…to be 7 months pregnant at my own destination wedding?

Cancellation insurance..

@FruitPastel54321 So many people will have their opinions but ultimately it boils down to you. Is this the right time for you? Is it not the right time but you’re going to continue with the pregnancy any way?

Either answer is fine and no one can tell you why you can or cannot or should or should not have an abortion.

This is your choice - I would ignore what other people would do and go with your gut.

People have spent ££ to go.

Your guests can still go and have a holiday. But I would think they’d be reluctant to spend money on another wedding of yours so keep that in mind. I would personally go ahead with both the wedding and the pregnancy. 32 weeks is ok to fly and as long as the pregnancy is all going well it should be fine. I’d get another dress though.

Surely people take out cancellation insurance? Deposits would be minimal and the risk you take when you agree to attend these destination weddings. Anything can go wrong.

@Viviennemary what if she can't afford to pay for 20 families deposits? Surely that's totally unrealistic for most people

I'd be annoyed if I was a guest and you cancelled the wedding. You could offer to pay their deposits as they may not have paid the full amount yet. Don't terminate. Either go or cancel the wedding.

Looks like you can do London to Greece via ferry in about 48 hours. The route through the Alps is currently blocked by a landslide but that should be fixed next spring. So you'd get the Eurostar to Paris, then the Paris-Milan train (perfectly nice, beautiful views, I really enjoyed this train).

A stay overnight in Milan, then Milan down to the foot of Italy. I've not done that bit but I would be optimistic for good views. Then an overnight ferry to Greece.

It wouldn't be quick, but if you booked upgraded options (standard premier for Eurostar, business for the Italian trains) then I think you'd have a comfortable and relaxing trip.

It's perfectly okay not to enjoy that sort of thing, but I think it would be possible if you fancied it. I suspect the most difficult bit would be getting to the relevant part of Greece.

https://www.seat61.com/Greece.htm#how-much-does-it-cost

Best of luck, and totally fair enough whatever decision you decide to make - it sounds like a difficult time and you have to balance your family's priorities.

But surely with destination weddings this is the risk involved. They must have taken out cancellation cover and if not they could still go on holiday so all is not lost.
Weddings and the build up are tiring, exciting yes but tiring. I wouldn't want to go through all that including a 4hr flight whilst 7months pregnant.

Congratulations! You absolutely shouldn’t terminate a wanted pregnancy.

How have your previous pregnancies been? If you are prone to difficult pregnancies with lots of monitoring you should cancel plans to be abroad now, obviously. Give your guests lots of time.

If your pregnancies have been straight forward you need to find out ASAP how likely it will be for you to be able to travel. It’ll be very very tight at 32 weeks and not a given. I still probably would cancel as no two pregnancies are the same and the worse thing would be cancelling last minute.

I think you need to be prepared for some guests being annoyed for losing money and leave if you cancel. I wouldn’t expect them to fork out in the future for a rearranged wedding. But I’d rather have the short time annoyance of being out of pocket then knowing a close friend/family member terminated an unwanted pregnancy.

Definitely check to see if you can fly that late, many airlines have restrictions.
Check your travel insurance, I would have thought some companies will increase the price for cover that late in pregnancy.
It seems awful to cancel, especially as many family members and you have already paid. I'm not saying I'd terminate based on the wedding alone, but if your other 2 DC are very young do you want a third?

Food for thought: if you did terminate the pregnancy and went ahead with the destination wedding, would you spend future years looking at your wedding photos with fond memories of the happiness and joy of the week, or the memory of terminating an unfortunately timed pregnancy to achieve it?

I wouldn't terminate a wanted baby for this reason. It would cast a shadow over your wedding. With a fit note you should be ok to fly, or make it a romantic train journey through europe.

I think if your guests ever found out you'd terminated a pregnancy to avoid the potential risk of them loosing money (which could happen anyway because life happens) they'd probably all feel a little sad for you.

As you want a 3rd I wouldn't terminate because of the timing, you will never get another chance with this particular embryo. If you didn't want a third I'd think differently. But that being said it's your body and your choice, I can totally see why you are considering it and there isn't a right or wrong answer here.

I don't think the inconvenient timing of baby three is a good reason to terminate. I hope you can work it out. Going by train sounds a possible plan.

It's perfectly valid to want to terminate for any reason, and this is a whole package of reasons. In your shoes I would terminate, assuming you've had no fertility issues that make getting pregnant hard. The combination of your plans for the year, the impact on other people, your new job and may leave considerations plus I wouldn't want to be abroad at 7 months.

Have your wedding in the uk instead.

You want to have a third baby. It's a wanted child, it's more important than some sunny wedding photos.

People who care about you will understand. They can either postpone their holiday or as a pp said, go anyway and have a lovely joint holiday abroad

Well there's no reason they can't still go snd have their holiday is there? Tbh it will be cheaper and less stressful if they don't have a wedding to attend as well 😆.
It's a fair way ahead, I'm assuming there must be some options to cancel parts of it anyway? I do understand your worry, and realistically if they have already committed time and money to go abroad it might be hard to expect them to come to a UK wedding as well, unless you keep it really simple and not requiring multiple days?

i wouldn’t terminate a baby I wanted because of this. Sorry the timing has made things tricky but you can make it all work.

Get booked into registry office and get married in a lovely outfit in time for Christmas or in the New Year. Have your massive reception party abroad once baby arrives.

You don't necessarily have to fly to Greece. You could take the train/ferry (depending where it is...) will obviously take more time. May not be super comfy when 7mths pregnant - but possible.

I don't know if you CAN fly that late in pregnancy, but unless it's a country with good health care and you can get travel insurance that includes pregnancy I wouldn't want to. Can you imagine if you had complications or a prem labour and were stuck a 4 hour flight from home? I just wouldn't risk it.
You are very early and in my head that would make a termination easier..... but if you know you want a 3rd I'm not sure I could bring my self to prioritise a new job and wedding over it. How old are you? Goe old are your first 2 dc? And are they with the same dad? IF it turned out that this was your last chance, how would you cope? Personally I wouldn't have a big wedding by choice so I'm not a good judge, but I would move the wedding to the UK and sooner if it was me. Workwise- I don't know the legalities, I assume it is fine. I'd feel more guilty if it was a tiny company where it would be really awkward to replace someone again so soon, a big business would have better flexibility I assume.
Would you definitely go back FT after the birth?

That's tough. The baby is the most important part of your decision making though. You need to decide if you are keeping it and everything else will flow from there.

Tricky cause if I was your friend going and had spent out money on your wedding I’d be thrilled you were pregnant but also pissed off about loosing money (assuming your guests won’t get a full refund because there’s no reason they can’t still go) but I’d likely get over it eventually 😂

I think you’d need to consider cancelling the destination wedding full stop if you go ahead with the pregnancy and do something closer to home instead.

I wouldn’t worry about the job apart from not being entitled to full maternity pay potentially depending on your dates

eta i think because of your return date it’s unlikely you’ll get signed off to fly and hopefully you won’t have any issues but if you did you might not feel like flying at all