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AIBU?

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Original poster

NO 2 during dinner

213 replies

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 18:52

Me and DP are currently trying to encourage our DS (2 years) to use potty. It's hit and miss but we've had 5x number 2s on potty so far and everyone's thrilled. We set it up in kitchen/diner behind some chairs as barrier (he likes privacy) so we can keep an eye and he feels comfortable.
So tonight during dinner DS tells me he needs to go so I get potty as per usual. DP who's above average squeamish says no, take him to bathroom as he can't handle eating while DS goes for no 2. I go against his wishes and set up as per usual. Rationale being I don't want to change routine in fear of discouraging Potty use. Also, downstairs bathroom is freezing and time was of the essence.
So am I being unreasonable for "crossing DPs line" or am I gross and DS should not use Potty during mealtimes in kitchen/diner.

OP posts:
DobbyTheHouseElk · 01/12/2024 21:37

Yuck, the potty needs to be in the toilet room.

Quickdraw23 · 01/12/2024 21:34

do some people get desensitised to toilet things when in this phase of parenting? I had a friend who used to change her toddlers nappy in my living/dining room when they stayed over, filling the atmosphere with the poo stench 🤢, more than once this happened just before I was about to serve a meal. I absolutely hated it and found it unhygienic, but felt too embarrassed to ask her to please go upstairs to the bathroom.

I’m expecting my first now and I want to try and really not get into this zone when my time to deal with this comes.

sorry OP, I think yabu; possibly you’re extremely focussed on your goal and have maybe lost touch of what is acceptable. Good luck with the potty training.

stargazerlil · 01/12/2024 21:17

How disgusting, does the barrier stop the noises and smell too, urrghh.

MrsWinkly · 01/12/2024 21:16

Matilda1981 · 01/12/2024 19:20

Having a potty in the kitchen is rank!!! I’ve potty trained 4 kids and never even used a potty as cleaning out number 2’s made me heave (didn’t mind nappies so not sure why I couldn’t cope with a potty!) mine went straight onto a toilet!

Same!
Think it's the waterless void full of stinking turd that made me gag, especially when they got stuck in there 😭

christmasnotchristmust · 01/12/2024 21:15

Do you also flush the toilet before closing the lid when you go? 🤢

christmasnotchristmust · 01/12/2024 21:13

Nursery teacher here. Nasty.

TwoShades1 · 01/12/2024 21:13

I’m with your DP. This should be done in the bathroom, especially as you say you have one downstairs. Personally I went straight to mine being on the toilet with a toddler seat, so I don’t didn’t need to go through the whole process of transitioning them away from potty.

Marblesbackagain · 01/12/2024 21:10

YABVU

SanctusInDistress · 01/12/2024 21:07

Pippinsdiary · 01/12/2024 21:03

Why is it too early? Mine was potty trained at 20 months… wasn’t a long slog at all so thats not everyones experience

Show quote history

the odd child maybe, especially girls, but it’s a fact of nature that boys are ready later and rarely before 3.

I find it hard to believe your was fully trained at 20 months. At what expense I wonder.

BrightYellowStar · 01/12/2024 21:07

I think using a potty is gross period. However using it in a KITCHEN - a food preparation area is next level disgusting.

I simply bought a little step and kids padded toilet seat insert so that my 2 could be toilet trained on an actual toilet. I couldn't face dealing with a potty.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 01/12/2024 21:04

Why do you need a potty anywhere other than the loo? Fucking rancid him having a shit whilst your eating 🤮🤮🤮

Pippinsdiary · 01/12/2024 21:03

SanctusInDistress · 01/12/2024 21:01

Two years old is for too early. Give yourself and him a break. Until boys are 3, it’s a long slog and there will be many false starts. Don’t try to be the youngest potty trained boy in the area.

Why is it too early? Mine was potty trained at 20 months… wasn’t a long slog at all so thats not everyones experience

SanctusInDistress · 01/12/2024 21:01

Two years old is for too early. Give yourself and him a break. Until boys are 3, it’s a long slog and there will be many false starts. Don’t try to be the youngest potty trained boy in the area.

Pippinsdiary · 01/12/2024 21:00

LadyWiddiothethird · 01/12/2024 20:39

I was a nurse and think you are dirty,that is disgusting,teach your child to use the toilet in a room with a toilet in it!

What does being a nurse have to do with it?

GoldenGuinea · 01/12/2024 20:59

I can understand not wanting to confuse your child or give them hang us about using the potty, and I don't think them going in the kitchen is a huge deal but it is a bit gross.
Its also not the same as a nappy because a nappy contains it more so the smell is less intense.

AdoraBell · 01/12/2024 20:56

Utterly gross 🤮 IMO

Scrimblescromble · 01/12/2024 20:41

Meh, I don’t think it’s the worst crime but can understand why your husband might’ve felt a bit squeamish over it

Ellie56 · 01/12/2024 20:40

Potty in the kitchen is gross.

LadyWiddiothethird · 01/12/2024 20:39

I was a nurse and think you are dirty,that is disgusting,teach your child to use the toilet in a room with a toilet in it!

notacooldad · 01/12/2024 20:38

I am in agreement with your DH tbh.
Also I have never seen or had potties dotted around the house.

Caerulea · 01/12/2024 20:37

YANBU imo. I think it's more important to avoid giving children 'issues' around normal bodily functions. Obviously that's a fine line with also teaching that you can't just crap on the floor wherever you want - but you're not doing that, you're using a potty with him.

If ppl start skwarking around little ppl learning to do ordinary things those little ppl end up with issues & shame.

And no, OP isn't going to end up with her child shitting on the floor of tescos cos he used a potty somewhere other than the toilet.

comoatoupeira · 01/12/2024 20:36

At the beginning of potty training, for the first few weeks, we and all of our (non disgusting) friends all did this. Totally normal.
don’t worry, OP.

MumonabikeE5 · 01/12/2024 20:36

Why wouldn’t he potty be in the bathroom? Eew

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/12/2024 20:35

We avoided potty’s entirely with the last 2 kids. Straight onto child’s seat on the toilet because it’s gross and the potty should be in the bathroom anyway.Never had an issue and there’s absolutely no need for a potty to be anywhere other than the toilet.

SophiaCohle · 01/12/2024 20:35

I think you're both being unreasonable tbh! DH is being completely wet about normal bodily functions and was stupid to suggest putting the potty in the dining room in the first place, especially if DS needs privacy. YANBU to want to be consistent, but if you know DH is squeamish about the potty and DS wants privacy, why go along with some silly set up having the potty in the dining room hidden behind a barrier of chairs? Doesn't meet anyone's needs, as you are now finding. Toilet training is about teaching children to respond appropriately to bodily cues but is also about teaching socially acceptable norms. If you don't want to take a shit behind the sofa, probably best not to teach your child to either.