To expect my SIL to keep her aggressive cat away during Xmas?

I presume you'd put measures in place to prevent your cat from assaulting young children though, so you wouldn't face this situation. It's perfectly acceptable to use force in self-defence if an animal is attacking you.

That’s an absolute hard no from me and I have 5 cats no way would I be putting up with that for sake of keeping someone happy your DH needs to step up and tell her that if she insists on bringing the cat then it needs putting in another room while your eating or you won’t be going.

My cat travels with me sometimes, and she is very well behaved - but she isn't welcome everywhere.

Is SiLs cat stressed by unfamiliar environment/people? Try taking a feliway plug in with you, might calm her.
Playpen for the children - or spend time in another room for them.

Failing that - stay home and let DH suffer the cat on his own.

I'd be tempted to suggest a water pistol and kitty gets a blast every time she approaches you or the kids, but really that's unkind and unfair to the cat. Not her fault she has a very stupid owner.

I just wouldn't go. It's not fair to either the cat or your children to put them in a situation where the former is scratching the latter to shreds with the most minor of provocation. Tell your PILs you'll give this one a miss as you've been unable to find a cattery that will take your children over Christmas.

The cat might be stressed or it could just be aggressive. I had one when I was a child who attacked people. Two had to see the doctors, one was my grandmother. To be fair he was a farm cat and enormous, heavy and very muscular.
I'm old now and honestly this isn't a problem that has a compromise solution. You can only reach agreements with sensible people and your SIL can't even see sensible in her rear view mirror.
Either feed the cat before you eat or don't go to the family meal. Or get scratched and bear in mind cat scratches and bites are nasty, my Gran was in a bad way for a week or so.

No, I don't think it is your fault tbh. Your DH is prioritising PIL and SIL over you and your DC. Don't internalise the blame. It isn't you.

I hadn’t read your post before I wrote mine but this is exactly the kind of injury I was thinking of. I’m seen horrific videos on social media where a cat has just went wild and pounced on someone.

My friend is partially blind in one eye from a scratch by her grandmothers cat as a young child

@cheddercherry that’s horrific!

I agree Op has a DH problem. That’s even more alarming than his selfish sister.

My friend is partially blind in one eye from a scratch by her grandmothers cat as a young child. It was a beloved family pet and not known to be aggressive (like OP’s SIL cat) but it was wrong place, wrong time for her and she’s had to live with the consequences. Cats can absolutely do some damage.

Well the cat might wish it hadn’t scratched someone’s child after it gets kicked.

OP, your husband is being pathetic. How can he allow your children to be harmed like that? Bear in mind it could be a face/eye scratch next time.

I’d be pulling out and insisting he back me on this . If he doesn’t like conflict why is he ok arguing with you?

Poor cat is probably stressed to hell and very frightened being taken to a strange place with a load of strange people. Cats thrive on familiarity in their environment. Take some cat treats and dangly toys to distract it. Shouting at it and being aggressive towards it will only make it worse. And it's a cat, not a mountain lion.

I wouldn’t dream of taking my cat with me when I go away. Poor thing.

One of my friends was really quite seriously injured by a neighbour's cat that jumped on her head as she was going up the stairs. The scratches were so deep had to have stitches in her head and face and has permanent scars.

Cats absolutely can cause serious damage and you are not being over dramatic with your totally reasonable request that it should be kept away from you and your children!

I actually think you have a bit of a DH problem- how on earth can he take his sisters side over the safety of his own children? His sister cried? Well boo hoo- she sounds like a spoilt self absorbed twat!

Is the cat like this in its own home? Cats are territorial. Maybe the cat is stressed hence why it's being like that. When I leave my cat at the cattery he is very grumpy for the first night. Or when he has to go to the vets. At home he nothing like that.
I think it would be better for the cat (and your family) for it to be left at home.

I’d go for the catnip and sticking endless Dreamies down the cats gullet too.

As an aside, as a dog fan it’s refreshing to see a post about a cat being an absolute arse for once, not that this helps you OP.

What kind of disfunctional family puts a cat's wishes above two small children, plus adults, at risk of being scratched? It's crazy! Who goes visiting with their cat? And what kind of person is unwilling to put the cat in a separate room while family is having a meal? Unbelievable.
Your DH should deal with this to protect his children, but like so many DHs described on here, he may be too wimpy. If he will not ban the cat from the room, if not the house, you will have to make an utimatum OP. Say you are not prepared for your children to be cat scratched again. If cat is there, you and DC won't be. Its completely UR to expect anyone to put up with the cat.

I agree the cat sounds stressed and anxious. That's not the behaviour of a happy and secure cat. It's a pity, but it's not your problem.

I also agree with the pp who says, 'Your husband would rather your kids faces get scratched than grow a back bone', and I would say this to him. He 'avoids conflict' but is fine with you being unhappy and your kids potentially being hurt. I would say this to him too. If he persists with 'it's only three days' shite, then I'd say he is welcome to go but you and the kids won't be.

I'd put mine in fairly thick trousers/socks/slippers and long sleeves, my sister in law is also childfree not really by choice and has little dogs I find annoying, I just mitigate because I love her and want everyone to be happy.

I probably just wouldn't go for Christmas. I wouldn't want to spend my Christmas monitoring two toddlers to make sure they don't get scratched for swinging their legs or running past etc. It's not a relaxing holiday for me, or for them if I'm having to monitor everything like that.

That's absolutely cruel and I would hope no person with an ounce of decency would do that.

Rather than threatening to be an animal abusing prick, take what you'd have spent on SIL's present and buy

1 large Kickaroo toy
1 catnip spray
1 bag of Dreamies

The idea is to encourage the cat to be in the opposite direction of any humans for as much time as possible, so you spike the Kickaroo with extra catnip and chuck it across the room, chuck Dreamies down the hallway just before you sit down to eat, the cat has the best Christmas ever as she's off her tits on drugs and kitty crack snacks and all legs are safe, kicking or otherwise.

I’d leave the kids at home but then Kitty is the boss in our house. Seriously, so sorry, OP. Another unnecessary level of stress at Christmas x

Think that would just make them sick of OP to be honest.

'Avoids conflict'

Such a pleasant way of describing deeply cowardly behaviour which often impacts others negatively.

Your husband would rather your kids faces get scratched than grow a back bone. Nice.