Ok sorry for the long post but I would like some opinions if that’s ok. Open to all feedback.
My Husband (m30) and I (f28) have been together for over ten years. We have two kids together that are on the spectrum (both diagnosed with autism and adhd). We both work full time but I take on the majority of the tasks. I deal with the kids routines, including a looooong nighttime routine, and most of the housework as well as my full time job.
Since getting my kids diagnosed I see a lot of similarities in myself and I think i also have autism which I think is linked to some sensory issues I have.
This year has been very difficult for me, I lost a very close relative that I haven’t been able to get over and my kids symptoms seem to be at their peak and very draining.
My husband’s sex drive also seems to be at its peak and he is constantly asking for sex. I am going through confirmed hormonal imbalance which is affecting my libido as well as the mental drain from grief, my kids being full on all of the time as well as the usual day to day grind. By the end of the day I’m overstimulated and just don’t want to be
touched.
Ive tried explaining this to him but he’s busy or dismissive and walks away. He’s now put a two month time limit on our relationship that if I don’t change then I’m “out the door”. I just feel like this is adding even more pressure on top of what is already going on.
I’ve tried sitting him down and explaining my cycle (when I’m more likely to be in the mood for sex etc.) and the fact that I just want space in the evenings, no touching because I’m overstimulated but mornings are good for intimacy etc. but again he’s dismissive of this.
AIBU, should I change or is there a different way I can communicate this? Every time I try to talk about this he becomes defensive, doesn’t listen to what I’m saying and walks away.