To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

Not a guy

I’ve had to miss parents evenings for staff meetings. It’s on the directed time calendar don’t you know.

Yeah I've done quite a few nativities and I struggle to think of many or any children who haven't had a parent there. This is in London and the home counties, deprieved and affluent areas.

OP, find a different school. I understand the point about not all parents being able to take time off for things like this, but a couple of hours of a teacher’s day is not a life or death situation AND schools are specifically set up for the good of children. In the school where I teach (and my previous one, where I was Head), there would have been no question - of course the teacher much see their own child’s nativity. That way the child is happy (really important for all children, not just our own school’s children) and the teacher is more likely to support another colleague another time, or to go the extra mile when it’s needed. Simply good people management!! I get really cross at some school leaders: kids are the priority!

It's not a race to the bottom. Most people are able to arrange annual leave or an early finish for an event that is important to them or their child, with enough notice and planning. I certainly always did my best to be there and am so glad I didn't tell my children 'that's life.' It doesn't have to be, if it matters to you, in most cases.

To not let you go to a parents evening is just so ridiculous when schools complain about parents not being engaged in their children's education.

I know not everyone in every job can get time off but of all the careers that should be family friendly teaching is one. It's also predominantly women in primary at least and it's often male heads saying no.

There's been a bit in the press about mothers with young children leaving teaching in droves and this must be a factor. Just ridiculously short sighted to lose experienced staff.

The majority of parents working don’t go to school events. I never did I have a 9-5 type job and so I couldn’t go. Too bad that’s life.

Unfortunately the way I see it clearly different to you, anything is clearly round the corner as you prob read the news everyday why miss something so precious with your kids and think back why did I not just take the day off, have we always just to work our arse off constantly and miss out on everything. Anyone could die tomorrow or whenever anything could happen and regret anything think your taking it massively to far Mrs miss out nativity play

But most full time positions in retail are 5 days over 7, unfortunately OP doesn't have the choice to change one of her working days to the weekend.

If it was in the evening, that would require staff to work unpaid out of the goodness of their own heart.

It’s rubbish OP but there are loads of other working parents in the same situation. I know that doesn’t help you not to feel sad but you are far from the only one.

My son’s nativity is at 2pm on a Tuesday. I vividly remember in the 90s that nativities/other shows at my primary school were always in the evening. I can’t remember how late, but I definitely remember having tea at home then walking to school for the play in the dark.

I just find it odd that the hours were much more working-parent-friendly in an era (and also an area) where a really large percentage of families had a SAHM. I think I was one of only two or three kids in my class who had a working mum. Perhaps it’s because it was for the convenience of dads in a society where male convenience was prioritised.

Out of hours wouldn’t be an option for a pre-school anyway.

Ah dont be that guy, we all knew what they meant. It just makes you look petty.

Actually our parental leave policy allows for just this kind of thing. We can put in a request to see a nativity, sports day, go to open day at our childs new school etc. Its at the discretion of our SLT

The reason why we teach is because we like children and we want to do our best for them. So when we are constantly giving up our time unpaid and going above and beyond, being told that's it's the right thing to do for the children, and making up for all the stuff that parents don't do, it's a massive kick in the teeth when we are told we can't attend something that's important to us and we know is the right thing to do as a parent. We see everyday how parents being uninvolved in school life affects their children.
I was told I couldn't attend my daughter's parents eve because it clashed with a staff meeting. It properly pissed me off. I get your frustration OP.

Yep, every year for our Year six children’s evening performance. I would cover the class for the morning/afternoon if SLT authorised it.

Not always. December is often a black out month for holidays, especially if you work in retail.

They can book holiday.

Calling in sick is ridiculous

Lots of people who do jobs other than teaching can't always make their kids nativity. That's life as a working parent

Well then I'd just use the same line everytime they ask for extra help etc. 'That won't be happening, I've put a stop to all extra help or favours as it's never returned" - no apology, no backing down, blunt and straight to the point and hopefully they will realise how unreasonable they are being.

a273 · Today 19:32

To give the teachers more work and extra hours to add on to their already long day. I'm not a teacher but have the greatest respect for them and think they do more than enough without any thanks. Also speaking from experience, my child is 5, just started school and I couldn't think of anything worse than dragging her out after dinner to go to something like this, she wants her bed.

Honestly, I would call in sick, who cares if it's obvious? They can't prove it even if they strongly suspect, maybe take the following day off too to rub it in a bit.

To give the teachers more work and extra hours to add on to their already long day. I'm not a teacher but have the greatest respect for them and think they do more than enough without any thanks. Also speaking from experience, my child is 5, just started school and I couldn't think of anything worse than dragging her out after dinner to go to something like this, she wants her bed.

I'm not sure what to do about my own child's Christmas performance (can potentially use 2 wellbeing hours but would get to work just after the 2 hours runs out 😭). Teaching is the terrible for this, honestly 😓 I'm sorry. And it depends on the school. I've worked for some Heads who are very amenable to letting you go, but current school is unpaid leave only.

This is so sad to me that there are schools like this. I teach in a small village school and am able to leave early one afternoon to go to see my DS in his Christmas assembly in a couple of weeks' time. My school see it as fair, as I'll be at school until about 7pm the following night for our Key Stage Christmas performance, so very much give and take. Why can't all schools see this?!