To expect my SIL to keep her aggressive cat away during Xmas?

Before you sit down to eat put orange and lemon peel under your seats. Have a water pistol loaded and ready in your belt, and sprinkle pepper on your socks.

You don't have to 'teach' your small child the cat is the priority, just put them in trouts (hardly unusual) & tell them the cat is grumpy & to stay away from it. Nothing to do with it being a priority FGS 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Tell Sil to grow up and stop being ridiculous. You could also give some strong advice about animal (cat) welfare. Cats hate being moved around different environments and hers is obviuously stressed, which is bd for its health - she is being selfish with her cat as well as her family.
Time for some real life common sense in this family.

And, pretty soon, the lack of a relationship with her brother and his family.

She needs to be told to grow up.

Actually it is. It's perfectly ok to boot a cat that's attacking you to stop it causing further injury. The safety of people, especially children, comes before that of cats in the pecking-order.

This.

It is then on other to suggest compromises to keep your children safe.

Seriously, what if one of them gets a scratch on the faceborveye?

Animal Abuse isn't Big or Clever

its not the cats fault it's being put in a stressful situation & that humans can't set their boundaries.

Yeah she’d probably say “well everyone’s happy now” 😂 while the kids sit there miserable and sweltering in their protective “armour”. Ugh she sounds awful 😆

How about those plug in things that people use for pets when there is fireworks outside. They are meant to calm them. Could you plug some in at your in laws especially where you eat and sit.

Agree with asking your sister-in-law how she would take to your children hurting her cat. If no one is going to tackle the issue directly then dress the children in robust jeans and boots sprayed with cat repellent?

I am a cat lover and have 2 cats and this cats behaviour is really unusual. It sounds like the cats rules the roost and wasn't taught appropriate behaviour as a kitten (things such as no playing with hands only toys or told a firm no when they scratched hands etc when playing). All kittens naturally play and scratch but do need teaching. Cats are normally very clever animals and can learn quickly what the house rules are. None of my cats would ever behave like that. The worst one does is glare at you and turn her back in a huff occasionally.

Personally I wouldn't be going. Cat scratches are nasty and cat bites are particularly dirty and can become infected easily. As your SIL wont keep her cat away from your kids or in another room you need to decide what's more important your kids not being harmed or keeping the peace and going to your in laws.

Then I would say to your in-laws that this year you are prioritising SIL. Poor love should be able to spend Christmas with her “fur-baby” without the stress of you and your children. Therefore, you will spend this Christmas at home and you hope they enjoy their time with their “fur grand baby”. Happy holidays. You’ll send a card.

If the kids turned up in full on bodysuits and layers and balaclavas, that might be sufficient to get the point across to SIL. Or maybe she'd think it was an acceptable compromise 😂.

Cats don't like change , it should stay in its house.. very odd to take it around with you! Some cats love to attack moving things for fun but also it's probably unsettled by the change of environment!

I'd just go "Ouch!" very loudly every time the cat hurt me. And if it scratched my DC - well, I'd be making a very big fuss.

And I rarely make a fuss about that sort of thing.

This is an excellent, thoughtful post - take presents for the cat (enough to give it one each day) which should make SIL happy, and keep the cat happy. I would also find something to spay on your kids to discourage it - they don’t like citrus smells, so maybe some nice perfume or lemon scented hand cream?

Your SIL is batshit not treating her cat properly and endangering everyone especially little children in the process. Cat scratches and bites are known for turning nasty. It’s not fair on the cat or the family and if a discussion with her goes no where then refuse to go it’s potty

I've not rtft so someone may have already said this but cats are very territorial and do not like being away from their home and their own space so this won't be helping the situation at all. Could you somehow drop this into conversation with your sil? As a cat lover surely sil should know this anyway. Absolutely not on that she allows the cat to savage everyone and ruin Christmas!
What is the cat like in its own home?

Exactly and even practically speaking this advice it’s just not helpful seeing as cats can and do scratch faces too- or should the kids be wearing balaclavas??

How can they “keep away” from the cat if the SIL demands the cat is allowed to roam free?

Are they meant to run from the table? Even if they did, I’m sure a cat is faster!

Could you turn her treating the cat as a child to your benefit? What consequence would she expect if one of your children hurt the cat? Time out? Naughty step? Surely the same needs to happen to the cat…

I’d be asking DH why he thinks his sisters feelings are more important than the physical wellbeing of his children.

Well I wouldn't be teaching my DC a cat coming is the priority so they need to wear trousers and socks and be ready to run away from an aggressive cat (on Christmas day, where many prioritise the children in their family)

Maybe if it's a Lion, but an adult booting a domestic cat is NEVER acceptable.

How far away does the cat live? Can she pop home and feed it?

You need to approach it sooner rather than later. Otherwise it will encroach too much on Christmas Day.

I would pretend that my child was petrified of being scratched and felt anxious about going. White lie, but heck, she sounds like a fruit loop.

Cats hate new places, no wonder it's so stressed!