Vile text

I wouldn't count on the mother being lovely, parents react really badly sometimes when their child has done something wrong..

What if had been sent via SMS? Or on a piece of paper?

What changes the day of a child's 13th birthday that suddenly makes WhatsApp appropriate?

Definitely tell the school. Tell them in writing. You just don't know what the fall out might be here. You must cover all bases.

My son started secondary school and I feel sick and saddened by the extent of cruelty online. WhatsApp is the worst.

Please don't let your child anywhere near Snapchat or TikTok.

I hate this online world sometimes.

In your email to school you can say you've told the mum but want it kept an eye on. Send them the screenshot in email.

My son is also terrified ref snitching but we just had to over ride it recently for his own safety and emailed the school.

Yes definitely tell the school. I've seen this happen and it's been dealt with swiftly and with consequence and parents have been involved. Quite right too. It's horrible. I hope your boy is OK. How did the other parent respond?

Social media and children leaves them vulnerable to unpleasant stuff like this..
As others have said , absolutely tell the school.

What a revolting text for your son to have received.

I work in a primary school and I would email them the screen shot - explain it has been dealt with but you thought they should know. They can then talk to the class about online bullying etc. Often things like this are part of a wider picture and it could be really helpful for the school to know.

I would also want to delete WhatsApp as it isn't appropriate for 10 year olds but I think now you've started it'll be hard to go back on it without it seeming like a punishment.

Surely you must understand that a 10 year old would not have been exposed to this message if you had not disregarded the age restrictions? This is nothing to do with parenting choices. It's common sense. We have all seen the headlines of dreadful things happening as a result of messages received on social media. There's a reason age restrictions are put in place. You are only in this predicament now as a result of giving him access to a platform he was already deemed by its creators not to be old enough to use. This isn't about complaining to other parents or schools. It's about protecting our children from being exposed to the evils of social media in the first place. Get him some Lego or something. He has a whole lifetime to be dealing with vile messages online.

WhatsApp is basically just a way of sending texts and photos over the internet - it's not really any different to text messages in that respect.

I know that technically they need to be 13 but I don't think it can be compared to traditional social media. And yes, anyone can contact them but the same applies to regular text messages too.

Is there a chance that the ‘friends’ phone was taken by an older dc or someone else, who has used it to send the disgusting messages to try and disrupt the friendships/cause trouble for the child? If its very out of character, I would be trying to think around all the possibilities

I wonder if someone else sent it.

Definitely tell school. Indicates a safeguarding need for the other child.

Sorry what do you expect police and social services to do? The texts are vile but unless he has shared indecent images or broken the law, what can they do? As if social services have the man power to deal with a child sending a text with the word “pussy”.

It's exactly the same in our school. Mid week slows down, Thursday evenings the messages start up for Ridays bring last day of school and the weekend so Fridays can be busy but Mondays especially.

So mucjh of this is lax parenting, they ether don't know (aren't being strict over social media, dont check phones etc) or don't care (Oh there's always falling outs" or "It'll be fine" "They're just being silly") thennifvthere are bigger concerns or a larger incident, teachers / SLT can be out of class / their role for a good chunk of time sorting out social media and or / bullying / behaviour.

Schools are filling in more and more gaps due to poor parenting, it is a big concern bit never seems to be acknowledged officiall... 'm sure most school staff will say the same.

i think tell the school on Monday morning, the text is very disturbing, it may have been from a unsuitable website or person online. the school will have policies in place and information for students about online safety. It could be happening to other children and the school will have a bigger picture.

With a smart phone I can track where my DD and can track her communications from my own phone.

And TBH I don’t think it’s healthy to shield them always from adverse events. Adverse events are part of life, they have to deal with them at some point. My DD having similar happen to her in year 6 like the OP’s son was initially awful for her but has given her a new strength and perspective. It’s not a bad thing in the long run

I would tell the school and also the police and social services, given the sexual nature.

I agree with this. My DC had £10 Nokia burner phones until they were teens.

Please forward the message, in full, to the school, and ask that his class teacher, HoY and any pastoral staff are made aware of its contents and its perpetrator. Your son needs to be protected and this child needs to be taught not to bully before hitting their teens.

Really pleased your son felt confident enough to share this with you. However other children may not feel that way and a tragedy could result. If you make it clear to the school that they need to be careful about how they know about this issue then you definitely should go ahead and tell them. Ok

School, police and social services for me! Absolutely disgusting. Don’t expect the school to do anything which is why I said the police. You can guarantee they are sending this to others and it’s good to have a log of everything. Social services because there’s clearly something off with this child sending the message. I’m so sorry for your son but well done to him for showing you. Makes me so angry and upset that this happens, so many innocent children have taken their own lives after things like this and more action needs to be taken against the children sending these messages

i don’t want to derail the thread, but I worry that giving a child a smartphone is seen as keeping them safe. They are far, far more likely to have an adverse event online or with social media (inc WhatsApp), than they are in the real world. When they’re playing out, they can access a few streets, maybe a park. When they’re online they can access the whole world- and the whole world can access them. It’s really not the answer to child “safety”.

I would strongly urge people with under 14s to consider “dumb phones” rather than smart phones for their kids.

I'd tell school too. Is there anyway the other boys phone has been hacked or an older sibling has got hold of it or anything?

Definitely tell the school

Absolutely this.