Vile text

If you’re on friendly terms, I’d at least let the mum know you’re going to tell the school. You can say a teacher you know advised you this is important for safeguarding other kids (which they have on MN).

You can reassure as far as you and your son are concerned the matter’s over as both she and her son are sorry.

If she’s reasonable, she’ll understand. Just thinking if it were one of my kids who’d sent a message like this, I’d prefer to know if the school was being informed, but would understand.

I agree the really disturbing bit is a 10 year old telling another 10 year old to kill themself. Does make you wonder what’s going through the kid’s head.

Given the nature of the messages, I think you should speak to the other mums and ask them to check their children's phones. It's very unlikely this is his first time writing that sort of message.

A similar thing happened in my son’s primary school in year 6 between two other boys. The school were informed and they did a class assembly on phones and safe usage. They also took the boys out of class to discuss the use of WhatsApp. As soon as they all started secondary school it never happened again. I think there is something about a year 6 class who are starting to test more boundaries and are outgrowing primary school. That seemed to be the issue with my son’s class anyway. So I would report to school as it did help them all.

Dangerous talk is not mean. Its dangerous,end off. Im sorry to sound wound up about this but there is no way I'd allow my son to continue a friendship with a child who is showing signs of being seriously disturbed. It is sad but the situation is for the professionals to deal with. I couldn't sleep at night thinking my son was involved with this family. They all need help if their son is behavng like this.

Nice victim blaming

TikTok and SMedia is definitely one place this comes from.

It sounds like at the very least this little boy is accessing stuff he really shouldn't. Kids swear but that stream of invective sounds as if it's been copied from somewhere IMO.

@JustWondering222 I've seen this sort of message and heard voice notes to this effect from a few 11 year olds. Don't be fooled. They look about 9 in person and know how to play nice and sweet when needed. Do not underestimate how vile kids can be.

I would still be wondering whether an older child (brother? cousin? etc) had in fact sent it and the mum is covering for him precisely because she knows it is a criminal offence but that a 10 year old is going to be dealt with more leniently than a 16 year old?

An excellent idea regarding dumb phones. Young children are not equipt to deal with online possibilities regardless of how much they've been taught. There are predators who use any means to engage with children without the parents knowledge. I'm beginning to think there should be a law against children under 14 having smart phones. There is nothing smart about the possible consequences.

I immediately thought it would be two kids/group of kids playing silly sods -maybe he had a friend over and it was all hilarious at the time, until the reality kicked in the next day. There were a group of village kids here who did something really bloody stupid the other day while messing around at the playing fields. Usually absolutely brilliant kids, great parents. Just a moment of madness and egging on. All very sorrowful and apologetic afterwards. Kids are dicks sometimes. Lesson learned hopefully.
I'd probably see what pans out tomorrow at school and go from there.

It's a safeguarding issue for BOTH children.

I'd definitely raise it with the school - see if you can contact the Headteacher to discuss.
Whilst it is something that happened out of school, it's still bullying and also may be a puzzle piece in any ongoing issues they have regarding the child that sent it. If it's out of character then it's a safeguarding 'watch' item.

I absolutely agree with this. I think in years to come we will look back at kids with smartphones and be absolutely horrified..

You have no idea if there’s a DP or siblings I thought you knew the mum?

Social media is an atrocity.
What is happening in Australia and New Zealand needs to happen here.
We are failing as a society to allow our children to grow up alongside this.

The child who sent this sounds totally unhinged. Tell the school. This needs to be stopped.

Maybe they’re covering? Are there other siblings/dad?

And your son has absolutely no idea what he’s done to warrant this torrent of abuse? And he wasn’t bothered by it? That’s really strange.

If it was out the blue, surely he’d be upset that he’s done something, or that other kids at school would take his ‘friends’ side? All sorts of anguish and emotions that kids that age feel concerning their peers.

If he’s not bothered maybe Thai friend has acted this way before and his behaviour doesn’t seem that odd to him.

Could well be sibling/parent bullying and he’s punching down, but there still must have been a catalyst to justify him unleashing all this vitriol through the phone.

This is a really good point. I'm a police officer and just this week have dealt with no less than 3 incidents of 12 year olds sending nude pictures of themselves to each other. Absolute shit show because when they're out, they're out for anyone to see. Every single parent of these kids don't check their phones and say it's for their 'safety' so I'll be pointing this out next time.