Vile text

Please let the school know and show them the message. If you have a campus police officer also show them. This is serious and it may also be a child protection issue for the other child too

The reason I say school is that they can elevate it to a school issue and have talk about online bullying and safe online practices. They can message parents generally about safe online practices. They can keep an eye on this boy and it will encourage any other parents of kids who receive any form of online bullying to report too.
I can tell you from experience that dealing directly with other parents may not work out well for any of the kids involved. There are some batshit parents out there.

Not only am I concerned for your son as this an upsetting thing to expierence but also for the other child if this is so out of character for him.
My first thought would be another kid playing a cruel joke or to stir the pot between the two. However if this is ruled out I'd be really concerned with what's going on with him. I know people will say it's all about your child, and that's true but safeguarding is everyone's buisness and this child may need help and support from outside his family.
I maybe completely wrong of course, but I'd like to see a child supported and helped if needed.

Ditto
Other children need to be safeguarded against receiving same

OP I've seen weird posts on TTok joking about ' go kill yourself '. It's almost like the full relevance and implications of this aren't entirely understood by some younger brains. I am not excusing it, because it's wrong and concerning.

I've seen it used during gaming as a 'joke' expression.

You're now prepared for the hell that may ensue come secondary where even if yours isn't onSMedia outside of TTok, peers will be.

You'll need to scan the phone daily is my advice now we are dealing with all sorts of horrors.

My conclusion, this stuff is god damn dangerous.

Definitely tell the school.

Sorry this has happened to your son as it can only change the relationship with this friend and dent his trust.

Please please tell the school. This is not about getting the boy into trouble but keeping your son and others safe. And flagging that this child may need help. It can only be a good thing to let them know.

As an aside, I can’t believe the mother hasn’t rung you, esp as she is a friend. It sounds as if she is under-reacting. I would be cooling things right down with their son and with them unless they step up.

You did not do it the wrong way round. You were absolutely right.

I've only read your posts @JustWondering222, so apologies if this has already been suggested, but I wondered if perhaps this boy had been sent the message by someone else, and not knowing what to do about it, simply forwarded it on to your DS, knowing that he would raise it with you. Perhaps he felt really upset, and his first thought was to pass the "upset/scared" feelings on to somebody else? I don't know, it was just something that came to mind - I'm sure the boy's Mum will be having a good look at his phone today anyway, but worth checking to see if this message was sent to him originally.

That’s a different discussion. A smart phone didn’t cause this or make it easier. A text to a dumb phone would have done the same. Or it could have been written on paper. Or spoken.

Shouldn't this level of bullying be a police matter? The fact that you know the bully and his mother don't change the fact that this is extreme bullying.

I started to say poor ! I can't edit!

Agreed. Didn't say it was! Poo

Why have you typed 'breck'?

Breck Bednar was a real person who was murdered and doesn't deserve to be referred to like that.

im glad you are telling the school. For all you know this may not be the first message the child has sent. you already said there is a vulnerable child who could be distressed at something like this.

Don't feel guilty about the other mum. Its a very positive sign that both she and her child have apologised. She is probably glad she knows directly from you, than not knowing at all.
You are not betraying her by telling the school, you could be preventing an escalation of the situation which could have a much greater impact on her child. This needs to be sorted out and you have done all you can. Its good that the school will be taking over the responsibility. It is easier for them to mediate.
I would take a bit of a step back for a while.

Could it be that the boy is upset that they are going to different schools and thinks he might be left behind?

I hope your boy is feeling OK now that you've had an apology

Absolutely. A smartphone is not a good idea for 10 year olds.

I would be very concerned about a 10 year old knowing that sort of language, particularly as some of it is sexual in nature. Please, please inform the school and send them a screenshot of the message so they are aware.

The child is ten. The age of criminal responsibility.

Eh! Dumb phones as a police officer suggested. I think I'd be inclined to take their advice.

Whatever the cause, it’s not acceptable.

Op I work in a school. While I see how much time dealing with these things takes, we absolutely do not want our pupils to be dealing with something like that. Things that happen outside of school never stay outside of school so the teachers need to know.

I would tell the school so they can look out for any bullying or anything else. If you are happy with apology and the other mums punishment then tell the school that. More to just share information?