To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

So why has head said yes to some but no to you ? @charmonachain

So sorry OP :(

As much as I loved watching DS2 play the back end of donkey number 3 perfectly!! He was in the nativity for all of 2 or 3 minutes and now at age 10 he can't remember any of it anyway!!

It seems important at the time, but really it's not!! There will be other shows, events etc.. and your DC will.appreciate your presence more as they get older.

Thankyou for teaching our children. 🙏(For the next important gig, take a day sick! Your class children will appreciate you more when they've had a substitute for the day!!)

That’s rubbish. Many schools do “friendly cover” I have covered colleagues classes for an hour in my free so they can go. We just look at who is free during the 2/3 hours and ask. I always say yes when people ask me!

I was a teacher for many years, now retired. After being told no I couldn't attend my sons school activities a couple of times, I can say I never asked again, I had to lie when I needed to take time off, to see an assembly, a play, a church service, new schools and later university visits.

I sometimes took the whole day off, sometimes an hour or so, i just said I was either ill, had a doctors appointment, car broke down or was in a car jam. I always felt it was ridiculous the Head just said no with no discussion, considering the type of environment we were in.

It was only a few times a year, I worked hard and was never pulled up on it. But I'll always remember seeing my son during those activities. Sorry but I didn't regret it once.

The only time I phoned in sick as a teacher was for my daughter’s first nativity. I knew I wouldn’t get the time off.

Not the point of the thread, but most people get bank holdiays off and these are within the school holidays so if you take them off the 13 weeks it does reduce the holidays a little. Makes it more like 11.5.

Which is ace don't get me wrong!

Sorts us out in the summer holidays and is the only thing keeping most teachers in the profession. I spend most of my Sundays working instead of spending time with my kids so it kind of evens out in the end.
Sorry to derail!

Oh my word understand perfectly, been there. Have you asked for just a couple of hours off say and been refused? Dreadful wellbeing management if so.

It is sad and your head should offer to cover for the couple of hours you’d be away. Any decent people manager would. However you get a quarter of a year off with your child, every bank holiday off, every weekend, every Christmas. You can put them to bed every night. Most parents don’t have that luxury and miss out on a lot so on balance missing nativity is not the end of the world.

OP, gently I think YAB a bit U. Yes, it's rubbish that you miss things like this....but the quid pro quo is that you get all school holidays with your children. That is a HUGE plus that you basically trade in for flexibility in term time.

I will likely make it to my child's nativity but I won't get 13 weeks off a year with them, and will have to pay for expensive childcare to cover half of that time!

Try to keep this in mind - you'll be upset for an afternoon but then happy for 13 whole weeks!

I wasn't responding to the OP.

You are aware that the OP has said her husband can attend aren’t you ?

I personally have never said that, so I can’t speak for them!

It is doesn't really matter what teachers do as there will ALWAYS be a parent who complains. You can't please everyone.
The vast majority of parents enjoy them so it doesn't make sense to not run them at all.
Unfortunately, some children are frequently upset in school due to the (much worse) actions of their parents. This is the tough part of being a teacher. As teachers, we see so much of it I guess we are sensitive to it and really want to avoid upsetting our own kids too if we can help it. Especially when it such an easy thing to fix.

Unfortunately, some parents do not seem to recognise or care that children really do value their parents attendance at such events. It is sad. If it can't be helped then that is life. But it most jobs it can be sorted out.

Like the a poster said earlier you never know what is around the corner and we really should be allowed to put our own families first every now and then.

That sucks OP. I'm so sorry your school are being arseholes. My DS has his first nativity this year (also preschool) and I am so looking forward to it - would be heartbroken if I couldn't go. I hope they relent or you tell them to stick it.

Doesn’t matter time is to precious these days my we boy and girl are both in the nativity this year my son is Joseph and wouldn’t miss it for the world

👏👏👏.

Could you ask a friend with PPA if they will cover your class then go to the head with that solution?

Which is fine but the teachers on here seem to be suggesting that parents non attendance is causing extreme distress to children. Why are schools knowingly exposing children to that? Or maybe they are just a little upset and get over it with no lasting damage in which case why the exaggeration?

And it would also create a lot of problems, parents would go wild in our school if they weren’t able to watch the nativity. And why should those who are available, have to miss out because others aren’t? When it comes to things like this, schools just can’t please everyone and there will always be someone to find something to complain about!

Theres another thread running currently complaining a school doesn't have a Christmas at for every year group....

Community engagement

So don't perform it for parents then. Seems to be this would solve a lot of problems.

But my question is why do they invite parents if parents non attendance causes children such distress? and they must be aware that there will likely always be a few parents who can't attend.

And as for timings you just can’t please everyone.
Do it during the day, and some working parents can’t come. Do it after school, but then we’re still talking 3.30-4.30/5 sort of block where still, a lot of working parents can’t come.
Do it later at night (say, send the kids home as normal around 3.15 but then come back to perform around 6pm) and you’ll get parents complain that they don’t want to have to come back to school, and it’s too much for the little kids after a long day.

From my experience, they ALWAYS perform to the school as well. Usually a dress rehearsal for the other year groups. I think the above poster just meant it’s sad to see the child looking specifically for their parent. But there is always an audience of children!

Genuine question: If it's that devastating for both children and parents to miss Nativities why do schools continue to put them on when obviously not all parents can attend? Why not have the children perform to the rest of the school etc so that no child is traumatised by the lack of parents watching.