To expect my SIL to keep her aggressive cat away during Xmas?

I'm a single cat lady with two cats - I get a catsitter over Christmas for two visits a day!
SIL is clearly mentally unwell, if she wanted solutions she'd come up with some. The cat would probably relish some time away from her. MIL is a manipulative twat. Have a lovely peaceful Christmas.

Tin foil is better

My cats were terrified

I'm sorry op , it's such a bloody mess and it really doesn't need to be

Exactly

I'm sharing the Reddit boat rocking story because it feels apt for the SIL situation. Long but pertinent.

Don't rock the boat.
I've been thinking about this phrase a lot lately, about how unfair it is. Because we aren't the ones rocking the boat. It's the crazy lady jumping up and down and running side to side. Not the one sitting in the corner quietly not giving a fuck.

At some point in her youth, Mum/MIL gave the boat a little nudge. And look how everyone jumped to steady the boat! So she does it again, and again. Soon her family is in the habit of swaying to counteract the crazy. She moves left, they move right, balance is restored (temporarily). Life goes on. People move on to boats of their own.

The boat-rocker can't survive in a boat by herself. She's never had to face the consequences of her rocking. She'll tip over. So she finds an enabler: someone so proud of his boat-steadying skills that he secretly (or not so secretly) lives for the rocking.

The boat-rocker escalates. The boat-steadier can't manage alone, but can't let the boat tip. After all, he's the best boat-steadier ever, and that can't be true if his boat capsizes, so therefore his boat can't capsize. How can they fix the situation?

Ballast!
And the next generation of boat-steadiers is born.

A born boat-steadier doesn't know what solid ground feels like. He's so used to the constant swaying that anything else feels wrong and he'll fall over. There's a good chance the boat-rocker never taught him to swim either. He'll jump at the slightest twitch like his life depends on it, because it did .

When you're in their boat, you're expected to help steady it. When you decline, the other boat-steadiers get resentful. Look at you, just sitting there while they do all the work! They don't see that you aren't the one making the boat rock. They might not even see the life rafts available for them to get out. All they know is that the boat can't be allowed to tip, and you're not helping.

Now you and your DH get a boat of your own. With him not there, the balance of the boat changes. The remaining boat-steadiers have to work even harder.
While a rocking boat is most concerning to those inside, it does cause ripples. The nearby boats start to worry. They're getting splashed! Somebody do something!

So the flying monkeys are dispatched. Can't you and DH see how much better it is for everyone (else) if you just get back on the boat and keep it steady? It would make their lives so much easier.

You know what would be easier? If they all just chucked the bitch overboard.

You will get there and she’ll promise to put the cat in its own room, but when push comes to shove she’ll burst into tears and refuse to do it. Then there will be a massive teary drama in the middle of Christmas Day.

And the cat can't be separated from SIL
does she not go out to work or vet leave her house?

Just been reading the last lot of posts and concluded that SIL has taken over everyone's headspace from November and up to and beyond Xmas Day.
Its clear how much this is stressing out both you and your DH and its actually causing stress between you as well.

Its up to PILs how much they want to pander to her.

But you don't have to.

Its not fair on your DC to have you both subjected to this stress just because there's a public holiday coming up. Christmas for kids should be full of fun and anticipation - you won't get this time when they are relatively young back again. Don't let inflexible people ruin this time with your children.

PILs and SIL are being utterly controlling.

They are not leaving you any option other than complying with their wishes.

I think you have to weigh up the option of saying no to Christmas visit full stop, stay at home and offer pils a visit in January, and let the flak fall where it may,
or agree to put up with the cat scratch your kids again. (she's not even agreeing to put it in another room whilst you eat?)

I know you've posted an update but if you do decide to travel to the inlaws house, this is the only way to deal with the situation should SiL's cat be there in the end.
Turn around and go home.

Make sure you have food for yourselves in your freezer at home should you decide to do this as you still want to have a Christmas but I'd make sure it's a Christmas on your terms, not theirs.

Put so much better than I managed!

This is the only sensible solution.

I was a bloody wreck when I was married & I'm infinitely better as a single, childfree cat mum (for all the ‘no wonder she’s single’ comments).

And because I love my cat so much, I wouldn’t dream of taking her to anyone else’s house when she could be comfortably at home with her fabulous pet sitter visiting twice a day.

SIL must realise that if her cat behaves differently at Christmas, that shows how stressed she is. She’s obviously not putting her cat first.

Make it his problem. He needs to know that you do not appreciate him putting a cat above the safety of your kids.

And don't go. Why spend time with people who care so little about the safety of your kids.

Just get one of those plug in cat things which chills them. I think it’s called feelaway or something. It’s magic. Get a spray too

Agreed with Brefugee here. This is hysteria.

Quite. Either you and the children stay home, or you send him on with them to deal with the cat. Your sister in law sounds like a lot of work, I can understand why she's found herself alone.

Or if you must go, take a water pistol, or spray bottle and spray at the cat.

I've taken my cats with me to my parents' house many times - but it was familiar to them, and they didn't mind it at all. But neither of them liked big gatherings, and would steer well clear of family Christmas crowds.

@juiceboxjuggle

What is the outcome of MIL's late night journey to SIL's last night ?

I'd go but insist in advance the cat stays in a different room while the kids are there. It's a compromise

Trust us on this, @Toptops; SIL clearly doesn't want "a compromise" so there are really only two alternatives:

1. SIL spends day stropping and howling because her baby's shut away
2. Cat ricochets around with teeth and claws akimbo

Which is why so many of us have suggested simply not going - even those of us whose cats disappear behind the sofa whenever anyone calls, only deigning to grace visitors with their attention when they've been about 6 times

Here you go Rhaidimiddim: over to you to get the cat into them (and to assuage SIL's hysterics at the very idea)

www.amazon.co.uk/Bekecidi-Superior-Cat-Comfort-Experience%EF%BC%88Blue%EF%BC%89/dp/B0CY4V4YMP/ref=sr_1_3?adgrpid=58905632051&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.8i3mItNqwso62Cn5svQlW_XVDZmBXeFiEdnB3CAregBFCGolEszU7VJLhmHU_TzMngOPxBsGlafEdPEOgeaR_0cS-nfcdwImu1_uu_X12OHKaGfIBJYqRDvSMqRJcgzd1bix3aZHmFD7v0rAGG51oFdVsgjvoSRWLvVf_tnw2F6nh8-MHrRVPqiQH13Tcy3hlc6ibcNnZN0SaOm3AW4y0g9VcrY611z7C3jKNlGxCkTIUq81fm1b3p5jqdNphMy4XbYCJTUA03bvciJGc5dKDOxvpWsR7k-7SbikzpNcg0E.06lp14eNWyIeI0QskqYe74h8vGDmXwb1l1KH2YdCohk&dib_tag=se&hvadid=259040833677&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9193352&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3475545507440853543&hvtargid=kwd-297231256747&hydadcr=28145_1821032&keywords=cat+muzzle&qid=1733168709&sr=8-3

I'd go but insist in advance the cat stays in a different room while the kids are there.
It's a compromise.
There is a pattern of unhealthy behaviour going on but you need to protect your children.