Saying absolutely no way to a short Australian trip

Flew to Australia with a 6 month old - the jet lag is awful!! Lost the first day there sleeping and when I got back I was wiped out for a week - like falling asleep mid afternoon. I was on mat leave, no way could I have been at work normal hours.

Can’t u go as soon as he breaks up, it’s a longer time there, and he’s going to have to do Xmas day there (for 1 year such a sacrifice, not)? Tell him it’s this or nothing, as too exhausting rushing to go on Boxing Day. I bet u will spend half of Xmas day doing last min prep for the trip then anyway, therefore missing out on the ‘Christmassy’ bit. You might as well get all the prep and travel out of the way and enjoy a stress free Xmas day in Oz on the beach 🏖️

Hell no, not for a week. I flew out to NZ with my two when they were 3 and 6 - although they were good on the flights, with an evening flight, 24 hour journey time plus 4 hours transfer in Singapore I had no sleep for 48 hours. Took me a good week to recover from the travel. Kids were okay but still prone to waking at 2/3am for the first 5 days. We went for 5 weeks (first and only trip out there with both of them), no way would I have done that journey for a week. He needs to suck up a hot Christmas once every now and then. Christmas on the beach isn’t so bad…

I’m assuming you live in the uk, not the North Pole. I’m not sure how Christmassy it is by you, but the drizzle in Leeds isn’t quite Christmas card picture worthy 😂

The 3 year old will be absolutely fine. It’s the parents that won’t adjust. No way could I be arsed to just go a week

He's being silly, I've spent quite a few Christmasses in Oz (including 3 as a child) and yes it's different but the novelty of it is exciting, and it never damaged me as a child . We would go the day school finished and return NYD or the second.

Also not sure why there's so much angst about you deciding to go in the first place, if you are happy to go there for visits then that's all that matters! I have family and friends there and it's great that we have a) a reason to visit somewhere we might not otherwise go and b) get free accommodation! It's a shame people would end family relationships based on geography as if that's all it's worth having family for.

I can sort of agree with him in that Christmas somewhere hot wouldn’t feel the same to me, but I really don’t think a shorter trip to Australia is the answer. It either needs to be a longer trip over Christmas and accepting that Christmas looks different those years OR not going

How many times have you taken a 3 year old to Australia for a week??

We can't even manage the trip to DP's family because of the Hell that is trying to catch the last train to Penzance after school finishes and never being sure if we're going to be able to actually get back for work due to weather, strikes, overrunning track works and how I can't move after a 4 hour journey turns into 9 with walking miles between unexpectedly closed stations, never mind pissing around between hemispheres and multiple countries instead of stations.

Fuck that.

This. It's such a bizarre thing to say.

Well if he refuses to accept Christmas in the UK, what’s to discuss? Either you go on Boxing Day and motor through (not my idea of fun, at that time of year it’s what you do out of necessity rather than out of choice), or you don’t. Seeing as you’ll certainly go at other times of year anyway, I don’t see the point of putting yourselves through it at Christmas.

Returning from that kind of trip into the depths of January weather, straight into school and nursery settings and wherever you work, sounds like a recipe for colds, coughs, lower immune system, exhaustion. It’s not the “quick getaway in the sun to sustain you through winter” it seems. Add on inevitable travel delays, especially if you have a stopover, I think it’s hare-brained.

For most people it will signal the end of the relationship when someone moves that far away, even if you're related.

Sorry but this is wrong. I live in Australia and visit Spain every 2-3 years because my oldest son lives there. Living in Australia doesn't mean the end of relationships, it means spending more money on flights and lengthier holidays. When I go back to Spain, I stay at least 3-4 weeks before returning.

What's nuts is coming to Australia from Europe/UK with a small child for a week holiday.

Absolutely not for a week. Too long travelling and too expensive flights for that. Two weeks minimum.

As an aside, if this is to be every other year, are you actually happy to be using that much of your annual leave and family budget on a repeat trip?

Alot of us move to the other side of the world because we meet someone from the other side of the world. You sound very aggressive about it. People's lives are tricky and don't follow a nice little pattern, nor is it always about 'fucking off' and nor does it have to signal the end of a relationship. That's a pretty odd view IMO. We chose to make our joint life in the UK because DH's mother had dementia and his father was struggling to cope. Those are the sorts of decisions people have to make.

FWIW my parents mostly visited us for the past 20 years. Because we made a conscious plan that while they were well enough to travel they would, then when they become frail (which is what they are now) we would do the travelling. So they used to visit us every year and we visit them every 2nd year (barring covid). Now I am visiting twice a year and my DH and Dcs visit once a year.

My relationships with my family in the UK and in Australia are important and I and we do our best with what we have, the time we have and the money we have.

I make this trip regularly and there’s no way I would go with small children for less than ten days.

Your husband is an idiot. Let him go on his own maybe if family finances allow for it? You and DD go on a holiday in term time maybe?

YANBU at ALL. Your DH must have been eating magic mushrooms if he thinks you can do a trip to Australia and back in the space of a week - with a small child especially! You will have jet lag for the first 2-3 days and be really weary and tired. And your child will be still tiny/virtually a toddler, and she won't enjoy it at all.

Your DH's sister is the one who fucked off to the other side of the planet, if she wants to see her family, she can come back to the UK. Right or wrong, my rule of thumb is the one who fucks off and leaves is the one who does the lion's share of the visiting. (And if it's overseas they do it all.) Unless the ones left behind specifically WANT to visit them, which most won't tbf. And I say that as someone who moved away. Albeit only 30 to 40 minutes drive from my family and the place I grew up. I am the one who visits 90% of the time. I don't expect everyone to come out to me when I chose to move.

And like fuck would I ever be visiting anyone in Australia! Apart from if it was any one of my 2 DC. (II doubt they will ever leave the UK though, let alone go that far!) For most people it will signal the end of the relationship when someone moves that far away, even if you're related. The cost of the trip alone is massively offputting for some people (for many it will be impossible to spend that kind of money - multiple 1000s) on popping over to see someone for a week for Christmas.

Your DH is being ridiculous @CapaciousMug

OP, it's almost 22 hours for a direct flight from London to Brisbane with a stopover of 2-3 hours to change planes and crews. Add another 22 hours on the return leg and the week holiday is 5 days dealing with jet lag.

Does your husband have any idea how far Australia is from England?

Is DH's sister bringing her three young children to the UK just for Christmas ? Are they doing a sort of travel tour and including lots of stops or what? Because that sounds mental.

A flight to Australia from here is literally living hell for anyone let alone young children 😬😬

Can you afford business class? Really save up for it? I'd really really strongly advise getting first class rather than economy for this sort of flight especially with a small child. I can't stress this enough.

Then, once you've spent an absolute fortune on the flights there's no point staying in Aus for a short time. You'll need to make the most of it! Have a couple of weeks there at least.

I spend every second Christmas on the Gold Coast. Absolutely wouldn't do it for 10 days with a 3 year old (or probably at all). You need at least two weeks.

I will say though that I don't enjoy Christmas here, it isn't the same at all. I do it because I'm married to an Australian and my kids gp are here, so it's the right thing to do. But it's nothing like a UK Christmas however hard I try. I would much, much, much rather come every second UK summer instead.

Okay I'm not saying you should or that it think it's a good idea. But I lived in Australia for about 24 years. In that time my brother brought his daughter on his own between Christmas and School going back. The first year he did it she was 4, just started reception and it went a bit chaotically. But by the end it was great. She wouldn't be exhausted, she often did surf lessons while here. We even made the trip to Sydney with them sometimes for new year. I will say he always travelled business, he said that being able to sleep on the plane properly made a big difference.
So while I think it's a bit much, it can work.

I will go with "is he on glue?" and I live in Australia.

It's a brutal flight for a one week trip for adults, let alone children.

So for 1 year, your DH can't have Xmas day in a different country? What is he, 5?

Just say it's not worth going on boxing day as Xmas day won't feel like Xmas day anyway when you're preparing to go away, packing, cleaning, putting the bins out, clearing out the fridge etc! That's not very Christmassy is it? Or is he expecting Christmas with all the trimmings, sitting on his arse and for you to do all the pre-holiday crap?

I personally wouldn’t brother for that short time - it would take too much out of me.

I think he’s being daft. HOWEVER it is bloody hot that time of year, particularly with young kids that aren’t used to it. Have you considered going at Easter? Lovely time of year, still hot but not ridiculous and a little less busy.