To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

Yes needs to be a block of a week, unless your child is SEN

Maybe because I also see it from the other side. Some children are inconsolable, in floods of tears because a parent was unable to attend. It isn't nice to see.
It is great to have summer holidays and Christmas etc.. with my children but actually quite a lot of their holidays are different to mine as I work in a different authority to where their school is so it isnt a given.

@charmonachain I know it’s not the same for you but will your dh be going to the nativity?

Perhaps you should go into school and be honest. You’ve thought about it and decided you will go to your dc’s nativity.
Then if you find yourself looking for a new job research the school well first.

That will be entirely at the discretion of your employer

the statutory entitlement however requires it to be taken in blocks of a week.

Unsympathetic

I have less time off but I use it wisely and I can take a day off here and there just for me to do things that I need to do

Many working parents don't have this option because they use all their AL to cover school holidays.

It’s also much more flexible with time so I can go to my children’s concerts, etc without putting in or out on anyone!

Agree with this. My work affords a great deal of flexibility (I am senior, it hasn't always been this way) and I truly appreciate being able to duck out for such things. They are fewer now DS2 is at secondary, but even things like collecting him a bit late after a football match is something I can easily do.

This is the thing about teachers; we get so little leeway about attending our own children's events. It's sad really.

I sympathise OP. DH is a teacher so I understand about missing out on significant events (including not attending a pregnancy scan, resulting in me being alone in tragic circumstances). Our DC are older now and over the years DH has had a lot more quality time with them than I could ever have with my 6 weeks annual leave. I know it’s not much comfort now though unfortunately.

This is one of the reasons why I have teaching for a whole other career. And when I tell people I used to be a primary school teacher they gasp and say oh don’t you miss the school holidays… the answer is simply no ,no I do not, because I would much rather being able to take time off when it suits me. Being a teacher means you are with everyone else’s kids and then when you’re off, you’re with your own which is great, but you don’t get time for yourself. I have less time off but I use it wisely and I can take a day off here and there just for me to do things that I need to do. It’s also much more flexible with time so I can go to my children’s concerts, etc without putting in or out on anyone!

And this is why being a teacher never interested me. I couldn’t imagine having a job that is that restrictive. I’d rather work throughout the year and not have the long holidays and be able to take time when I want it rather than being told what to do. I am sure that is what contributes to there being teenager shortages alongside the pay.

It isn't a big deal to a lot of people. Some people place a lot of importance on it other people do not. It's not a 'universal big deal' which is why some people can't understand someone seemingly willing to give up a career over it. Especially when that career means you are guaranteed to be able to spend Christmas, Easter, Summer etc with your child

@EmotionalSupportPotato people are. That's why there is a recruitment and retention crisis. I am selfishly glad that my younger DC has only this year and next of school left and is in a school where staff seem generally to be happy. Lots of pupils are being taught by supply who have limited knowledge of the subject they are teaching.

I voted YANBU for feeling as you do. I missed several of my son's nativity plays when he was younger, was a FT working parent and couldn't always get the time off. It is more common than you think. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I understand how u feel

This is awful. I am a teacher and although I always miss other school events I have always been allowed time off for Natvities.
It would only mean covering an hour. I would remind them of this whenever they asked for any flexibility, I'd remind them whenever some bullshit wellbeing box ticking affair took place.
I would maybe ask governors? It is worth a try.
Just because you are a teacher shouldn't mean you have to miss out on important events like this. I don't understand anyone on here pretending it isn't a big deal.

Will the performance be videoed so you atleast get to watch it in some way? I know many schools do not video or allow parents to video or photograph due to data protection which was the case with my own dcs primary school. which was a shame but I totally understand why they didn't allow it.

All these schools with very accommodating heads must be very fortunate with their staffing levels. My local school had no flexibility. The senior leadership already covered classes a lot, especially if someone was off sick. There weren’t enough TAs to meet the needs of children with SEN at the best of times. And substitute teachers (for which there was pretty much no budget) were like hen’s teeth.

What really is unfair is the inconsistency between schools because mine absolutely would allow the time for this.

I don’t blame you for ringing in sick next year. How mean not letting you go for an hour to see your baby- honestly, and we wonder why there’s a recruitment crisis!!

my school is very accommodating- our head is a woman and she has 4 children so she’s very human in these situations. But it should be like that across the board.

Why wouldn’t you object to such unprofessional behaviour?

That’s teaching in general nowadays if you ask me.
The more you invite parents in the more trouble you end up with.
The worst part of my day is talking to parents on the gate.