Page 12 | Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

insomniacalways · 03/12/2024 09:58

You are just embarking on a journey that will test you both to the maximum. If you have not already then explain how his reactions are hurting you - my ex just thought everything was banter! You both feel very strongly about names - so stop spending time on your own researching and do it together list of 500 names find the ones you love and put a star next to them - then compare.

PotOfViolas · 03/12/2024 09:57

Could you get a list of top 200 names and each tick names you like and see if you both ticked any?

Frowningprovidence · 03/12/2024 09:36

Whilst PP didn't ask for comments on the names. They aren't especially unusual /wanky/old fashioned etc. Maybe it's regional?

There are lots of little margot, ottille and ophelias about and I know at least one clem and etta. The only octavia I know is about 25 and the car thing annoys her.

But generally they sort of are the isla/ava names which honestly weren't hugely popular 25 or so years ago and then became much more so.

jannier · 03/12/2024 09:26

Plum02 · 01/12/2024 20:55

No, that’s my point. He just has these OTT reactions to every name I suggest as though it’s the worst name in the world but doesn’t come up with anything. So I spend hours researching trying to come up with something else, for it to be dismissed again and for him to still contribute nothing.

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You do sound pretty obsessed how can you spend hours researching?

jannier · 03/12/2024 09:24

Plum02 · 01/12/2024 20:48

I’m not asking for opinions on the names. It’s totally irrelevant. I’m asking about the principle of his reactions and the fact he’s contributed nothing. It’s fine to not like the name and say “hmm I’m not sure about that, how about this?”.

Maybe as he knows your names are so out there he feels you won't even consider his preferences so thinks why bother not everyone likes names like you picked he might prefer a common name. Have you actually sat and talked to him properly

myfirstnamechange2024 · 03/12/2024 09:22

Thatdontimpressmemuchh · 03/12/2024 08:45

The only name that is not terrible on that list in my opinion is Margot. Your hubby is right. Not every child's name has to sound "unusual", there is nothing wrong with Emma, Katherine, Sophie, Olivia, Emily etc.

So many parents think their name sounds unique but in reality they just sound awful. This will be an eventual professional working adult who will have to endure an awful name like Clementine or worse Octavia which automatically makes you think of a Skoda or a name a stripper might choose. My advice would be to play it safe and think about classic names that will not result in your child being bullied, that sound intelligent and professional.

clementine and octavia are both very classic names

OreoMonster29 · 03/12/2024 09:18

This is such a non problem and you're making it way harder than it needs to be. Why does picking a name have to involve "putting in work" and "research"? Just give your child a normal name like Sarah or Emma or one of the popular modern ones like Isla/Ellie/Ava and be done with it.
I'm sorry but if my other half had suggested any of the names on your list I'd have scoffed and dismissed them too, they're a cross between old fashioned and wanky and I'd think he'd lost his mind. Don't saddle your child with a name that's going to make them the target of bullying.

Snakebite61 · 03/12/2024 09:11

Plum02 · 01/12/2024 20:42

Currently pregnant with DC1. My favourite boys name since I was a child was “Sebastian” which he knew before I was even pregnant. He said he hated it - couldn’t give a reason, to the point where it felt like he’d once said that so felt like he had to double down.

I’m now pregnant with a girl and I’ve spent a lot of time researching and coming up with name ideas. It just so happens every name I like DH apparently “hates”. So far I’ve suggested seven names I love:

Margot - ugly, hates it
Ophelia - horrible, hates it
Clementine - awful, hates it
Octavia - cars name, ridiculous
Etta - doesn’t even sound like a real name, awful
Penelope - sounds old fashioned, hates it

A few days ago I came across (and fell in love with) the name Ottilie. It’s unusual but classic, feminine and pretty. I thought it would be uncontroversial! I told him I’d found another name I love and before I even told him what it was he was rolling his eyes like “oh god, here we go”. Before I told him I said “you don’t have to respond straight away when I tell you, just take some time to think about it” - thinking that his automatic reaction seems to be to dismiss the names I suggest but if he thinks about it he might actually like it!

Of course as soon as I said it he said it he said “that is awful, I’m not calling my child otter”. I said “it’s Ottilie, the NN could be Tilly” then he starts telling a story about a pregnant 17 year old called Tilly (he has a public facing job).

He says I’m over-reacting to be annoyed just because he doesn’t like a name but I feel utterly depressed. He brings nothing to the table but it feels like before I even suggest something he’s made his mind up not to like it which feels so disrespectful. I also want to have a name I love, not just settle for something and it feels like I’ve exhausted all those names having gone through thousands to pick out the ones I love.

I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead, unless it’s something they truly hate - but how can he truly hate every name I come up with!

Pretty awful choice of names I'm afraid. Remember, you aren't the one who has to live with it for the rest of your life.

Iamiams · 03/12/2024 09:11

OP I know you are not going to call your child Octavia. But, to put into context for those who didn’t know about the car, there are/have been around 8 million Octavias in the world. And it’s still being produced. It’s a very popular as a car.

Commonsense22 · 03/12/2024 09:09

Clementine is a very common French name, nothing rare or unprofessional about it.

OP, have you broached the topic with your DH again?

CookieMonster28 · 03/12/2024 09:08

I agree with your husband tbh.
Instead of getting pissed off why don't you tell him calmly that you'd really like him to have a think about some name suggestions, give him a week or whatever.
Or just wait til the baby is here then decide.
They might come out looking like a potato and give you some more wild inspo 😂

eightIsNewNine · 03/12/2024 09:02

Thatdontimpressmemuchh · 03/12/2024 08:45

The only name that is not terrible on that list in my opinion is Margot. Your hubby is right. Not every child's name has to sound "unusual", there is nothing wrong with Emma, Katherine, Sophie, Olivia, Emily etc.

So many parents think their name sounds unique but in reality they just sound awful. This will be an eventual professional working adult who will have to endure an awful name like Clementine or worse Octavia which automatically makes you think of a Skoda or a name a stripper might choose. My advice would be to play it safe and think about classic names that will not result in your child being bullied, that sound intelligent and professional.

Can a name be literally more classic than old Greek and Roman times?

Those names aren't really unusual in children population.

The child will grow into a workplace which will be quite used to the name Clementine, because it is being used again for more than a decade now and who knows whether Octavia cars will be still sold in twenty years.

schtompy · 03/12/2024 08:55

It is so Not more your choice Just because you're carrying the child! Lord above, you both made the child, you'll both look after and love the child till you die.
The only choice you have is whether you want the child or not, and that doesn't come into this at all.
The pair of you need to sit and write down the names you like and go through them until you both agree on one or two. Coming on here to vilify your husband doesn't sound like the best of starts to a happy family. Talk to him! If you can't talk to him now, what chance have you for the rest of your marriage.

Original poster

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 08:54

Mere1 · 03/12/2024 08:33

Octavia was the daughter of Augustus. Roman emperor. Unless you were joking-tricky to tell as your attitude is so over the top.

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I know where the name Octavia comes from. My comment replied to a PP saying I’d be naming DC after a car, to say that the name Octavia has been around a lot longer than the car. Not sure what it OTT about that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 08:50

Thatdontimpressmemuchh · 03/12/2024 08:45

The only name that is not terrible on that list in my opinion is Margot. Your hubby is right. Not every child's name has to sound "unusual", there is nothing wrong with Emma, Katherine, Sophie, Olivia, Emily etc.

So many parents think their name sounds unique but in reality they just sound awful. This will be an eventual professional working adult who will have to endure an awful name like Clementine or worse Octavia which automatically makes you think of a Skoda or a name a stripper might choose. My advice would be to play it safe and think about classic names that will not result in your child being bullied, that sound intelligent and professional.

These names are not particularly unique. Just because you don’t know many, doesn’t mean they’re extraordinarily rare. I know at least one person with each of these names. As mentioned I have a friend called Octavia, she has a professional career and I love her name. I find it a bit bizarre to suggest it couldn’t be a “professional” name.

These are not new, made up names. They’re all traditional, classic names which have an interesting history. Maybe look up people throughout history called Clementine - I think you’ll find they’re all educated, intelligent women, not strippers.

Your comments only show your own ignorance.

OP posts:

Thatdontimpressmemuchh · 03/12/2024 08:45

The only name that is not terrible on that list in my opinion is Margot. Your hubby is right. Not every child's name has to sound "unusual", there is nothing wrong with Emma, Katherine, Sophie, Olivia, Emily etc.

So many parents think their name sounds unique but in reality they just sound awful. This will be an eventual professional working adult who will have to endure an awful name like Clementine or worse Octavia which automatically makes you think of a Skoda or a name a stripper might choose. My advice would be to play it safe and think about classic names that will not result in your child being bullied, that sound intelligent and professional.

Mere1 · 03/12/2024 08:33

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 08:19

Really? I didn’t know they had cars in Roman times.

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Octavia was the daughter of Augustus. Roman emperor. Unless you were joking-tricky to tell as your attitude is so over the top.

Original poster

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 08:20

Waffle19 · 03/12/2024 07:00

Christ alive you’re over thinking this, how do you even know that. Focus on what names you BOTH like, not how many places names have risen. You clearly only like a very set theme of names, you need to broaden that out as your DH clearly doesn’t like that style, and your DH also needs to start putting some forward. You’ve still got ages through so you really don’t need to stress or overthink to this level.

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It took me 15 seconds to google, in response to the PPs comment about it being old fashioned.

OP posts:

Original poster

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 08:19

Mere1 · 03/12/2024 06:52

It has been ‘around’ since Roman times.

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Really? I didn’t know they had cars in Roman times.

OP posts:

Frowningprovidence · 03/12/2024 08:16

This is why a lot of children end up with boring or common names. If two people are chosing a name, it's very likely to end up a compromise name.

Even if you both like fashionable names, or unusual names you are less likely to like the exact same unusual name.

Your partner should make some suggestions and not be so rude/ dismissive though. He might need time to get used to a name before it feels ok with it.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/12/2024 08:09

Waffle19 · 03/12/2024 07:00

Christ alive you’re over thinking this, how do you even know that. Focus on what names you BOTH like, not how many places names have risen. You clearly only like a very set theme of names, you need to broaden that out as your DH clearly doesn’t like that style, and your DH also needs to start putting some forward. You’ve still got ages through so you really don’t need to stress or overthink to this level.

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How is she supposed to focus on names they both like if her husband has said he hates every name she likes and won't come up with even one name that he likes for her to consider?

Islandlover · 03/12/2024 08:06

I love your list of names! But your DH needs to offer alternatives. We had the same problem naming the dog!

Ottersmith · 03/12/2024 07:43

People are so judgey about names on here. He is being a dick if he isn't suggesting anything. This happened to me, so I just kept quiet until my child was born, then I said to him if he could think of any name that he liked as much as the name I had come up with, then we can consider it, but he didn't have any ideas at all. You are giving birth and spending time with your child while it's in the womb. It's more your choice. He's going to have to let you choose after you've gone through childbirth, especially when he's not fussed about any other name.

Use the surname as a bargaining chip also. But then it should definitely be double barreled

myfirstnamechange2024 · 03/12/2024 07:02

i quite like some of the names you chose and one of them are even on mine. my suggestion would be that you both produce a list of x amount of names and get two number of vetos less then that so that hopefully you are left with 4 names both of you either like or at least don’t hate and see if that narrows down the choices.

Waffle19 · 03/12/2024 07:00

Plum02 · 03/12/2024 05:07

I’ve suggested names which I’d love to have as my name. If you think Margot isn’t “back in” I’m guessing you haven’t had a child in the last 10-15 years because it’s been popular for about that length of time. It’s risen 1861 places in the baby name lists since 1996.

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Christ alive you’re over thinking this, how do you even know that. Focus on what names you BOTH like, not how many places names have risen. You clearly only like a very set theme of names, you need to broaden that out as your DH clearly doesn’t like that style, and your DH also needs to start putting some forward. You’ve still got ages through so you really don’t need to stress or overthink to this level.