Vile text

I think you handled it in the optimum way too. One of the key features is that everyone knows for certain what was said and by who. When it comes to resolving these sort of issues this is very important. Much easier to sort out than the he said she said scenario which is what you would be dealing with if you're son had not had the phone.

Definitely tell the school. We were in a simular situation to you when my youngest was in high school but it was on Musically now Tik Tok (videos were being shared and they were aimed at her and some horrible comments). We informed the parents and the school. I hope you get this sorted.

Definitely tell the school and also child protection in the police. Kids have been horribly affected by that type of communication and that child needs to realise there will be serious consequences.

I think you handled the situation perfectly. I would have done the same. My boys also have mobile phones for the same reasons your kids do. They work great for us. As you've said everyone parents they way that works for their family.

Yes I do, eldest is the same age as your ds. No doubt if I didn't you would dismiss my opinion. Maybe you will regardless.

I'm sorry but comparing having frequent on-line access with Grange Hill or mizz is just laughable. The internet access is so clearly why this incident has happened. Many teachers have come on to say they deal with it day in day out.

You say you're comfortable with it, so that's great, but then you also claim to be so shocked about it?

Def inform the school as he may claim your son has sent him similar text, maybe his older brother has sent it not him?

People make mistakes and the boy has a track record of being kind.

She has told school.

I'm in child mental health please tell school. There are safe guarding issues. He could access very traumatising material on his phone or is being exposed to it in another way.

'In my experience many people have a holier than thou attitude and think that just by not giving their children phones they've done all they need to.'

Really? Literally the opposite of my experience. The people that are suspicious of giving smartphones early are those that tend to be the most clued up. Just like the tech giants don't give their kids the tech.

Surely even most schools talk about online safety day in day out these days? I don't claim that they're keeping up with the tech but ours certainly does their best. Can't imagine any 16 year old or indeed any teen going in completely naive. It would be largely impossible in this day and age. Hopefully by that point you've given them the tools and the chance to mature enough to make their own decisions, good or bad. But 9 & 10 year olds? It won't end well.

I would never sneer at anyone who has been sucked into giving a phone early (esp those that did it in the pandemic), you have to be pragmatic and work with the peers of your child, but actively defending it as a good thing is crazy to me.

You sound very level headed and sensible, and the fact your son told you about it is testament to the fact you've taught him well about online safety 👏🏻

Does he play console games with a headset? He could be picking the language up from older people online - they basically verbally abuse and berate each other while playing.

Sounds like you've handled this really well. Hopefully it was a one off and won't be repeated. So worrying that the little boy has that level of aggression and anger in him. Did he say anything about it to your son today?

I think this is very wise. You have handed it over to the professionals - they will have their own processes now to follow. Will you mention that you have shared with the school to the other boy's Mum? Or thought how you will respond if she asks you?

I was just wondering about a child whose parent didn't check their child's phone and where the child was too embarrassed and hurt to mention it.

Perhaps show your son how to screenshot messages, as WhatsApp messages can be deleted by the sender.