Vile text

Wow you must have some higher level of information than the rest of us you don’t know whether the mum has seen it or is trying to find out what happened.

As I said I would go and see the mum or at least phone not just send a message you don’t even know if the kid has had her phone and deleted it.

Call or go round there and then decide anything else will not have a grasp of the situation.

My son and a couple of friends did the same. One child being horribly bullied. They went to the head of year. Perpetrator was given a warning, kicked out of a local football team and sundry other punishments. Parents went to war on his behalf and the little shit carried on bullying where there were no witness.

Tell the school.

Parental controls, limited time and monitoring on your own device mitigates them seeing this. If you do see it, report it.

Those are very extreme examples and again I’m not the kind of scaremongered parent who withholds things in case rate occurrences might happen. I think the kids whose parents strictly limit liberties are the ones who hide things, sneak around and become dishonest. You can’t quell preteen and teen curiosities, no matter how reasonable it is to do so.

Besides, they could just was easily be shown this in person when you’re not around. Sadly you can’t control the actions of others, so don’t think restricting devices means they’re completely safe from being exposed to graphic content.

Several people making the same suggestion. Either way, if he didn’t send it, someone else had access and did, so they need to find who was actually responsible.

Just a thought - could an older sibling have got hold of the phone and sent the text? It's been known to happen.

I don’t think there are any consequences for OP in passing it on, because it’s evidence of an offence. Even if the boy in question didn’t send it, someone else did and it needs to be investigated properly.

Well it seems mum has had her chance. OP messaged her yesterday and has still had no reply. So she’s clearly not that bothered. At the age of ten this boy has committed an offence for which he can be held liable. A bullying and abusive text and encouragement to suicide. I really think it goes beyond the parents, and even the school and the police should be informed, if only so they can scare the living daylights out of the boy and stop this in it’s tracks.

Firstly I am not sure that allowing a ten year old what’s app is a good idea my 15 year old does not have it and does not need it for safely, but that is slightly moot as the safer platforms would have had the same result as he was a friend.

I had a similar issue with my daughter but I would not just send a screenshot and hope for a response, I went straight round there showed the mum what her daughter had sent and she dealt with it straight away. This way there is no hiding behind text you get a true response and can read the person something often lost in typed communication

I would tell the school. Show them the message but don’t pass it on it could cause consequences for you. There is the possibility that the child didn’t actually send it.

Definitely tell school op. Something like this would get you in serious trouble at school, parents called in, pastoral care involved including heavy sanctions and a full heavy hand. Don't worry about the mums feelings here, your ds is priority.

Absolutely have him say you check his phone and tell the school.

This type of behaviour is 100% unacceptable and you need to report to the school.

Your son may not be the only child to have received texts like that.

If it's that foul including encouraging to kill himself, I would be calling 101 for advice.

Not all children will show parents this type of text if they receive it.

Something so vile was premeditated.
It needs to be taken very seriously.

If you tell the school the mum will be cross (I think - if you know her maybe she wouldn't. If my DS had done such a thing I wouldn't be cross if you told the school, but some would). Question is do you think she can deal with it effectively? If yes you could leave it. If no I would definitely go to the school and definitely if anything else happens. Clear safeguarding issues

Tell the school. This is bigger than just letting the parent know. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more going on with this. There's been a lot of online bullying happening at our school and it all stems from Whatsapp.

Sorry but this is exactly why my DC will not be getting smartphones at this age. I'm seeing way too much of this kind of behavior amongst my children's peers (admittedly not as vile as that message which sounds shocking) because of phone use and I'll admit, I genuinely do not get why you'd give a ten year old a smartphone. We were out all the time in the 80s and just about managed without having WhatsApp!

Why is it so difficult to believe that a ten year old could be the culprit ?

Yes, absolutely speak with the school tomorrow. We had exactly the same in one of my dc’s friend groups in Y6. One of the children just went off on a rant at another one, calling her horrible names, telling her to kill herself, etc. Not on WhatsApp btw, just in a text message. They can still have group chats via SMS (there was only 10 of them in the whole year, so we all know each other well and everything is very tightly monitored usually). The school had individual chats with the children involved, also got the whole class together to talk about online behaviour, and sent a letter to parents reiterating the importance of monitoring online safety and behaviour. I think it was a really positive thing for everyone involved.

Which is no excuse not to investigate and get to the bottom of it. If it’s his phone and he didn’t send the text, he should at least have an idea of who else had access to it.

It doesn’t matter. The fact is that an abusive text suggesting suicide was sent from that phone, and it warrants investigation. There is absolutely no excuse not to.

Primary responsibility lies with the parents, yes. And OP has said she advised the other parent of what was happening last night, and there has been no response. And this is one text. We don’t know what else has been happening at the school. But what we do know is that this boy has a friend with SEN and they have fallen out previously. One can only imagine his reaction at reading something similar. As one can only imagine the impact on any child reading a text suggesting that they kill themselves.

The age of criminal responsibility in the UK is ten. Therefore this child has committed an offence. OK no one is suggesting they imprison him for five years at this stage, but the fact remains that he has committed an offence. And a serious one at that.

You should definitely tell school because it is a red flag for safeguarding for a 10yr old telling another child to suck pussy and kill themselves. How does a 10yr old in particular know words like suck pussy unless they have been accessing porn? There needs to be more done here around online safety, bullying online and around communication in general; school would definitely want to know.

FYI WhatsApp have reduced their age limit from 16 to 13, but 10yr olds should not be accessing it.

In case this hasn’t already been suggested, it might not be the owner of the phone who sent the messages. My son’s phone was grabbed by a friend when they were about 13, and the grabber sent an unpleasant message to a third child. Fortunately the offending child’s DM walked in on them arguing about it, and messaged me and the parents of the third child to say what had happened, and hit the roof with her son.

It is possible that someone else has sent the message.

It will be interesting to hear the mums response

Please report to the school. Whether he sent it on purpose, as a joke or let somebody else get hold of his phone, the child needs speaking to about the use of his mobile and messaging.

Don't underestimate the impact of receiving a message telling you to kill yourself. It's not acceptable at all and school / possibly social services needs to be aware. The school will be able to assess whether it needs taking further.
My daughter took an overdose following a very similar message. She's ok now but she was very ill in hospital.