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AIBU?

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Original poster

NO 2 during dinner

213 replies

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 18:52

Me and DP are currently trying to encourage our DS (2 years) to use potty. It's hit and miss but we've had 5x number 2s on potty so far and everyone's thrilled. We set it up in kitchen/diner behind some chairs as barrier (he likes privacy) so we can keep an eye and he feels comfortable.
So tonight during dinner DS tells me he needs to go so I get potty as per usual. DP who's above average squeamish says no, take him to bathroom as he can't handle eating while DS goes for no 2. I go against his wishes and set up as per usual. Rationale being I don't want to change routine in fear of discouraging Potty use. Also, downstairs bathroom is freezing and time was of the essence.
So am I being unreasonable for "crossing DPs line" or am I gross and DS should not use Potty during mealtimes in kitchen/diner.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 01/12/2024 20:35

That’s disgusting, how would you feel eating your tea and then your DH starts taking a shit next to you…. Is it ok because he builds a barrier for privacy?
Your child also needs to learn you go to a bathroom and don’t just drop it wherever you are

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/12/2024 20:34

You're being gross.

AInightingale · 01/12/2024 20:33

My first thought on starting to read this after seeing the title was 'thank God this does not refer to an adult.'

RoachFish · 01/12/2024 20:33

One of the most revolting things I have read on MN I think. I can't see any benefit in teaching a child that it's OK to shit anywhere but the bathroom, especially not around where people are eating. It's extremely disrespectful and downright nasty.

HooMoo · 01/12/2024 20:31

This sounds grim tbh. Put it in the downstairs loo end of.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 20:26

NoNoNona · 01/12/2024 20:24

But surely you know when he is "due" to go. It is about 24 hours after a heavy meal, could be sooner, but all depends on what is being eaten.
Also a warm drink can "encourage" movement.
Potty in the room you are eating in, absolutely no. I mean do you and your other half go in the dining-room?

What on earth? Are you meant to track their poo?

Ablondiebutagoody · 01/12/2024 20:25

Why do you want him to shit in the kitchen?! Disgusting

NoNoNona · 01/12/2024 20:24

But surely you know when he is "due" to go. It is about 24 hours after a heavy meal, could be sooner, but all depends on what is being eaten.
Also a warm drink can "encourage" movement.
Potty in the room you are eating in, absolutely no. I mean do you and your other half go in the dining-room?

Plum02 · 01/12/2024 20:22

Your DP is not “above average squeamish”. He is normal and you are disgusting.

Wigtopia · 01/12/2024 20:20

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 19:38

It was DP who started putting Potty in kitchen/diner in the first place that's why I think he's being a bit contradictory. Fair enough- Potty will live in the bathroom like it was originally but I strongly believe there needs to be consistency during potty training to get best results. I appreciate im not the norm but I'm a nurse so nothing grosses me out..not even shit during mealtimes 🤣. I regularly look at images of wounds whilst I happily tuck into my sandwich. TMI I know.

If we’re looking for consistency I’d say definitely set it up in the bathroom as that is where they will graduate to from the potty! 😉

doodleschnoodle · 01/12/2024 20:17

I think it is a bit gross, sorry OP! I think you can get a bit tunnel vision about potty training sometimes and divorced from reality a bit, and the reality is that someone doing a poo right beside where you are eating is not nice. You wouldn't change a nappy right there, so I wouldn't have DC use a potty there either. I'm not that squeamish but it would put my husband off his dinner (he is funny about poo but not sick, whereas it's the other way round with me, so it works out pretty well most of the time!)

I'm currently toilet training DD2 but we have a few potties that move around depending on where we are, mostly they are in bathroom but sometimes in the living room etc. I wouldn't have one in the kitchen while food was being prepared or eaten. I'm hoping she'll prefer the toilet for number 2s as poo in the potty is gross in the first place. DD1 preferred potty for poos and I was pregnant with DD2 and was heaving and retching every time I had to empty and clean it out if DH was at work Envy

luckylavender · 01/12/2024 20:16

Team DH

mamajong · 01/12/2024 20:15

While eating? No that's gross yabu

NoTouch · 01/12/2024 20:13

Gross having potty in kitchen

Out of order dismissing your partner and making them put up with someone shitting in the same room while they are eating when they have said they have a problem with it

housethatbuiltme · 01/12/2024 20:12

That is really gross.

I never understand the point of a potty in the first place, completely unnecessary middle man (just get a seat/step for the real toilet) and with all logic in the world why are you deliberately training your kid to shit in the kitchen?

You don't want to break routine? So you are conditioning him to think thats normal... its not.

ParkAndRider · 01/12/2024 20:12

I wouldn't like to eat my dinner whilst a toddler shat behind a chair either.

Electricalb · 01/12/2024 20:11

I must admit I understand your position OP, but definitely wouldn't have had that near eating.

Years ago we were training our youngest and the only one who actually used a potty.
Finally after an age she got it and did a huge number two unexpectedly.
My husband came upon it as I was full of praise.

He went pale and seem to come over all weak with🤢🤮.

I was all WTF...4th child??? Are you serious?? With all we have dealt with...exploding arses, hosing hanging children down... etc.

There was something about the mound of it, proudly twirled in the potty, in the middle of the play room, that finished him off.😂

The memory cracked me up and still does...happy days!

You never know where a persons 🤢🤮 line is going to be😁

Scutterbug · 01/12/2024 20:10

Ugh that’s not nice. I hate potties though anyway, Didn’t use them with mine.

crochetmonkey74 · 01/12/2024 20:10

Ugh god no. This is gross

Hoglet70 · 01/12/2024 20:10

Utterly vile. People shit in the loo, not at the dinner table.

AspirationalTallskinnylatte · 01/12/2024 20:09

Yeah that is rancid. It's a special kind of madness when you have little kids though so I wouldn't feel bad about it.

StandingSideBySide · 01/12/2024 20:08

Dc needs to get use to going into the bathroom
Im with your dh on this one

RisingSunn · 01/12/2024 20:08

Matilda1981 · 01/12/2024 19:20

Having a potty in the kitchen is rank!!! I’ve potty trained 4 kids and never even used a potty as cleaning out number 2’s made me heave (didn’t mind nappies so not sure why I couldn’t cope with a potty!) mine went straight onto a toilet!

I was just about to post exactly this! 4 children and have never used a potty - I just didn’t think it was worth the extra hurdle.

Team DH all the way.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 01/12/2024 20:07

lightsandtunnels · 01/12/2024 20:02

Totally agree with consistency.

I never used a potty with my two DCs. They were encouraged to use the toilet with a step and kids seat on top of the actual loo so they didn't fall through the hole! I thought it was easier to go for broke in the first instance rather than get them used to a potty that you carry around and then get used to the toilet - seems like too much hard work for me!

DS didn't like using a potty, we also had a step and one of those seats that goes on top of the normal seat, we would also take that out and about for a bit (in a bag) so he could use public toilets easily - quick Dettol wipe after and back in the bag. He got used to using toilets really quickly, which was good for me because I've got a weak stomach and a keen sense of smell, much preferred him to use something with a flush.

dreamer24 · 01/12/2024 20:07

Grim. I say this as a mum of a 3 year old who potty trained her at a similar age. Absolutely no need for a potty to be in the kitchen where people are eating.