To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

They are a nice thing for the children it's when the parents get involved the whole thing becomes a ball ache. Complaining about who got what part, complaining they are on during the day, complaining they are in in the evening, considering giving up a whole career because they can't go to see it etc etc. They should just do a Nativity and perform it to the other children in the school or invite local Residential Home residents like my kids school used to do.

Presumably you wouldn't object if all the teachers at your child's school who have school-age children themselves were to phone in sick, so that your child's nativity play has to be cancelled.

That's a real shame for you OP.

When I was teaching and DS1 was in nativities, my lovely HT would allow me the couple of hours off, paid!

That’s a bit harsh, many people see them as a right of passage.
And the children mostly enjoy doing them.

My school (secondary) used to run on goodwill and flexibility. New head, new SLT - everything is by the book. Which means that staff have responded in kind and it's increasingly hard to get anyone to volunteer to do 'extra' stuff like trips and clubs. One of the reasons I am now planning on retiring sooner rather than later.

I feel sorry for you OP thinking that a primary nativity is such a big deal when it isn’t. I wish they’d stop doing them tbh as they’re such a waste of time and effort in my view.

I was a teacher and missed the nativity play and various harvest festivals etc. My mother usually stood in for me though DH went once or twice. TBH, my children couldn’t have cared less. They knew I worked to bring more money into the house and could see how it made life easier.

Whilst your first paragraph is absolutely correct, re the second one, a lot has changed in schools attitudes towards this. Teachers are leaving in droves so a lot of schools are now recognising the need for a bit of flexibility towards unpaid leave for stuff like this.

Do you teach drama?

Surely loads of people, not just teachers, can't get time off for nativities? And this is the compromise for being able to have every single holiday off with your child. I work for myself, for the very reason that I want full autonomy over how I spend my time, although I make other compromises, and it costs me, personally, to make sure there is cover for me.

Yes, it's disappointing, but teaching is notorious for not being able to take term time off, so it can't be a surprise

my husband and I are both doctors and there have been years neither of us could go. When we can’t we send granny. None of our kids seemed that bothered whether we were there or not. I know it’s disappointing but you won’t be the only parent who can’t make it.

That's so shit. Our kids school made sure the date of our Nativity didn't clash with a couple of the teachers kids ones so that they could go.

The main school I work at has been really inconsistent on this which has caused a few issues. They put a lot on staff so last year tried to make up for it by allowing unpaid time off for Christmas concerts and sports days. This year however its a black and white "no" to anything like this due to how tight they're running staffing levels and the issue is there are a lot of teachers there with primary aged children. There have been a few "coincidental" absences for this which obviously looks bad but I can also understand the confusion around some allowances last year but not this year. Lots of schools are realising that you have to allow for some stuff like this but then others don't.

Very short sighted of them! Hope you don't offer to lead any after school clubs, trips, evening events for the children at your school. Why is it ok for you to put yourself out for others children but your own children have to miss out on you being there.

They obviously do not value their staff.

It’s not .
Like every job it has its upsides and downsides.
Not being able to go to performances is a downside.
Knowing you will always have Christmas Day and the many other holidays at home is an upside.

I'd leave then. No wonder no one wants to be a teacher it sounds utterly soul destroying

I think it’s a great shame schools only value parental involvement in their own school but don’t have a wider care for it in general. OP how would it work if you teamed up with another parent on your teaching staff and offered to cover for each other for next year? Would your HT be supportive if it didn’t involve them in having to sort it?

Alternatively become fast tracked to headship and use your influence for good to make a less toxic working environment in your school that actually supports fantastic family friendly working practices. Teachers would probably be very drawn to a school with this reputation.

Can you watch the video with your child and make a special evening of it?

Canyou request your DCs school do an evening performance next year?

Oh well yes that as well 😂

It IS this unflexible. It sucks.

The timing of parental leave is to the employers discretion. They can approve but for, as an example, the third week in March 2025.

And there I was thinking it was teaching them a significant story about a key religious festival.

Those same teachers might then appreciate that the school their own children go to put on an evening show so they can attend w/o asking for leave.