Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

@Mirabai Not standard anywhere I've lived, I don't know one person, adult or child with those names. All of my child's nursery classmates have names like Isla, Sienna, Ella, Archie, Logan etc. as well as some ethnic minority names.
I myself have an "ethnic" name as I'm a second gen immigrant so I don't know why you're assuming I've never heard names from different cultures. Having a name that is typical for a certain culture is totally different to giving your child a name that sounds like something from a historic novel, or a car brand, or a peelable orange fruit.

Also I have a classical / old-fashioned name myself, never met another one over the course of my entire school career, and was never bullied for it. It was never commented on at all. Kids don’t have the same associations about names that adults do, they just think whatever they encounter is the norm.

I doubt it. In my son’s nursery we have Matilda, Martha, Florence, Aurelia, Margaret, Margot, Ottilie and Florence. These kinds of names are not at all uncommon now and it’s very unlikely children would be bullied for them unless they’ve been raised by the kind of arseholes who think it’s acceptable to behave that way.

I love your names, OP! (Minus Ottilie TBF). Anyway does sound annoying, he ought to be giving reasons so you have something to work with, and coming up with suggestions of his own. Definitely a two yeses situation but he needs to contribute something as well!

I did find it very frustrating when my DH vetoed some of my favourite names but I absolutely love the name we've come up with together for our DS due in Feb. I'm still sad about a couple of the girl names he vetoed but may never be relevant for us!

Try names close to your choices, so instead of Margot try him with Marguerite , Marjory, Margaret.

Im in my early thirties and have a really unusual name (never been in the top 100). I was never bullied for it at school. I went to school with other kids with unusual names who also weren’t bullied. And those were the days when every other girl was called Jessica or Laura. And I grew up in a very working class area in Birmingham.

I’ve worked in secondary schools and have never known a child be bullied for their name unless it rhymed with something,
like jay being called gay for instance.

My kids are now in primary and the range of names is massive from traditional names like Clara, Elsie, Isla to names like Skye and phoenix and none of the kids care. I’ve heard piss taking from parents talking about other kids having been given ‘weird’ names though.

And the names the OP likes are in the top 100, Margot is really popular (been growing in popularity since the paper towns book came out 15 or so years ago).

You're 33 weeks so not too much time left to decide. You need to sit him down & ask what names he likes. Ask him to come up with 5 names he likes & you might get an idea of why he doesn't like the names you've picked. Could it be they're too fancy for him, too old fashioned maybe? Get a baby names book & ask him to have a look through it to give him an idea of names he might not have thought of that you both might like.

Marianne?

It must be regional as I don’t know any.

No, standard now. They’re popular names.

See my above post. If you think Ophelia is outré I don’t know what you would make of multicultural city classrooms - Bulsara, Artan, Gugulethu, Lakshmi, Devansh - they would definitely outnumber the bullies who can’t cope with anything that’s not Ella.

@Tiredalwaystired Oh come on, imagine going into a typical secondary school and introducing yourself as Ophelia, Ottilie or Margot. You'll have the piss ripped out of you from day one.

@Mirabai
Standard maybe 200 years ago.

We have a Skoda Octavia. I also have an old friend called Octavia. Funnily enough, to date, I have always managed to avoid confusing the two.

As for it not being a 'professional' name, I think my friend would beg to differ since until recently she was the CEO of a well-known multinational company. There are several shortenings which are used by friends.

Why would the kid be bullied? That kind of says more about you if that’s what you think would happen.

Thirty, forty, fifty years ago parents really did play it safe with names. I think we had two Marks, two Matthews, two Lauras and three Julies in my primary class. Oh and three Lisas. Names outside of a narrow field might well have been seen as “weird”.

We tend to be more outward looking these days so there are more likely to be a wider range of names in a class. Plus in lots of schools there is a broad ethnic mix so lots of names you may never have heard before.

It also might depend on your circle - in some circles Kai or Jaxon would be an outlier name. In others it might be Penelope. That doesn’t mean either kid would be bullied. I would hope we’ve raised this generation of children to be better.

I feel for you. My DP was like that about our DC and it's really frustrating. Tell him he has to bring at least 10 names to the table for you to consider or he's going to have to go with one of yours. If you don't like any of his then he offers up 10 more.

In the end, we gave up. After DS was born I said what name it should be and he STILL vetoed it even after 56 hours of labour 😆 Some men are just assholes. He accepted the next name I said after that which was just off the cuff grabbing at a name from me! Still, it works.

We have 3 Ottie's at prep school - Ottie, Tilly and Otillie.
Not uncommon around these parts these days.
Have him come up with a list and then narrow both lists down to two each and boil it down like that.
I'm very much of the opinion that the final say should go to the mother, who has, after all, done all the hard work. His name could be a second name.

I don’t get why so many people are focussed on the names? The problem here is her DH refusing to engage with choosing a name, he’s not made any suggestions but dismissed all of the OPs ones, that’s the problem!

And it’s not like the OP has suggested made up names, they’re all traditional names that have been around for years. Not everyone wants to give their child a plain name like Sarah. I hate it when people call their children things like ‘Skye’ or unique spelling like ‘poppee’ (both in my Dds class) but don’t get as worked up about it as half the posters here have. There’s lot of over the top responses here.

Has your husband agreed to come up with names now @Plum02 or looked at any books/apps?

Hi, OP. Oh my, this thread has been a bit of a minefield for you to navigate. Your names are fine; not everyone has to love them - my real life name is literally one which I have never met another. I love it. Yours are quirky, less common, pretty classic overall and honestly - who would care about the car for Octavia? Maybe Mercedes would work :) Perhaps a name like Jemima or Madeleine would make you both happy. I know so, so many people do go with family names etc - but using a very common name would just not be my cup of tea. I feel your quandary! Can you choose first and he chooses middle? i wish you luck.

Another tip - be careful of naming your child after someone in real life or celebrity you admire. They may turn out decades later to be a wrong-un.

There are posters on MN who seem to live in regional pockets of the U.K. that are super-conservative and white.

I don’t know what they would make of London schoolkids’ names - Kwame, Apollo, Mai Chen, Shaminder, Kabir, Zofia, Taddeus, Zoltan, Owetu…

Ophelia is a bogstandard English middle class name.

I like Octavia. Looking beyond the fluff of it being used for a car, it was the name of the wife of Mark Antony, someone who had to be very strong to put up with all his philanderings alongside his great battles. Clementine is a bit more unusual, not just a citrus fruit🤣 Winston Churchill’s wife. Another woman made of stern stuff. Haven’t checked, but might have American origins🤔

@jannier some people like the name to be chosen because they like it’s origin or what it means or base it on a fictional work they admire. I was really invested in my name list as i want the names to mean something to us. in the end DS was named after the birth name of the apostle that shares DH’s name so in a way i was able to name DS after DH without them sharing a name in an obvious way. Top pick for a girl would have been a name where the nickname would have sounded like my mother’s name and also been a variation of a name of a classic fictional character close to me

It sounds like he's being a bit harsh when he says no to the names, but I think he is 100% entitled to his opinion and you should both equally like your child's name, I don't think the fact that it's a girl makes it any more your choice. I wouldn't want my child to have a name I hate, so I wouldn't make my husband feel that way either. We have 4 children, and we both agreed on all of their names, even though initially if really felt like we would never find a name we both love, but we always did.