Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

Why are you "researching" names? Pick a name you genuinely like.

Researching names does sound very very try hard, as if you are trying to convey an image/lifestyle with the name.

Call her your mother or his mother's first name-there can't be any objection to that and you will be able to tell people that it is an old family name-which will give the impression you're posh just as much as Ophelia or Octavia.

Tell him he can only veto a name if he offers up a suggestion of his own, otherwise it stays on the table. And threaten to draw a name from a hat if you can't engage in meaningful discussion involving suggestions from both sides.

Lol

Ok so one the one hand I think it’s perfectly understandable that your dh doesn’t like any of your suggestions because they’re all a similar type of name. It doesn’t surprise me tha5 if he doesn’t like ophelia he won’t like ottillie or any of the others you suggest. They’re all quite feminine and yes, sorry but quite posh. Sebastian is quite posh too in my pert of the world.

On the other hand, he can’t not offer any suggestions himself. Has he given no indication of names he does like? You’ve no chance of finding a cross over if he won’t participate. I think you should insist he makes a list of ten girls names he doesn’t hate, just to give you an idea of the type of name he’s thinking about.

I wanted to call my twin DDs Eulalia and Persephone: luckily, my ex vetoed both!

I would absolutely would if it was MY child someone wated to name Otter or Octavia. Eugh

There's an app that's like tinder...but for baby names. You both get the app and swipe left/right, if you match it tells you. We found it v helpful when choosing both names, and took any confrontation out of it.

I can understand why you’re annoyed at his behaviour. He should be receiving your suggestions more sensitively and making suggestions of his own to throw into the mix. Suggest you both write a list of names you like and go through them in a week (of something).

I would leave it a few weeks then suggest you each write down five names you like. This will give you an idea of his preferences.

You can then compare, fingers crossed there might be some shared preferences. If not it might make it easier for alternate suggestions if you know what each other likes.
If you can not agree, veto three on each list and consider /discuss the remaining four names.

Ottilie isn’t very faddy, I thought about it over a decade ago for my eldest and knew some.

I'm sorry OP, all of the names are really not good at all. Otter (Ottie) is horrible, Tilly (Till? Matilda?) is horrible. Octavia and Ophelia are only good if your husband is Jacob Reece-Mogg. Margot is ok for an old cabaret singer.

I understand you would like him to moderate his reaction but this is his child, too so I can understand him not wanting it to have an awful ugly weird name. Sorry!

I don't know if it's already been suggested but we got an app called "kinder" it's basically tinder for baby names 😂you link your accounts together and swipe one way for any names you really like and the other way for the ones you don't like. It then gives you a list of names you both like. It goes through tons of names too, this is how we got our short list

I agree with you that he needs to be coming up with some alternatives, but the reason he's reacting like that is that all of your names are of a very similar type, so he's unlikely to like any of them, because he clearly thinks they're all a bit pretentious (which they are)

I’d be done suggesting names he might like until he put some effort into. Women aren’t all things baby related service machines. If he wants a name you both like he can bloody well try to think of it.

Well he definitely needs to think of his own ideas

we really struggled to agree but at least my dh wasn’t an arse about it

in the end we both drew up a shortlist of five and ranked them 5-1 (5 being our favourite). We then looked at the other’s list and ranked them similarly. The name with the highest score “won”. No regrets at all.

We got a book of names and separately each went through deleting any we couldn't stand. We were only left with 1 for a girl and 2 for a boy! Btw I liked Ophelia too DH didn't.

He needs to bring some suggestions otherwise he can't have an opinion on yours. Give him a deadline to meet and discuss your top 10. Then see if you can find some middle ground with them.

We didn't name any of our children until a few days after they were here. But we did have a (long) shortlist. Starting from scratch once baby was here and I was recovering from a long induction and emergency c section with a tongue-tied baby that couldn't feed would have been absolutely ridiculous and I swear they would have been called Gorgonzola Nefertiti or something.

I don’t mind most of those names but love Ophelia, it’s not poncy at all. Far better a traditional name than something ridiculous and made up, or a ‘unique’ spelling, or the trend round here of having ‘-Rae’ at the end of all the girls names. My Dds both have older names that hover around the lower end of the top 100 and they’re both common enough that the names are recognised and spelt/pronounced easily but they’re also the only ones with that name in their class.

DH liked what I thought were quite chavvy names and ruled out names I loved (still annoyed I never got to use Beatrice). We used the kinder app to find names, it’s like tinder but for baby names. You link your accounts, swipe right on names you like and shows you a list of names you have a match on. We used it for all 3 DCs names in the end.

I like the names and in your position I’d say pretty snappily excuse me what’s your contribution so far apart from sniping from the rooftop? You aren’t growing this baby, you haven’t had a single name idea yourself and I’m too angry and tired to keep putting effort into finding something that makes you happy - how about you put a fraction of that effort in yourself and do some thinking of your own. Until you’ve actually made some effort baby is Ottilie Margot, since I’m the only one trying here I’m the only one naming baby.

There is an app called Kinder, it's a bit like Tinder but for baby names. You and your partner set up the app on your phones and swipe yes or no to names you like and it will tell you names you both like. Have you tried that? Sorry if it's been previously suggested.

Some really rude, outright strange responses here. None of the names on your list are awful or weird.

Would something like Clara appeal to him, to you?

That's another reason to avoid them really. My DD was in a class with three girls named Stephanie because that was popular at the time. Ophelia has particularly bad associations think Hamlet. Margot to me will always be Margot in the Good Life, who I loved in the part...

Your DH should definitely give you some alternatives that he likes, not just knocking down names you like, but you are perhaps out of his comfort zone with your choices. I guess he would be likely to suggest some more ordinary names.

Are there any family names you might agree on at least for a middle name and as a fall back if your DD finds the name you choose a bit difficult to live with day to day. Would you really have liked to be called Octavia?

We just put a whiteboard on the fridge - husband took left side and I took right side. We added names that we each liked and then if there were any the other hated, they rubbed them off of the list. Left us with a list of names we both liked and was minimum effort.