…to be 7 months pregnant at my own destination wedding?

You may be unable to fly at 32 weeks so you need to look into that sooner rather than later. Also, think about what will happen if you have a complicated pregnancy and deliver early (or late).

I think you need to cancel, unfortunately.

This is one of the many reasons it is selfish to have a destination wedding.

As I indicated earlier, being allowed to fly is not my main worry - Greek healthcare isn't great and if the destination isn't Athens, Thessaloniki or Patras (where there are better hospitals) there is a massive risk to mum and baby if complications occur, especially if they're on an island.

OP, do think long and hard about putting you and your baby at risk by going ahead with the wedding in Greece.

Yes, but on MN it seems to be de rigueur to lie to insurance companies. I'm sure they wouldn't get away with this sort of scenario, though (hopefully).

So this is a surprise pregnancy but not one that is unwanted in itself. Overall, your con list includes the new job timing and the wedding - the pro list is that you have actively discussed wanting a third, you are in a stable relationship with the means to support an expanded family.

The new job is one thing to consider - there’s your employer’s reaction ( but this sort of thing does happen ) there’s the unknown about how the new job is going to work out ie it might go swimmingly but going off on mat leave after a relatively short time is could feel like a personal disruption;OTOH it could not go as well as you hoped and, if you had terminated because of the new start, you could resent any problems that arise.

The wedding - two strands to this, your own financial and emotional investment and the effect on your guests. You have to look at this in terms of sunk cost fallacy: continuing with something that is no longer the right fit because you have already spent money and then needing to continue spending money to make the initial outlay ‘worth’ it. If you continue the pregnancy and keep to the original wedding plan you are going to be large, uncomfortable and not wearing that boned dress anyway ; or you terminate , are wearing the boned dress, you’ve spent more money to achieve the dream wedding - again, things might not be as picture perfect as you hope and you might weigh up every irritation against the big decision you made.

I think you have to take the friends and family out of the equation - they surely haven’t paid everything up front two years out ? . There could be all kinds of reasons for something like this falling through and some may be quietly relieved at not having a holiday around what is essentially a social event.

I wouldn't bet that you will be allowed to fly if you're calculating you would be 32 weeks on return. You could go to your dating scan and be dated say a week or even 2 differently from your dates for example with the hospital saying you're actually 34 weeks then. Would you be able to fly then? Would you even want to? I think I'm quite chilled about pregnancy and risks etc, I've had 3 kids, but I wouldn't want to be abroad/flying home at 34 weeks pregnant, that would be too late for me. My nephew was born unexpectedly at that gestation after a healthy, low risk pregnancy.

I also don't think I'd terminate in this situation if I definitely wanted a third child. I'd cancel the wedding abroad, apologise to everyone but they should understand it was not planned, and plan a very small UK wedding either asap (so you can still wear your dress), or for much further in the future (ditto). Personally Id do the asap option but then I wouldnt have any kids without being married in the first place so I appreciate we aren't on the same page with that anyway and you might just prefer to delay it a couple of years.

I would definitely terminate the pregnancy. You have a new job and that alone would make my decision easy. Your friends and family will not be able to claim on their insurance and will be upset that they are now stuck with a holiday not of their choosing.

To point out the obvious- why not speak to the guests, find out how many would lose and how much, whose insurance covers what, then make your decision on the wedding.

if everyone will lose the full amount, cross your fingers and hope you will be fit to fly.

if people can recoup some of the loss by cancelling or rearranging now, and would prefer to do so, then take that option.

but I do think you need to speak to your guests and find out what their choices are.

btw I would not want to spend k’s on a wedding with no wedding as pp suggest. I wouldn’t want to go just as a holiday for many reasons.

The job situation would be enough to prompt me to terminate, let alone everything else.

I'd go ahead, get another dress, hope for the best with the new job. Chances are you can get to Greece & back just fine.

Nothing in life is guaranteed and you can't depend on the fact you'll have another pregnancy at an ideal time in the future.

Insurance wouldn't cover this situation. Can't go cos my mate (whose not part of my travel party) got pregnant- any insurance company would laugh at that.

You want a 3rd child
You want to get married
You want to start a new job

You may not be entitled to enhanced maternity pay so do check out your employer rules, but you don't need to feel guilty about taking maternity leave. They can claim back most of the statutory pay and you could end up being there for may years with the mat leave as a short gap.

Check if you will be able to fly - obviously there could be complications later that may mean you couldn't, but assuming you were in good health can you fly back at 32 weeks? A 48 hour train and ferry ride with a 2 and 4 year old at 32 weeks does not sound relaxing to me, so I would be discounting that option.

I think I would be checking out my and everyone else's travel cancellation options. 20 families travelling is a lot. But it is also very early days. If I wasn't sure I wanted a 3rd child it would be a much easier decision.

My biggest concern will be the new job. It doesn't look good starting a job and needing maternity leave a few months later. However, that's the law and there is nothing your employer can do about it.

Regarding the wedding. You'll be pregnant with a tummy instead of having a lovely figure :). Nothing else should change except your wedding dress - can you contact the company and tell them the problem? You still have time to get another dress more fitting to your pregnancy.

Flights won't be a problem. As far as I know, women in their 7th month of pregnancy have no problems flying within Europe or from the UK to Europe. You'll just have to drink mocktails instead of cocktails.😀

I also think if you do cancel you need to do so quickly and that might mean telling people of your pregnancy before you are otherwise ready.

even if you are within the 32 weeks, sometimes pregnancies are not straightforward and there are medical reasons not to fly. No idea what I would do in your shoes but I wouldn't be happy if I had spent £££ on a destination wedding (which I think ars poor taste in any case as they just make it so much more expensive for people to attend) and if it's cancelled. I know it's probably not overly helpful, sorry. And congratulations on the pregnancy.

Can you cancel the wedding, use the money you saved to reimburse family and have a much smaller wedding once DC3 is here? I think if you expect people to absorb the cost of your non wedding, there will be outfall. I would want to avoid that.

Tough. 20 families will have wasted their money

Will be nice! You’ll have all three of your kids there at the wedding with you ❤️

Stop it now, rearranging the wedding is far too sensible....

Verbal diarrhoea going on here...

This really. I think you have to decide if you want the baby first. Ignore the wedding in that decision. I don't mean to bring you down but you could lose the baby before the wedding.

Then once you've decided you have to then decide what to do about the wedding. Either go ahead or cancel and reimburse your guests who have paid other wise that's really shitty.

Would you mind linking one of these widely available UK based CFAR policies please?

I looked into this before my last trip and was also told it wasn't available in the UK.

I personally don't think terminations are an answer for this type of situation.
I'm completely pro/choice but the says she wants a third DC.
The new job, doesn't matter, happens all the time, maternity leave is a tiny tiny portion of a working life.

Choose a 'dream' wedding/dress over a child? The money's gone. You could have woken up with extreme D&V on the wedding day and missed it anyway, or be in the local hospital because one of your DCs slipped and hit their head playing in the pool, or you have a row the night before with your fiancé and he's hungover on the day, a million things can mess up a 'dream' wedding. The food can be terrible. Or there's a power cut or bad weather. Or they can just not live up to expectations and feel a waste of money and effort.
You might spend the whole day feeling like shit that you terminated a child (I'm not judging or guilt tripping / but this is really likely how I would feel)
Nope.

If you can't or don't want to fly everyone else can still go on the trip (not your fiancé obviously!) and you can hopefully re/coop some of the cost.

I didn't say it was the first choice. But between guests being annoyed that the plans for a trip have changed or terminating a pregnancy so as not to inconvenience my guests I know which I would choose! She isn't debating if this is a good time to attempt a pregnancy but dealing with one that is already here.

Oh good. I'm glad about that as I thought i was just being incredibly stupid for a moment.
I do quite a few trips a year as I said and wondered how the hell i missed something that would have been so beneficial to me!