Toddler Screen Time

@Gmary22 my little one doesn't watch TV, but I think you're doing a great job and shouldn't worry

Yes it is recommended that kids don't have screen time before 2. But it is also recommended that kids are looked after at home by their primary caregiver until 2. And plenty of people saying that you shouldn't let your kid watch TV will be putting their child in nursery.

Your LO is watching one hour of TV - that means that they are having one-to-one time with you for ALL the other hours that they are awake. That is much better for development (according to the experts) than a child who spends 7 hours in nursery and no time watching TV

(My child goes to nursery two mornings a week)

@Gmary22 invest in a playpen and a xylophone, a big brio train set, stacking cups, a shape sorter, just so you have somewhere to put her while you are making dinner of going to the bathroom.

With first borns it is so easy to be in their face trying to entertain them constantly. I did this and my first is still in constant need if being entertained. My second is far more chilled out because there were countless times I had to deal with their older sibling trying to take off their poopy nappy or climbing on something they shouldn't be climbing on so you have to pop down the one who can't walk and get into mischief for 5 minutes so you can deal with the 2 year old whirlwind. My second is far more able to entertain himself now than my firstborn.

Both had tv when young for a similar amount of time as yours and both are happy and bright.

I think you’re fine personally! Being a sahm is a tough job - I’m still predominantly a sahm to my 3.5 year old (though she does a bit of time at nursery now) and it’s a privilege that I love and pour a lot of time and energy into but we’re entitled to a lunch break and the time to do other things as well!

I reckon that my daughter probably has the upper end of screen time for her age but like you’ve said that’s after we’ve done a class together/the library/museum/playground/bike ride. I find a lot of people who say their child has none or very little screen time are also picking them up from nursery quite late in the day so don’t have as much time to fill! Again, not saying either situation is better or worse, just different. I reckon the extra screen time is probably the pay off.

Also you know your child the best and if you noticed it having a detrimental effect on their behaviour that you could always step in and adjust that. They’re often only half watching anyway! Completely appreciate those who are anti screen time, we all make our choices as parents, but it wasn’t a hill I was willing to die on.

Op, I'm also a SAHM with a 13 month old.

What has helped is organisation and planning my day well.

You keep saying you don't get a break - does your child nap? What time do they go to bed? Naptime & After bedtime is your break :). Do chores when they're awake or when your husband comes home.

I would let her have that small amount of screen time. Just be careful, as half an hour can easily turn into an hour, and then beyond. They can get addicted. I would try to stick to the content that is not overstimulating (keep away from Cocomelon!).
I can't remember when exactly but my son did get a bit of screen time before he was 2. From an early age he was talking, and people were amazed at what he said and knew. A lot of what he knows was learnt from things he watches (he loves sea creatures so learned a lot about them, and he knows many types of dinosaur, for example). His speech was great early on, we'd always talk about what he was watching.
We stay away from tablets - I see so many toddlers glued to them in their pushchairs!

there was a woman with a baby who I would say was around nine months who just sat in her pushchair. Just sat.

You have no idea about that baby though. And whether they able to do more than "sit". What do you expect that baby to do?

Music/story CDs are your friend here. Story tape with music or just musicals, even Disney musicals. But just the sound...We listened to my fair lady, sound of music, fiddler on roof, nursery rhyme tapes, nutcracker. Very stimulating but regulating too. You can sit on the sofa at the same time and it's heaven.
ELC used to do some wonderful fairy story tapes with musical interludes, not sure if they still exist.
Tv should be for older children, learning to listen is really important.

I would say it should be up to the person who is home all day. It's easy to decide a rule when you don't have to apply it. Perhaps he could e.g. clean and batch cook for the freezer so that you don't have to get as much done during the day.

I personally didn't let them see any TV or screens before the recommended age and many years later, they still never watch TV on a school day (we tried it briefly but it affected their sleep). It's more difficult, but not impossible, and gets easier with time. But it's only really possible if the person doing it is convinced by it. You can't apply someone else's ideas if you don't believe in them yourself.

(One of my toddlers was very placid, the other was into everything. The placid one was less independent in terms of playing. Nonetheless, they have both turned out to have high IQs so I don't think high IQ children need TV more than others.)

@binnninI think there's a big difference between a child watching TV and a baby. I think the evidence is fairly clear that screens aren't good for babies.

you had a TV didn't you?

I also smiled at this. I didn't have a TV as a child, nor as an adult for a long time, not because it hadn't been invented yet but just because I didn't want one and because my parents didn't have one, I wasn't in the habit. Have one now, watch it for maybe an hour or two a week.

Agree with @StrawBeretMoose
We have a v intelligent and low sleep needs 5 year old. NT before any one starts wanging on.
I find these threads very amusing with the anti tv brigade.
DH watched a shit ton of tv when he was younger but he also was read to a lot and did various sports ..he has a maths degree, a masters and it's not done him any harm. There's a world of difference between shoving them in front of the tv all day and having an hour of down time.
There's an article on psychology today ref screen time in terms of tv (not phones, iPads etc) where it references how adults will watch tv to relax but apply double standards to children. As long as you are doing plenty of other activities which it sounds like you are then give yourself a break!
I'm a teacher and a senco, our kid watches tv!

I would consider an hour a day A LOT of screen time for a 12month old. She's a baby! Completely different to 4/5/6year olds that people are comparing her to.

Mine had maybe an hour a week at that age- just occasional dancing fruit if I had a bathroom emergency or important phonecall etc. I thought that was pretty bad.

I'm currently expecting no.3 with a 2 and 4 year old. SAHM and yes it is exhausting but we still don't have TV on for an hour a day. Really bad for them, I wouldn't be introducing full tv programmes before 2/3.

Up to you though, isn't it, we all choose what we consider important. It's not going to seriously damage her or anything.

Oh how I wish DC1 ever went to bed at 7!

Some kids are just low sleep needs. We didn’t do screens before about 15 months at which point I returned to work and was exhausted and a bit like OP says watched TV together so I could sit down too.
I only allowed hand held screens while I had a shower (impossible to get up before DC as cosleeping and breastfeeding, spent most of the night latched on). I had a play pen for plonking in, it had lots of abacus style beads and a little clock etc which entertained for all of 2 minutes.

It’s hard @Gmary22 but goes by in a flash in ways. Hang in there!

I really hate the idea of your DH turning off a show that you'd put on and telling you unilaterally what your DC cannot do.

Will he just override you whenever he disagrees with one of your parenting choices?

This would make me very angry indeed.

This. Cbeebies is such a good resource there are fab shows on there. Just put on the live TV they have no choice what comes on. This is totally fine for 15/20 min block. I wouldn't get into dcs using tablets and choosing what tv to watch, or watching you tube etc at this age. Just choose good quality tv , it's fine.

I think you're fine OP.

We're pretty low screens - older DC, and they don't have tablets and TV is weekend only. But I think a couple of half hour sessions a day to let you catch your breath when home with a toddler is fine, he's getting loads of other good stuff from you. I wasn't using TV with mine at that age but that's only because they were at nursery five days a week.

An hour a day isn't crazy, it's two episodes of night garden.

And I think your DH is being a bit cheeky to have these very very high expectations for your parenting when you're a SAHP. Yes the important decisions should be made together, but as the SAHP you should be the one taking the lead in the baby's routine etc.

Likewise with mine. I remember going to a brunch childfree when my DS was about a year old and friend's child of 2 weeks older was just sitting in a highchair playing with toys or cuddling her mum. My DS wouldn't do that since about 6 months. I was really surprised. 2 hours and she never grumbled or got bored once.
All children are different, obviously! I feel no shame in claiming much needed rest when pregnant or looking after baby DD to stick DS in front of TV for 30 mins. The whole rest of the day we're doing activities too.

My 2 year old will have a little watch and we chat about it, then do something else for 2mins, then have a little watch again. He's neither ignoring it completely, not sat there glued to the screen. I was only commenting so the OP knew other parents will put the telly on for a bit of background noise / distraction / a break from rotating toys around. It really doesn't matter.

Mine would howl, immediately 😂

The Julia Donaldson films are lovely but unless I have an exceptionally slow toddler (I don’t think I do) I doubt that they would be able to follow much under the age of two.

My 16 month old watches Ms Rachel, she also likes Teletubbies, Twirlywoos, Something Special and Moon and Me. There’s no way she could follow anything like Bluey or Numberblocks.

My DH occasionally voiced similar things which I shut down. Then he started looking after both children and realised how useful and much needed that down time is, and apologised for his comments months earlier!
When I was pregnant and struggling is when I started using TV for my son, so about 15 months I think. I also adopted a rule of resting when he did, and only doing chores when he was awake pottering about. I tried to get him involved as much as possible even if it took twice as long, who cares, hoovering and sweeping was our activity of choice that afternoon.
I wonder if you could reach a compromise with DH on types of programme and duration, OP. For instance the intensely American accented Ms Rachel I do not allow because I don't want my children speaking like that. My toddler's pronunciation isn't great as it is, I don't want him confused. We exclusively watch iPlayer Cbeebies and I try to choose programmes which are less full on stimulating and slower paced. Eg Julia Donaldson films like Gruffalo or Tabby McTat, Vegesaurs, Peter Rabbit, Patchwork Pals, Bing.
I think you should get DH to do some more solo days with your DD too, you're totally right that he just won't appreciate how constant it is and also you're always there being ultimately responsible so he won't bother to step up.

Think it depends on your child and routine. DD1 was so chilled and relaxed. She didn't watch TV at all until she was about 2.5 years old and dropped her nap. She used to watch about 30 minutes before tea.
DD2 was opposite and really hard work when she was young so we did use the TV more probably from younger than 1 as well.
DS has never really watched TV. He was at nursery in the week and we're often out at weekends. Now he is doing a reduced timetable at school we do put the TV on but it's hit and miss if he'll watch it. He prefers to be outside most of the time.
So depends non your child. I'm not anti TV at all and don't see anything wrong with a bit of chill out time. If DH doesn't like it he can entertain her (and not let her grab your laptop)!

I really wouldn’t over worry. My middle child was glued to cartoons for years, he wouldn’t even hear you speak to him. Yet he left school with top results, applied to Oxbridge and on track for a 1st next summer with a career already sorted with a graduate job in the bag. Both mine were watching TV at 1. DD is also planning to apply to oxbridge next year. Seriously has done none of them any harm at all. Needs must sometimes, he’s being OTT. Given he’s not the one entertaining a grumpy child half the time.