Saying absolutely no way to a short Australian trip

It’s not just your jet lag, it’s also dealing with a preschooler’s jet lag that’s the killer.

We frequently fly to Australia and this would be a hard no for me with a child that age.

JMO, but I don't see how anyone can have a close relationship with someone, if they only see them for 3 or 4 weeks every 2 to 3 years.

No way would it work for me, and it hasn't worked for many people I know. Doesn't sound like it's working for you really, if you are only seeing your close family members around 3 times in any given decade, for several weeks.

Why do you both want Christmas to be the regular trip if it doesn't work for you? Surely, it'd be easier to just find another time of year for the regular trip, rather than him being unhappy with Christmas in Oz or you all struggling with jetlag for your week trip.

We have twins - we used to fly to Australia from uk every year, sometimes at Christmas, sometimes at Easter. To get most from the trip we would leave the afternoon / evening of the twins last day of school and then fly home to land at 6am the morning of their first day back at school. We’d feed them in the taxi on way back from airport, pop their uniform on at home when we dropped luggage and we would have them at school by 8.45am.

We did this successfully for a number of years until one year my hubby had left the passport with my uk visa in it at home and I had to email school to say they’d be late as I was being detained for a bit to prove my residency.

Twins never complained until they were about 8 said it was too tiring so we move to arriving back day before school started again.

Its really up to the person starting back at work how they think they’ll jet lag will be.

I didn’t bring up expense. And OP says the expense is being covered for them.

Everyone’s different, I guess.

YANBU - I loved visiting Australia but the jet lag and travel is killer and really does take the first couple of days to get over. I also did it before having a child, and that was tough enough. We went for three and a half weeks and being able to adjust to the time difference was needed.

Of course YANBU! I also hate hot Christmas and would never want to do another one so I do get your DH’s POV on that but then I wouldn’t insist on a 24ish hour flight with a preschooler so that I could have my cold Christmas.

Any chance of meeting them half way, say in the Middle East or Singapore or something like that.

I wouldn't travel all that way in the depths of (our) Winter for a week. You'd be meeting yourself coming back ha ha!

Compromise somewhere. Either meet in the middle or go at Easter.

You could of course give DP a Santa outfit and an elf for the shelf, laugh at his childishness and insist on going the minute the schools break up here and stay for longer. No discussion.

No way. Your husband is mad. But he’s not wrong about it not feeling Christmassy. I’ve had many in the southern hemisphere and I find it depressing, I can’t help it I just do. Yes family etc etc, but there’s nothing like a yummy roast, hot Christmas pud and being snuggled on the sofa in front of the tv.

That is nucking futs.

Your DH is dreaming. You will just get through the jetlag to get on the plane again. And, exactly how much parenting would he be doing? Fractious bedtimes? Inconvenient wake up times? Meals when your dc is hungry? Keeping an eye in the little things like sunscreen, bathers dry ready for next time and hat to the ready, drinking properly? Or is he going to have his lovely time while you make it happen for him? After making his proper Christmas lovely for him, too?

You know what? I would be irritated by him, too.

He’s an idiot. I was up this morning for the dawn and opening the windows to the light, the morning air and all the birds waking up is Christmas heaven. Summer clothes and white wine in the sun.

But, then there is https://www.reddit.com/r/brisbane/comments/1h3knmk/brisbane_natives_i_need_your_tips_for_handling/.

Are you saying you'll go multiple times a year as well as at Christmas? We have relatives in Australia, they've been there 5 years and we haven't been yet!

I'd go before Xmas, it's worth sacrificing a little xmasy Ness. Sometimes it's mild here and not very Christmasy feeling anyway. Good luck x

For most people it will signal the end of the relationship when someone moves that far away, even if you're related.

You do know that people find their love and have to pick which country to live in? It’s absolutely heartbreaking to have your parents that far away, and for them to have their child on the other side of the world. You miss out on grandchildren and most other things. My DH recently had to say goodbye to his dad on FaceTime, because there was no way he would get there in time.

It seems daft to assume it won't feel like a proper Christmas before he's tried it, especially when it involves seeing family you won t otherwise see, including DD's cousins.

See if you can get him to do a longer holiday this time, to try it out, and if he really can't bear to do an Australian Christmas next time having given it a good go, you can either stay home or do the shorter trip in future years. At least DD will be older by then.

DH is a teacher, he can't get time off school.

So have I, and it works but I wouldn’t do it again. Plus it’s expensive to go over NY so worth staying longer if possible.

I would always travel rather than not travel, so I've done my share of trips that other people would find a bit off, but I'm not 3! And the 'it won't feel like Christmas' thing actually gives me the ick coming from a grown man.

It won't feel like 'your' Christmas but it still feels like Christmas for millions of other people. Stupid reason.

I was going to ask if he had ever been to Australia before but from your update he clearly has, which makes his plan even more baffling. I am with you, you should go before Christmas if you're going at all. But I wouldn't be committing to doing the trip every other year. Maybe once every 3/4 years. And I love Australia and have spent several Christmases there.

I feel absolutely sick with tiredness for two days every time I fly to Australia. Severe jetlag.

That wasn’t the question. Regardless, I have 6yr old twins – I know exhaustion very intimately. I have also been to Australia for a week and went back to work the day after returning.

Surely a flight on boxing day will ruin Christmas anyway? How can you have lovely relaxed family day whilst thinking about packing, cleaning, making sure the fridges doesn't have food left in it etc?
And you dc will get all the fun presents and then have to leave them behind for 2 weeks
More importantly, where would you stay and what do they want? You can't just decide to invite yourself when it suits you!