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AIBU?

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To expect my SIL to keep her aggressive cat away during Xmas?

483 replies

juiceboxjuggle · 01/12/2024 17:29

My sister-in-law (SIL), has a cat that’s… let’s just say, difficult. The cat is quite aggressive—she’s bitten me before while I was just sitting on the sofa, scratched my husband simply for sitting too close to her toy, and even leapt at people with claws out from the back of a sofa or armchair. She also has this habit of scratching legs under the table while people are eating. It’s not exactly a relaxing presence.

This Christmas, we’re staying at my parents-in-law’s (PILs) house for two nights, which is non-negotiable with my husband. SIL will also be staying, and, as always, she’ll be bringing her cat. The cat is her world, and last year, when I gently suggested she keep the cat in a separate room during meals, she was really upset. She insists the cat needs to be “free to roam.”

As a result, last Christmas was stressful. Despite my best efforts to keep an eye on my two toddlers, one of them ended up with a big scratch from the cat while swinging their legs under the table—just normal kid behavior. To make matters worse, my husband has also been scratched in the past, simply because the cat was annoyed he wasn’t feeding her.

I’m dreading a repeat of last year and honestly don’t know how to handle this situation. How do I keep my kids safe without upsetting SIL again? I’d love to be able to enjoy a meal without constantly chasing the cat away or worrying about potential injuries. Any advice on how to navigate this?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 01/12/2024 17:36

Spray your feet with Feliway.

juiceboxjuggle · 01/12/2024 17:36

What can I say to her? How do I even phrase it?

DH won't deal with it because his sister was literally in tears last year and his approach is that it's only 3 days / 2 nights, we should keep a close eye on our children, it'll be exhausting but at least peaceful (he avoids conflict like the plague).

For more context, his sister is child free but desperately wanted a child (never met the right man, hasn't dated for years) so she treats the cat like her child and sometimes compares the cat to her child ie "she's my baby, as much as X and Y are yours - how could I shut her out / how can I spend Xmas away from her?!" The PILs also don't intervene because they don't want to upset SIL. Any discussions regarding her cat being aggressive or in fact not equal in importance to a child end in SIL crying.

OP posts:
VeterinaryCareAssistant · 01/12/2024 17:35

Take some Pet Remedy spray and a couple of fresh catnip kick sticks. The cat will be obsessed with these and should be entertained for ages.

It should also help to chill the cat out in a strange home.

CurbsideProphet · 01/12/2024 17:33

Is your husband not bothered that your toddlers / he / you are getting scratched by this horrible cat?

Purreh · 01/12/2024 17:32

Firstly it’s bizarre to bring your cat to stay at someone else’s home, surely. Secondly, while I find this cat hilarious, the presence of children makes it less so. For me it would either be SIL leaves the cat at home or you don’t go.

TotallyTwisted · 01/12/2024 17:32

Oh dear, someone must have left the front door open by accident and the cat got shut out.
I love cats but I wouldn't be putting up with that shit.

DreamyB · 01/12/2024 17:31

As an animal lover, some people are fucking insane. Make your DP take the hardline and say the cat MUST be kept away from your children. They can’t be harmed! x

Hoglet70 · 01/12/2024 17:31

If your DH is happy for his kids to get scratched then let him deal with it.

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