to get a solid budget going

That really wasn't my memory of it! It was the same as this one, it depends what lifestyle you want. No amount of budgeting will change the fact 3 kids is more expensive than 2.

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:40

TrippTover · 01/12/2024 22:29

Are you really expecting people to go searching for another thread of yours? 😵‍💫 (edit - I read ‘read’ as past tense but maybe you mean ‘go and read it’…. Anyway…. Not gonna happen sorry 😂 provide context in op if necessary! (Don’t mean this in a mean tone just quizzical!))

You can certainly afford it financially. Can you sanity wise though? 😅 I have 3 and it’s a lot! I was a SAHM and now only work about 1.5 days a week and the logistics of everyone’s schedules, clubs, social lives is mad. Love it but it’s a lot of plates to keep spinning!

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it was conditional past, like man if you’d have read that other thread…

it is a lot to keep spinning now but social lives and activities pretty much have to be kept for the weekend, at least whilst they are young, that’s our reality. In life I’m the forgetful mum friend

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:36

eakjoy · 01/12/2024 22:34

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew you've posted about this recently haven't you? I'm really not sure you're going to get any different answers today than you did on your other thread.

I did on my old thread and fuccck it was brutal, it was like no you can’t afford it, you’re shit at budgeting and shit at life (mild exaggeration on my part there) but it was a kick to get a solid budget going

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:35

Gottastoppostingsomuch · 01/12/2024 22:25

You sound financially savvy and that you know your sums, makes a big difference in your favour tax wise having x2 earners with your total salary rather than x1 high earner, and you then hit the 60% equiv tax rate 100-125k
how are your pensions looking? Do you have decent monthly contributions? Also do you have enough in savings to lean on in case of redundancy etc

We work in the private sector so redundancy is always a risk. We both work for ftse 250 companies , dh 100, so i wouldn’t say his role is more secure but he’s been there longer, the package is more generous and there’s normally scope for redeployment.

myself, I recently went through redundancy and walked away with 12k (hence why I said bonuses were larger last yr) luckily I walked straight into another role. Where I am now is a critical function to the business so pretty safe, regardless id be looking at a similar payment and I wouldn’t be choosy about my next role, I’d work in a supermarket if it came to it.

pensions, gah i need to get my head out of my ass and consolidate mine. But we both have 14-15% largely through employer contributions and a further match contribution, so we’re ok there. I also can’t see ourselves fully retiring, until 70, taking a step down to part time and an easy role but I think having something to get out of bed for is powerful. I will also have an inheritance of about £500k.

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eakjoy · 01/12/2024 22:34

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew you've posted about this recently haven't you? I'm really not sure you're going to get any different answers today than you did on your other thread.

Plantlady10 · 01/12/2024 22:32

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:24

Not arsey or goady (tone is hard to convey via message/text) but what do you want for your life?

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Its hard to summarise really but things like, we don't have abroad holidays, don't save money for the kids, rarely have meals out, probably won't be able to buy our kids a car. For some people these things are essential, for us they're not. I had a similar childhood growing up too, we had some treats but we did not have a lot of spare cash. I was happy however, and so I am happy to replicate that with my own children. I don't feel like I'm missing out as I never had these things in the first place

ETA - didn't mention the things I actually do want 😆 I'm a SAHM to two pre school children at the moment and it's what I've always wanted. I love our UK holidays, we do have some days out (e.g national trust) we have a modest but homely house, I have time for some hobbies (mostly craft/home based). Yes sometimes I wish we had more but I would rather have the kids

Ultimately we'd all have more money with fewer children, it's just deciding where your personal limit is 😊

TrippTover · 01/12/2024 22:29

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:09

Mate if you read my other thread….

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Are you really expecting people to go searching for another thread of yours? 😵‍💫 (edit - I read ‘read’ as past tense but maybe you mean ‘go and read it’…. Anyway…. Not gonna happen sorry 😂 provide context in op if necessary! (Don’t mean this in a mean tone just quizzical!))

You can certainly afford it financially. Can you sanity wise though? 😅 I have 3 and it’s a lot! I was a SAHM and now only work about 1.5 days a week and the logistics of everyone’s schedules, clubs, social lives is mad. Love it but it’s a lot of plates to keep spinning!

Gottastoppostingsomuch · 01/12/2024 22:25

You sound financially savvy and that you know your sums, makes a big difference in your favour tax wise having x2 earners with your total salary rather than x1 high earner, and you then hit the 60% equiv tax rate 100-125k
how are your pensions looking? Do you have decent monthly contributions? Also do you have enough in savings to lean on in case of redundancy etc

Mostunexpected · 01/12/2024 22:24

ridingfreely · 01/12/2024 22:17

How are you eligible for any child benefit on those salaries!!?

We earn more than this and get full child benefit. You don't lose any child benefit until one of you earns over 60k and that's after any pension contributions.

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:24

Plantlady10 · 01/12/2024 22:22

This. Our income is far far less than yours (£45k) but we will probably have a third child. We have a smaller house, smaller car, less hobbies ect but ultimately you've just got to decide what you want your family to look like

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Not arsey or goady (tone is hard to convey via message/text) but what do you want for your life?

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Plantlady10 · 01/12/2024 22:22

CuriousGeorge80 · 01/12/2024 22:12

I mean, obviously you can afford another child. The question is whether you can afford the lifestyle you want and another child, and only you can answer that.

This. Our income is far far less than yours (£45k) but we will probably have a third child. We have a smaller house, smaller car, less hobbies ect but ultimately you've just got to decide what you want your family to look like

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:18

CuriousGeorge80 · 01/12/2024 22:12

I mean, obviously you can afford another child. The question is whether you can afford the lifestyle you want and another child, and only you can answer that.

I think this is probably my question.

i love my holidays, my Disney holidays too, this is something as a family we love. But I’ve seen lovely family holidays in our budget.

we like to go away twice a year and then have a uk break and a city break.

i don’t think we could go to Florida as often but they do have 5th sleeper rooms, and then there is Paris for plugging a gap. It seems doable with some compromises (Davy Crockett ranch for instance)

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ridingfreely · 01/12/2024 22:17

How are you eligible for any child benefit on those salaries!!?

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:15

LittleRedRidingHoody · 01/12/2024 21:41

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew Impressive! I'm not at all jealous 😂

In which case your numbers look fine - a few of my friends do the same with slightly less ££ and don't seem to struggle. I think it's a lot more abstract until you have the 3rd, and then it just becomes life!

I think it must be subsidised by the council or something because it’s soo soo much cheaper than the other centres.

with funded hrs it’s just £7 a day. Food included. After school wrap til 5:30 is like £10 on top. It’s linked to a lovely school too, so the facilities that they have are wonderful. A pool, soft play, vegetables garden, all the school grounds and various play areas, school rabbits and chickens.

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CuriousGeorge80 · 01/12/2024 22:12

I mean, obviously you can afford another child. The question is whether you can afford the lifestyle you want and another child, and only you can answer that.

Original poster

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:09

KekseKekse · 01/12/2024 21:50

Why are you even asking? You have a substantial income, four bedroom house, good career prospects that many can only dream of. The information you have provided has the whiff of a stealth boast.

If you want a third child then go ahead and have one. You have so much more than a lot of other parents of three children.

Mate if you read my other thread….

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:08

NotTheMamaNotTheMama · 01/12/2024 22:01

I hate to be the one to say this and will probably get roasted but have you factored in what would happen if you didn’t have a healthy child? Could you afford 3 children on one persons wage if one of you couldn’t return to work and had to stay home? What type of life would your existing 2 children have in that scenario?

I’m the eldest child of a large family and subsequently had a disabled sibling come along and it turned our lives upside down, we went from financially comfortable to living in poverty and that’s before you even factor in the rest of the upheaval.

All children are of course a blessing however you already have 2 who you need to consider; do you think you could adequately provide financially, emotionally and with time / attention if you had another with additional needs?

for the purposes of this conversation I’m assuming you mean a disability that wasn’t detected in pregnancy. if it were, that may be another question.

I’m not familiar with benefits but I’d imagine I’d have to claim disability living allowance and carers allowance as well as finding some work on the weekends. It wouldn’t be ideal and our lifestyle would have to change. Childcare for instance would go. But my husbands salary covers all our absolutely essential outgoings.

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Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 22:02

merryhouse · 01/12/2024 21:43

I'm not commenting on the figures, but I think it's important that you don't buy children's clothes - or anything for the children - out of your personal allowances

talk to me more on this…

I debated, what to do budget wise? Less personal allowance? Maybe save £900 a month instead?

x mad and birthdays we just pull from our annual savings a pre set amount. But we’re trying to adopt a more minimalist style in terms of clothes, and presents to avoid over consumption

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NotTheMamaNotTheMama · 01/12/2024 22:01

I hate to be the one to say this and will probably get roasted but have you factored in what would happen if you didn’t have a healthy child? Could you afford 3 children on one persons wage if one of you couldn’t return to work and had to stay home? What type of life would your existing 2 children have in that scenario?

I’m the eldest child of a large family and subsequently had a disabled sibling come along and it turned our lives upside down, we went from financially comfortable to living in poverty and that’s before you even factor in the rest of the upheaval.

All children are of course a blessing however you already have 2 who you need to consider; do you think you could adequately provide financially, emotionally and with time / attention if you had another with additional needs?

KekseKekse · 01/12/2024 21:50

Why are you even asking? You have a substantial income, four bedroom house, good career prospects that many can only dream of. The information you have provided has the whiff of a stealth boast.

If you want a third child then go ahead and have one. You have so much more than a lot of other parents of three children.

merryhouse · 01/12/2024 21:43

I'm not commenting on the figures, but I think it's important that you don't buy children's clothes - or anything for the children - out of your personal allowances

LittleRedRidingHoody · 01/12/2024 21:41

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew Impressive! I'm not at all jealous 😂

In which case your numbers look fine - a few of my friends do the same with slightly less ££ and don't seem to struggle. I think it's a lot more abstract until you have the 3rd, and then it just becomes life!

Original poster

Newnamenewnamenewnamenew · 01/12/2024 21:38

LittleRedRidingHoody · 01/12/2024 21:35

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew

Are you sure those nursery figures are accurate? They look more like day rates round here than weekly ones to cover 4 days 😬

Yeah my youngest will be on 30 hrs soon and we got sent the contract and it came with an illustration of the cost, so it is accurate. My eldest went there too.

for us the 15 funded hrs knocked £200/£250 off the bill as he does 4 days. Be both work condensed hours

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