Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

I like Ophelia - Shakespearian and everyone knows how to spell it.

Well, I wouldn't have Clementine (size nine!). Margot is very old-fashioned but not old-fashioned enough to be back in. I wouldn't choose any of them. Mind, I would be happy with Petronella, Helen, Imogen etc. so I am no fount of fashionable names.
Ottilie I don't like and it will be a pain forever to spell. And Tilly is short for Matilda - which is a nice name. I had no idea Octavia was a car - it's the name of the founder of the National Trust. How odd.
Instead of you picking names you 'love' why don't you sit down together with a book of names, or a laptop with choices and find some you both like; bearing in mind that it is your DC who has to live with your choice, so do not choose hard to spell names (pain - lived with two surnames that had to be spelled every time!), cannot be shortened to something silly, won't go out of date (so no Chardonays or Mateas Rosas) and goes with your surname without having funny initials (e.g. Don't give a name beginning with W if your surname starts with C). It's your child's name. If you want to give people your favourite names write a novel.

No need to be a dick about it.

I think his reactions are a tad blunt but it's not uncommon to take a while to find a name you both like. My son's dad had a name he's loved since childhood for our son and I genuinely hated it. He refused to consider anything else (I realise you have put forward several alternatives). Eventually I came up with a massive long list of names I liked. He finally caved on the second to last. I never thought I'd name my child the name we chose but it is compromise and I love it now because I love my son and the name suits him more than either of our faves.

Have your DH come up with a long list of names for you to consider. I don't think it's the case that men don't care what girls are called! I would hope fathers care as much regardless of sex and I don't personally know any men who have expressed a view like that! That would be awful! If he hasn't done that by the time you register the birth, go yourself and Ottilie it is! Although just to warn you, that name isn't unusual atm. There were 3 in my son's baby sensory class and another one in his swim class.

I love the names you've listed! My husband and I had boys' names sorted, no problem. Found out we were having a girl and there wasn't much crossover with the names we liked.

My advice - each make a LONG list of names that you like. And then go through them and see what the common denominator names are! But definitely get him to come up with some names himself. I'd tell him that he's not allowed to veto any more of your name choices until he's come up with at least 5 of his own.

Penny or Tilly are nice, but the rest not so much. I especially dislike Octavia, due to only knowing one and she's as nasty as you can get lol. It would be helpful if he offered up some names too, so it's a tough one really.

My friends granddaughter is Ottilie, but she’s French ( the granddaughter) I think it’s more common there.

It isn't, I've not come across it ever in 25 years teaching.

Your names aren’t my cup of tea I’m afraid. Ask him to make a list and go from there.

I quite like most of the names you have suggested on your initial list in fact I know some people who have named their children those exact names. I am unsure how to pronounce the latest name. I would ask him to come up with a list to see if there is one you may like fingers crossed you can reach a compromise.

Blimey if you can't have a reasoned discussion about this then good luck for the decades of parenthood to come

My friend's grandaughter is called Ottillie, but they call her Ottie for short and not Tilly. The names on your list though, are not to most people's taste I'm afraid, sorry.

Sorry OP. I I'm with your hubby.

However he should suggest some names as well that he likes.

I took 4 and a half days after giving birth to decide my daughter's name. Its a big decision.

I think some names sound cute as a baby/child but awful as a 'grown up'. Can't think of any examples right now..

I'd go with the mindset, would I want...... as MY name when I'm an adult. Do I want a lifetime of having to spell it out? Of people writing it incorrectly in cards etc?

@InternationalVelveteen it is becoming a bit “cancel the cheque” 😂

This thread is making me laugh far more than it should. Not the OP, but some of the responses. And then their huffy reactions when someone pulls them up.

Also, shall we place bets on when someone will suggest the Kinder app? Without realising that it has been mentioned a dozen times already. 😅

My guess you're coming from wholly different angles, he's probably not putting in any names as, given your choices, you won't like them. My DP chose names they liked but my suggestions were based on if I was the child what would I think of the name. Give him a bit of paper and tell him to write 10 possible names and if he can't he's to give up input and let you decide..... you'll get names (whether you want them or not)👍.

It's really annoying when you're trying to decide something and the other person's says your ideas are crap and don't suggest anything themselves.

I hope some of the ideas PPs have suggested help OP.

Are you new to mumsnet? 😬

There isn't an overabundance of polite debate here!

I like your names, they're classic and quite a few are ones I had on my list if my son had been a girl, one of them is my name too 😂 tell him to bugger off.

Easy, you choose her middle name, he can choose her first. Throughout her life you use the name you love.

Ask him to come up with a list.

I had a nightmare naming my kids because of major disagreements (and I love the names you've listed, a couple were on my lists too!). But I got to use the names I loved as middle names for the kids. They both prefer their middle names and they have the option of using either.

My niece (6) is Ottilie, we love it!

Maybe just say this too him, i am excited and like a type of name and you seem dismissive of them. As you don't like my suggestions, can you give me yours?

Good names for a Labrador maybe?

It needs to be something you both agree on. My DC went through a Deed Poll so we've done this twice now! You will find a name you both love. Sometimes you need to meet the baby to know what it will be called. I was supposed to have a completely different name and then my Dad saw me and gave me the name I have. My Mum loved it - it wasn't even on the original radar.

Well and also you are the one putting all the hard work into making this baby. I hate people who don’t acknowledge that!!! His body is not changing at all, he should at least listen and consider the names that are important to you.

My partner was much the same with both of ours and it’s demoralising and upsetting. Apparently all my boys names were too American.
ill add that both times he has brought zero reasonable names to the table. Apart from Jesus and Knott.
in my experience you’re not alone here.