Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

I don't think YABU.

If he doesn't like the names you have come up with, he needs to come up with alternative suggestions, he can't just scoff and say 'no' to everything without putting in any effort.

Why not try him with a more normal name and see what he says? He's probably frustrated and rolling his eyes at the type of names you are choosing. They do sound like you're desperate to give your child a 'posh' tory type name.

This was exhausting to read, the number of posters who can't seem to read the OP that she wasn't asking opinions on names 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP, your DP either comes up with names and takes part in this deciaion or i would be naming them myself. He can't shoot down every idea andnot contibute anything

I would say Etta and Ottilie fit that criteria

haha fair enough.

Have to say though I had mentioned both my children's names (yup, the ones which ultimately won!) ahead of time and DH pulled a face or was 'hmm yeah maybe' (so not quite as strong as the reactions you're getting to be fair) but it was the game of sitting down together and comparing them to all the alternatives which made him actually properly consider them and for them to be the final choices. He was in the mood to sit and discuss rather than being in the middle of something else and giving an instinctual off the cuff response. I think it helped him that we were sat down together with nice food and choosing this name was our sole purpose for the next few hours.

Just to be different, I like a few of them and know a couple and it really suits them

However - do they go with your surname?

And what suggestions has he made so far?

Also, do you agree or disagree on most things?

Is your husband a teacher @Plum02 ? Because teachers are the ones who tend to have very strong reactions to names lol!

Anyway, don't know why so many posters are being wilfully obtuse and downright rude in some instances. A lot of people showing how snobby they are - bet they're the same type who say they "never judge".

Honestly at 33 weeks I'm shocked you haven't just had a go at him, fine if you don't like the names but you don't get the power of infinite veto, especially when you're offering nothing back.

Not saying that's the right response but I know by the time I was at that stage I was completely fed up and my husband might have borne the brunt!

Chosing a name should be a joint decision but I would be annoyed if its just blanket 'I dont like' for everything with no suggestions coming back. My DH went through a I don't like that phase but no suggestions. I said until he could give me suggestions back he couldn't vito a name just because he didn't like it.

Name that we like are so specific to a person so I wouldn't take mumsnetters opinions of liking or not liking them. I know people of who chosen some of those names and they are the complete opposite of what other comments are saying about those names.

I like your choices! I think if you can come up with a name you both like that's perfect but if not then maybe just stick to your guns, he may come round.

It is really annoying if he is just going “Nope.. Nope” and not actually responding e.g. “How about Jean Eileen after my great aunt” (or something equally awful) so you can Nope right back at him. At least you’d have an idea about what he might like.

Also have to agree with @EconomyClassRockstar as that method has worked for several of my mates 😂

@Plum02 "So while I expected he might veto the odd name if he really didn’t like it, I thought broadly he’d be fairly easy going and open minded if it was name I loved, rather than dismissing every suggestion."

Ah. Well, he's rejected 8 names. All of them much have the very same style and tone. Obviously he doesn't like that style and tone, which he is perfectly entitled to do-would you like to have to call your child by a name you don't like for life?As I said, I would leave you t for a month or two then try again.

I was with you up until the last paragraph. It's not really for the mum to choose the girls name and dad to be more bothered about the boy imo. However dismissing suggestions without bringing anything to the table yourself is annoying.

My OH was useless at suggesting names, but quick to dismiss my suggestions. But then he came up with a way for us to decide it together, over a meal one evening. Took a few hours, but we were discussing together and working as a team which felt nicer than just throwing names out there and having him dislike them.

Step 1: You both write a list of names (we did 26, and had 1 for each letter of the alphabet - which is not as easy as it seems, however you could pick any number you like just as long as you both have the same number of names.)
Step 2: Put each name on an individual scrap of paper, so you each have a pile of your 26 names in front of you.
Step 3: Pull out one name from your pile, and one from your partners. Lay them next to each other on the table. Discuss and agree which of the two names you prefer, place it in the 'winners pile'. Discard the other.
Step 4: Repeat step 3 until you have 26 names in the winners pile.
Step 5: Then take the winners pile, and pull out two names to compare. Which one do you prefer? This time it's 'winner stays on'. Agree which name is the best and discard the other. Leave the winner of this round on the table and pull a new one from the pile to compare. Continue until you have found the name you both like the best.

We played this game over a long evening meal, and it's how we found the first and middle name for both our children. A pairing came out and we couldn't choose the winner of the two. It just worked!

Makes it a bit lighthearted, means you both have to come to the table with a prepared list, throw in a few hilarious/joke ones for fun.

Haven’t read all the posts, but I think your first big mistake is

”I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead,”

Thats one mighty big assumption to be honest. So you need to sort things through amicably. You don’t give any of his suggestions, but why not simply choose a name each that you like, flip a coin for which goes first, and then when your little girl is old enough, she can use the one she likes the most? I have been known by my middle name all my life, there are still odd members of family and friends surprised that I have two🤣

I’m not keen on all your chosen names, but like most of them. Some are classical, with an interesting back story. Far more interesting than some of the made up just watched a series on TV type of names. Some of those names are “strong women” names, which I like.

Anna and Anastasia are completely different, unrelated names. Shortening Anastasia to Anna would be very jarring.

@Plum02 "I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead"

Why on earth would you think that??

He has a perfect right to reject name choices. I would expect him to come up with some of his own, though.

If you've got a while before the birth, I would just stop talking about it and start again in a month or two.

Maybe he has no idea and is one of those that when he sees her face he will be like she’s an … Olivia

Woulbd be helpful if he had any type of hint though.

I'm amazed at some of the responses you're getting. It's completely obvious that deliberately naming your child after someone (or "inspired by" someone) is different to choosing a name that happens to be shared with someone. Like you, I also wouldn't choose the former approach, which a PP suggested. I don't know why people are beating you over the head with straw man arguments, or rushing to share their own opinions on the specific names. It's clear all you want is for your DH to stop being a dick and engage constructively. Why that is controversial on MN, I don't know.

Would you be able to compromise on something more flouncy with a very simple shortening?

Anastasia = Anna

I like all your names, but that isn't really the point of the post. Has he made any suggestions?