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AIBU?

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Original poster

NO 2 during dinner

213 replies

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 18:52

Me and DP are currently trying to encourage our DS (2 years) to use potty. It's hit and miss but we've had 5x number 2s on potty so far and everyone's thrilled. We set it up in kitchen/diner behind some chairs as barrier (he likes privacy) so we can keep an eye and he feels comfortable.
So tonight during dinner DS tells me he needs to go so I get potty as per usual. DP who's above average squeamish says no, take him to bathroom as he can't handle eating while DS goes for no 2. I go against his wishes and set up as per usual. Rationale being I don't want to change routine in fear of discouraging Potty use. Also, downstairs bathroom is freezing and time was of the essence.
So am I being unreasonable for "crossing DPs line" or am I gross and DS should not use Potty during mealtimes in kitchen/diner.

OP posts:
Catsbreakfast · 02/12/2024 10:57

lifeisforlaying · 02/12/2024 10:40

I don't think it's a massive issue to be honest, it's only a poo!

It’s fucking disgusting is what it is. No one wants a toddlers shit particles I. Their food or smell them
either and that you think this is normal just means you’re probably as disgusting. 🤮

Catsbreakfast · 02/12/2024 10:57

Wow, this is just vile. Some people
really Have no standards it seems. Please don’t ever bring anything made in your kitchen to someone else’s house. They don’t need to be inflicted with this filth. 🤮

lifeisforlaying · 02/12/2024 10:40

I don't think it's a massive issue to be honest, it's only a poo!

ItGhoul · 02/12/2024 10:39

It's fucking disgusting for any human being to be shitting next to other human beings who are eating.

Just because it's shit that's coming out of a toddler, that doesn't mean it's somehow different from shit that comes out of an adult. If you wouldn't want to hear/see/smell an adult having a dump next to the dinner table, don't let your child do the same.

LuckySantangelo35 · 02/12/2024 10:27

Mandylovescandy · 01/12/2024 23:41

Wouldn't bother me at all, we must have had potty in kitchen/diner at the start

@Mandylovescandy

really?? It wouldn’t bother you at all? How could it not? Genuinely curious!

LuckySantangelo35 · 02/12/2024 10:24

Caerulea · 02/12/2024 01:15

I think it's lost on a lot of pp that they are simply passing on their own irrational behaviours onto their kids & honestly it's a bit hilarious

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@Caerulea

there is nothing irrational about not wanting to eat a meal whilst someone is having a shit in the same room!!

Caerulea · 02/12/2024 01:15

Mandoidi · 01/12/2024 23:36

All I can think of when I read these comments are the numerous threads about people unable to have a poo anywhere other than at their home.

Edited

I think it's lost on a lot of pp that they are simply passing on their own irrational behaviours onto their kids & honestly it's a bit hilarious

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 02/12/2024 00:25

Sailorchick14 · 01/12/2024 19:13

We had potties in the hallway or lounge. But that was because we didn't have a downstairs loo and when they are first learning don't always leave enough time for stairs.
Would never have it in the same room we were eating though.

Our dining room/lounge is open plan and our hall isn't really big enough for the potty we had (DS had a bad experience with the first 'standard' potty, we ended up with a bigger one that looked different enough from it that DS wasn't worried by it) without being a trip hazard.

I'm sure there were times DS used his potty while we were eating. I don't remember it being an issue.

StrawBeretMoose · 02/12/2024 00:16

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 19:38

It was DP who started putting Potty in kitchen/diner in the first place that's why I think he's being a bit contradictory. Fair enough- Potty will live in the bathroom like it was originally but I strongly believe there needs to be consistency during potty training to get best results. I appreciate im not the norm but I'm a nurse so nothing grosses me out..not even shit during mealtimes 🤣. I regularly look at images of wounds whilst I happily tuck into my sandwich. TMI I know.

Looking at gross images is different, they don’t smell.

It all sounds very rigid about location of the potty, if it’s so important to be consistent then consistently use it in the bathroom. I didn’t mind if it was used in the living room but would rather not smell it while eating. My DH was positively squeamish about the smell generally which garnered no sympathy from me so I can empathise with you there.

Ponoka7 · 01/12/2024 23:50

Pippinsdiary · 01/12/2024 21:03

Why is it too early? Mine was potty trained at 20 months… wasn’t a long slog at all so thats not everyones experience

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If people haven't got time to get the child to a downstairs bathroom and the child needs to shit were they are eating, it's too early.

Marblesbackagain · 01/12/2024 23:50

@Fannyanne88 firstly thank you so much for looking after our loved ones.

But yep unfortunately it does mean your tolerance is a billion times our mere mortals. Fully appreciate the logic of your posts but it's a nope here.

Ponoka7 · 01/12/2024 23:48

Fannyanne88 · 01/12/2024 19:38

It was DP who started putting Potty in kitchen/diner in the first place that's why I think he's being a bit contradictory. Fair enough- Potty will live in the bathroom like it was originally but I strongly believe there needs to be consistency during potty training to get best results. I appreciate im not the norm but I'm a nurse so nothing grosses me out..not even shit during mealtimes 🤣. I regularly look at images of wounds whilst I happily tuck into my sandwich. TMI I know.

Do you wipe him and then do that thing of delaying washing your hands, because you aren't in the bathroom? Do you wash shit off your hands in the kitchen sink?

Mandylovescandy · 01/12/2024 23:41

Wouldn't bother me at all, we must have had potty in kitchen/diner at the start

Mandoidi · 01/12/2024 23:36

All I can think of when I read these comments are the numerous threads about people unable to have a poo anywhere other than at their home.

betterangels · 01/12/2024 21:51

That's just gross. Take your son to the bathroom. With DP completely.

RisingSunn · 01/12/2024 21:45

Goinggreymammy · 01/12/2024 21:38

Curious. Do all the people who "think potties are disgusting, we went straight to the toilet" have downstairs toilets? We didn't, my three children all used a potty in the living room for the first while, until they learned to hold on long enough to go upstairs to the bathroom, and to encourage independence (and practically... I was often feeding baby, stair gates on stairs, so they wouldn't have been able to go up).
It wasn't in the kitchen though. In an area close to where they played, between the living room and dining room.

We didn’t have a downstairs toilet at the time.
Just always made the mad dash!

LilacRaven · 01/12/2024 21:43

Quickdraw23 · 01/12/2024 21:34

do some people get desensitised to toilet things when in this phase of parenting? I had a friend who used to change her toddlers nappy in my living/dining room when they stayed over, filling the atmosphere with the poo stench 🤢, more than once this happened just before I was about to serve a meal. I absolutely hated it and found it unhygienic, but felt too embarrassed to ask her to please go upstairs to the bathroom.

I’m expecting my first now and I want to try and really not get into this zone when my time to deal with this comes.

sorry OP, I think yabu; possibly you’re extremely focussed on your goal and have maybe lost touch of what is acceptable. Good luck with the potty training.

Yea I did. I really didn't give a shit ha. When you are asleep deprived and overwhelmed in 'survival' mode I guess all your senses are kinda dumbed. I did have PND mind so I am hoping it isn't the case for everyone.

Candyfloss99 · 01/12/2024 21:42

That's disgusting. Having to eat while hearing and smelling a child go for a shit.

LadyWiddiothethird · 01/12/2024 21:42

@Pippinsdiary Read ALL the OP’s posts before commenting! Thank you!

AegonT · 01/12/2024 21:41

We has the potty in the living room for the first few days if potty traing but never a food prep or serving area! Then the potty moved to the bathroom. They much preferred the privacy of the bathroom for pooping.

Pippinsdiary · 01/12/2024 21:40

SanctusInDistress · 01/12/2024 21:07

the odd child maybe, especially girls, but it’s a fact of nature that boys are ready later and rarely before 3.

I find it hard to believe your was fully trained at 20 months. At what expense I wonder.

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What do you mean at what expense? People are led to believe their kids can’t do it, so they don’t even try.

EmmerdaleFan78 · 01/12/2024 21:39

That’s so gross 🤮 DS should be going in the bathroom!! Is your house so ginormous that he can’t wait until he gets to the potty in the bathroom?

ExhaustedHousewife · 01/12/2024 21:38

Are you the infamous pooh troll I keep reading about? I can't believe you have to ask,you filthy article.

Goinggreymammy · 01/12/2024 21:38

Curious. Do all the people who "think potties are disgusting, we went straight to the toilet" have downstairs toilets? We didn't, my three children all used a potty in the living room for the first while, until they learned to hold on long enough to go upstairs to the bathroom, and to encourage independence (and practically... I was often feeding baby, stair gates on stairs, so they wouldn't have been able to go up).
It wasn't in the kitchen though. In an area close to where they played, between the living room and dining room.

LilacRaven · 01/12/2024 21:37

If you are the one doing all the potty training you do what works for you. If DH doesn't like it he can have his dinner once he is bed or take him to a toilet.

I had two under twos when potty training my eldest and a hyper dog so for safety I had to keep potty in living room as going upstairs to bathroom every 20mins past the dog with two little ones wouldn't have worked. Didn't do any harm, she is able to use bathroom/toilet on her own fine now age 3.