To judge mum who smells of alcohol at 10am

I knew an alcoholic mum. She drove her car right through the glass doors of the preschool
And into the lobby. She was that drunk at 9am. Luckily she was late dropping her DC off otherwise she would have killed loads of parents and toddlers waiting in the lobby for the preschool to open. A few weeks after that, she drowned on her own vomit. Luckily her DC has a very nice Dad who does not have a drink problem.

Having experienced this, I would be concerned abput the wellbeing of any other alcoholics and their families.

Is it definitely alcohol or she could be diabetic and have ketones?
You really don’t know enough about this lady to be judging…

I've been suffering with mouth ulcers and I've got a special mouthwash on prescription it reeks of booze.... and I have to use it twice at least a day.... I've been smelling on drink but I'm tea total.... I wouldn't raise it unless there are other visible signs.... or I would get talking to the mum before I thought she's drinking at 10am.

Nobody.is saying its OK to be drunk in charge of a child ,but there is a huge difference in somebody who may smell a bit of stale alcohol from having a few drinks the previous evening and somebody who smells of fresh alcohol and is obviously under the influence.

Do you think their child is neglected? How does the child present?
Do you know that the mum isn’t being supported with alcohol consumption? Do you actually know anything other than she smells of alcohol?
Are you sure the smell isn’t the result of a medical condition?

Exactly. If it's acceptable to drink with kids in the house in the evening why not in the morning?

The OP didn't specify breath in the original post. I know lots of people who work in hospitality that smell of alcohol if they don't have fresh clothes on.

Could it possibly be hand sanitiser. A forner colleague used to reek of alcohol but it was actually because she was constantly washing her hands and spraying herself with sanitiser.

I wouldn't 'judge' a person because you have no idea what is going on in someone's life, but I would certainly be concerned about whether they were drinking and driving.

What on earth is with this thread?!? No smelling of alcohol in the morning even as a once off is not ok. Yes could be a spillage etc but should absolutely still be flagged in case. You should not be drunk in the morning and caring for a child ever. Why do we think thats ok? I hate how normalised problematic drinking has become.

Also shes not calling her fat, alcoholics bloat in clear ways. Maybe youre lucky enough to have never been in close proximity but its a telltale sign that suggests sustained abuse.

If she did just accidentally spill a bit of last nights Chardonnay on her clothes it will be quickly resolved. On one hand everyone gasps as the cases of neglect and abuse when they come out in the paper at the same time everyones saying dont judge a patent actively smelling of alcohol in the morning!?

As a child of an alcoholic, report.

I’d be concerned about the woman and I’d be asking her if she was okay. She could be struggling with mental health issues and self medicating with alcohol. She could be an undiagnosed diabetic. She might be wearing perfume that smells of gin.

If you genuinely believe she has an alcohol problem then report it as a safeguarding concern.

Perhaps the OP will return to confirm whether this is a one off or a regular occurrence?

Could she be someone who works nights and has had a drink in her ' evening'

Why not ask her out for a coffee one morning and ask how she is and if everything's OK?

Maybe talk to her so you can get a better idea of what’s going on before you leap to reporting it. Does she smell of alcohol every day ? Could it be something else ? Does she come across as intoxicated ?

Maybe she had been making her boozy xmas cake / mince pie mix. Maybe she had just slapped on some glycolic skin product after brushing her teeth (smells like vodka on me). Maybe a jamaican rum coffee in the morning, just cos bloody because it's freezing and wet. So many things. If it happens often then worry about it.

The fact that you're judging is telling.
Yes it's a concern but don't be judgy.

The OP didn't think it was a hangover smell, she thought it was a fresh vodka on the cornflakes smell. Very different smells, very different levels of concern.

OP I think you'd be getting different responses if you had worded it 'AIBU to be concerned about ...'
YABU to judge.

Why on earth would this make her breath smell of alcohol?
People who work in hospitality aren't all functional alcoholics and if you were caught drinking before or during a shift in the bar I worked in it was a sackable offence.
Fs.

I had a colleague who reeked of alcohol quite often. She was breath tested as part of our employment protocols on several occasions and was always a reading of zero. She was arrested for drink driving and their reading was also zero on both the roadside breath test and the machine at the station. She showed me the slip of paper read out. After medical investigation it transpired to be a medical issue with ketones.

I wouldn't judge but if you have safeguarding concerns I'd mention it to school in case it is part of a bigger picture of issues. But keep an open mind.

I would wait and see if it happens again, OP. A one-off could actually just mean one late boozy night and as long as she's not driving whilst over the limit I wouldn't be overly concerned.

I don't think you're unreasonable to judge exactly but most people are alcoholics because they're trying to manage something very difficult, either in the now or in the past, so if you do conclude that she's got an alcohol problem I'd try to temper the judgment with some compassion.

Loads of mums drink

Because what OP wanted was for us all to say “Gosh that’s awful, she drank alcohol, you’re sooooo much better than her OP only good mothers behave like some demented mattyrish Stepford wife”