To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

Reading through this and find it so sad. I have worked in primary schools for many years. People saying it’s only a nativity, really don’t get it. These are the things you remember and, more importantly, children (particularly younger children) get very upset if their parents don’t turn up. It is heartbreaking watching a child looking to see if there is someone to watch them. I never missed my children’s nativities/plays as my head/colleagues were always happy to cover for me (as I was gor them). As a head, I have always made sure that my staff never missed out. Teachers put so much into these events, awful if some can’t attend their own children’s.

To save you the trip:

Some woman get's told she's having a baby, gets to a hotel but they overbooked the rooms so she pops it out in a stable. Lot's of visitors including shepherds, wise men, camels, some times penguins, and angels. Big star, everybody happy despite baby getting pretty weird presents.

If her school finds out then this would be disciplinary behaviour.
As disappointing as it is, as a teacher (or any professional I assume) you cannot lie about absence.

I am sorry the OP is in a school that is unwilling to support staff watching their own children as I am sure they would expect parental support at their own school.
Hope someone from the family managed to attend and the show went well.

But it is causing stress.

Every situation is different. My DH works an hour away and could make it easier on himself if he worked locally.

Been there, can dad or grandparents or auntie go?

You sound surprised. Hunbelievable. And as for pulling a sickie? Gross misconduct. It's only a nativity play full of screaming babies and other parents jockeying for the best position. I'd happily stay at work.

How times change. My DC were at school in the 80s and 90s. The Nativity play - a very important event in an RC school - performed by Year 1, took place c. 6.30 p.m. Children were brought by their parents (every child had a part) who maybe had provided a costume. The Nativity was followed by the Juniors' play, something like 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' (this song has RC connections around the sacrament), which involved music and dancing. Almost every parent was able to attend. We didn't put 5-year-olds to bed before about 7.30 in those far off days - mine had 'tea' after school and dinner later (7-ish) most days.
The teachers were not so burdened with paperwork, of course.

I am a teacher and been to all my 3 kids nativities and Christmas shows over the years. My HT has always let me have the time off. It's not like it's the whole day, only a couple of hours.

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes teaching a non-flexible career and why so many woman leave after having children.

DS2 turned up the night before DS1 was Joseph in his reception nativity. I've never forgiven DS2 - "Joseph" is now 21

Anyway, back to the question - it sucks op!! I no longer do term time only work, but it was so hard missing out when I did. Fortunately I worked somewhere where they'd try to make it work, but it didn't always

I grew up with parents never being able to attend these things - I understand it's upsetting but honestly, it's fine. Your child's dad will be there and they won't remember that you weren't.

Exactly this. Never ever ever lie about these things as it will only catch you out in the end. There is no way you go to another school at a nativity and no one knows you, your head, someone else at the school etc.

Next time I would just say I have an appointment and leave it at that.

The nativity is bit so of course the OP is upset- i think some posters have been unkind. Yes teachers get holidays but I’d want my own children’s teachers to be able to get doctors appointments or see their child’s nativity if at all possible.

@charmonachain unfortunately the working parent guilt only increases. There will be concerts, trips with irregular pick/up times, random sport matches. There are lots of things I’ve had to say no to because I don’t have the leave but sports day and nativity have always been possible with annual leave.

The OP has said her husband can attend, it’s not that there is no parent there.

They can request holiday, very different !

Goodness me, it is very worrying that people with this attitude are teaching our children, and truly disgraceful on people who truly suffer with stress !

Probably if it was an hour but it isn’t is it ? Would have taken me and hour an half to get to the school and it finishes at say 3pm it’s half a day

Do you get to spend your 13 weeks of school holidays with your child ? We had to take separate holidays to cover childcare and pay for the overlap. I would far rather miss my child’s nativity than have to put them into a holiday club when their friends are at home with their parents. I hate to sound harsh but when you chose to be a teacher you knew that term time you need to be in school and you also knew you had all the holidays off and I guess that the psd were added up t9 see which was worth it. None of us as parents can have all the time we want with our children we make decisions on all sorts of things looking at the trade off.

i would suggest that if you are at the point of thinking that you would pretend to be sick that you are probably in the wrong job.

Exactly the same here. Both of us teachers so a grandparent would go.
I was at a small school so few staff to cover at all. Dh is at large primary with nearly 40 teachers /TA. They do try and offer it but as most staff have family they could be missing several staff on days when their own school needed them in ie their class performances.

I always used it to support kids in my class who got upset when their parents couldn't get time off. I
I'd say something like 'I know. It's sad. I'm a mammy and I can't get time off work to see DCs play but GP/Aunty/friend is going' . Several times I'd then be asked where did I work! 😂😂

Probably okay for an hour for a nativity.

This is awful. I'm a primary school teacher and my son's nativity is this week. I'm getting time out to watch it no problem. I remember last year one of our teachers daughter's nativity was on the same day as our nativity. She was still able to go and see her daughter as there were enough of us to run the show without her. As teachers and a school we are so thankful for the support parents give us by attending these events and we see how much it means to their children therefore it is extremely hypocritical and short sighted for a principal not to extend the same courtesy to their staff. I'm sorry your principal isn't supportive. You have every right to be annoyed.

Ugh that's really crappy OP. I'm a teacher and my school wouldn't hesitate in terms of letting me go to my child's performance. Poor show from SLT.

I worked for a trust that was awful but teachers were always allowed out for first nativities.
Not support staff though, which is one of the reasons it was awful.

........and that's what this SLT / HT have yet to learn.

They (the school) need to give as well as take, or their staff stop giving.