Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

Well, obviously, they are all called Rita and Doreen...

In my experience, parents need to come at this whole process in their own way. We only properly decided on our son's name when he was born. And with every aspect of parenting, we have found our way much more clearly when he figured out his way of doing it and I figured out mine, and we didn't try to enforce our ways on the other. Luckily, we tended to end up at the same place! Until he meets the baby, your DH doesn't know who he is. You have the privilige of a physical bond, he doesn't. I would let him have the space to figure this out for himself without asking him to literally put a name to it!

I think it’s interesting how David and Dave sound like they come from different social backgrounds. I’m not sure if there are any other full names that seem so downgraded by their abbreviation. In my opinion, of course.

@Mirabai @MissScarletInTheBallroom
Like I said, OP can do as she pleases. I'm just a random person giving my opinion on a public thread that she started. She can choose to ignore it. You can also choose to ignore me if my opinion bothers you so much.
Anyone can choose to call their child what they like, it's a free country 🤷‍♀️ But if you put a list of names on a thread on a forum then people will naturally comment on them. If you don't want that then don't post it on the internet, simple.

Not to mention Cherry and Plum.

You’re not the OP, there’s no obligation to choose names that are neutral & universal - what does that even mean? Class neutral, gender neutral, race neutral, region or country neutral? Which? All? Subjective anyway.

What gallery are you trying to please exactly?

Why can’t middle class parents use what you perceive to be middle class names? What has that to do with Instamums and luvvies?

Exactly.

The suggestions of them each coming up with a shortlist have been ignored because the OP's AIBU is that her husband is vetoing all the names on her shortlist whilst refusing to come up with a shortlist of his own.

As her DH hasn't come up with any names that he likes, I'm not sure how OP is being unreasonable. OP would like a grown up discussion but if her DH doesn't even have a shortlist of names, how will that happen?

You don't know what might be a good compromise, because her husband hasn't suggested any names.

He might want to name his daughter Chardonnay, and not like your "compromise" names any more than the OP does.

You seem to be missing the fact that the OP wasn't asking for opinions about the names, but about the fact that her husband is dismissing all her suggestions without making any himself.

But OP wasn't asking for posters' opinions on the names she has chosen. She was asking whether she was being unreasonable to be pissed off with her DH for dismissing all the names she has suggested without coming up with any suggestions of his own.

People have been really rude about the names, which is unnecessary.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom No but the Op made a thread about it on a public forum so I gave my opinion, just like hundreds of others. I didn't say she had to call her child Anna or Emma, those were just a couple of examples. Her husband hates all her ideas, which are all the same type of name - Insta mum/luvvie/(wannabe) middle class. I've suggested some names that in my opinion are more neutral and universal, that might be a good compromise.She doesn't have to take me up on those suggestions 🤷‍♀️ Honestly, you're far too invested in what I've said, I'm just a random person on the internet giving my two pennies' worth

I doubt whether Lily, Ivy, Rose, Holly, Hazel, Heather, Daphne, Iris, Jasmine, Daisy, Rowan, Poppy and Violet are giving it that much thought.

Right but you're not the parent of the OP's baby.

One person's "classless" is another person's bland and boring.

You don't really know whether the names the OP likes are going to pigeonhole her baby or not in any case, because it's only with the benefit of hindsight that we can see what the naming trends were at the time our children were born.

There's no point banging on about how someone should call their child Anna or Emma because it's timeless and international and won't pigeonhole their child, if that person doesn't like those names. And it would be ridiculous if everyone called their child Anna or Emma, so as much as you might think these are the best names, presumably you acknowledge that there does need to be a certain amount of variety in what people call their children.

Clementines the fruit were actually named after Pope Clement, and Clementine is the feminine version so the name came before the fruit.

Either way, I think it's a beautiful name.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Again, never said working class environment are "morally superior". You really are making things up now. I said I wouldn't want a name that pigeonholes my child as being from a specific class or demographic because that child might not always want to stay in that environment. It works the other way round too, I wouldn't call my child Jaxon either.

No! Not keen on those names either. But each to her own

Is it any worse than being named for any other type of plant?

You keep banging on about people with these names sticking out like a sore thumb in the sort of "working class" environments you seem to see as morally superior.

Well they're clearly not morally superior environments if they're stuffed full of people who will take the piss out of someone for being called Ophelia.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Where did I say she'd be "miserable"? You're just making things up now. Maybe you're the odd one.

Sorry, but who wants to be named for a fruit?

Well I like your names @Plum02 and I think your DH is behaving like a knob. Let him suggest something instead of being an armchair critic.

If you gave him a print out of top 100/200 baby names would he refuse to tick any off he liked?

If I had a quid for everyone who has suggested they "both come up with a list" (when the OP's complaint is her husband's refusal to suggest any names he likes) my family could have a completely OTT Christmas this year.

That's fascinating!

So you call your son James if you want the most timeless name, or David if you want him to fit in equally well on the board of a FTSE100 company, in medical school, on the football pitch or in prison. (Perhaps not anymore though, it's quite underused now.)

No, just that a child with this name is likely to be miserable if she wants to become a beauty therapist or a car mechanic.

Which is a really odd take.