Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband is stupid and aggressive

60 replies

Sockmate123 · 01/12/2024 18:45

Probably wording that wrong.

Beginning to think my husband is just completely thick. Just 3 examples from this weekend....

Went to Christmas tree farm....got on this sleigh thing, girl driving it said do not stand up, signs saying do not stand up, husband stood up to take a video...

Got back to place to pay after we got tree, young guy asked would you like us to put a hole in it for the stand...husband ignored him for the first time, then second and third time told him 'yes ill hold it for you' 🙄🙄 he has no hearing difficulties just doesn't listen.

Then my son this evening said Dad got lost taking me to my match yesterday....this was a HOME match that is 3km from our house...there is a big huge well known hotel right beside the pitch. Son has had 15 matches there this season and he still got lost going there yesterday. He said his Google maps didn't work. Then got up in a temple, flung a door open causing a dent in the wall, roaring and shouting at me to take him to matches in the future (which i will be!!!) They were 12 mins late yesterday, our house is about a 6 min drive from it.

My daughter was crying because she wanted him downstairs to watch us turn on the Christmas lights. He doesn't care he upset her, it's all my fault apparently. I am so sick of him.

For background he has a very demanding job which requires a lot of concentration etc no bother delivering there but absolutely useless at home. My daughter has drama the same time my sons matches are on usually but I guess I'll have to ask my Mum to bring her. I might as well be a single parent.

I am a stickler for good punctuality. Husband is not. I consider it bad manners. He just doesn't care or blames my son for delaying them.

Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Sockmate123 · 01/12/2024 21:28

Any ideas of what I can say to my kids about his behaviour? My daughter is 9 and a sensitive little soul. She is saying to me tonight she doesn't like how Dad is shouting and the atmosphere in the house. I am just telling her that I can only control my behaviour and that I love her very much etc that he is being unreasonable but trying not to badmouth him to the kids either. My youngest just wants me to smooth everything over but I cannot keep doing that. It's giving in to him coinstantly. He never apologises, just gives silent/almost silent treatment and then talks when it suits him.
He is going away Tues with work for 2 nights and I can't wait. I have decided I am not going to have any contact while he is away. Give my head peace. He ignores every call I make to him but likes me to answer his calls immediately because he's so important 🙄🙄

OP posts:
BMW6 · 01/12/2024 20:16

Tell him he's fired.

Normallynumb · 01/12/2024 20:15

You've said it yourself " I might as well be a single parent" So do think very seriously if his anger and incompetence is what you want to subject DC to.
He can control his outbursts, he just done care enough to.
I realise it's not the best time for you now but you will provide well enough for you and DC by yourself if the time is right

Rocksaltrita · 01/12/2024 20:01

He sounds like a knob, goodbye to him.

Sockmate123 · 01/12/2024 19:59

Always a bit like this but was very thoughtful, romantic, funny. He takes very little responsibility for the children. He would struggle to even know what activities they do etc. Football was the only thing he was 'helping out' with. He refuses to address his incompetence, he prefers to lash out that it's all my/kids fault. He works away alot. He provides well for us financially.

OP posts:
Ace56 · 01/12/2024 19:52

Thepeopleversuswork · 01/12/2024 18:48

Leave him. There is no point to him.

Do you work? Can you afford to leave now?

Agree with this. What value does he add to yours and your children’s lives? Has he always been like this, how was he when you first met him?

Sockmate123 · 01/12/2024 19:14

Teasforfears · 01/12/2024 18:49

It’s just weaponised incompetence. He’s a dick.

You have just explained it precisely. Weaponised incompetence. I never heard that phrase before.

OP posts:
Sockmate123 · 01/12/2024 19:14

Thepeopleversuswork · 01/12/2024 18:48

Leave him. There is no point to him.

Do you work? Can you afford to leave now?

I have just taken a career break so not really unfortunately. He just blames it all on me, stop nagging me etc

OP posts:
Teasforfears · 01/12/2024 18:49

It’s just weaponised incompetence. He’s a dick.

Thepeopleversuswork · 01/12/2024 18:48

Leave him. There is no point to him.

Do you work? Can you afford to leave now?

Swipe left for the next trending thread