To be annoyed my mum shared my news behind my back

Missing the point spectacularly

If she blabs with no control about a flat she'll be broadcasting things like marriage and babies from the rooftops.

Good thing OP is you know now that you can't trust her and she really doesn't care what you think or want.

Completely agree with this.

It's not specifically a topic I'd be private about but I'd be devastated if my mum wasn't the one person I could always trust to confide in.

Both my DM and I are quite private and I was raised that it was really important to be able to trust those close with you not to repeat things you've told them in confidence.

I would not be friends with a "can't keep their mouths shut" kind of person and if I were to describe what a good friend is, someone who can keep things to themselves would be very high on my list.

I would be really hurt if my dm did this.

Some of the posts are interesting and we could be about to get to the bottom of why some people do this. @Soontobe60 is it because you can't keep a confidence or is it more around whether you agree it should be a confidence? Would you keep a pregnancy secret but not the thing about the offer on the flat, because you don't see why it would be confidential, even though the daughter asked for it to be kept confidential?

Did you miss the part where the OP's mum asked if she could tell her friends and the OP said, "No, I don't want you to tell anyone yet" and she went ahead and told her friends anyway?

If she can't be trusted to keep her mouth shut until her daughter is ready for the world to know, then no, she doesn't deserve to know.

Ah yes, please don't share the most exciting news a mum could hear about her daughter - make her wait because she doesn’t deserve to know.

My dm is similar to this. I know she doesn’t mean anything by it, she’s lovely & kind, but omg, she can’t keep anything to herself and doesn’t think ‘oh, xxxx might have wanted to tell people herself’

When my sister was pregnant, she told everyone, even siblings, rather than waiting for my sister to tell us. When my other sister got engaged, she told everyone before my sister had a chance to tell us. I love her to bits, but I don’t tell her things I don’t want broadcasting anymore, or I tell her last minute, when I’ve had a chance to tell other people at the same time😅

Blimey! What a drama you're making of this. Its a flat, not top prize on the lottery 😂
Why on earth would you want something like this kept a secret? You’ve had an offer accepted on a property, you tell your mum, she tells a friend, it really is no big deal. Now you're making her out to be snitch of the century. Your poor mum!

This is a very good point. It’s quite helpful of her really, at least you know in advance.

I think you're both being weird about this tbh. She's being weird to treat it as some big personal news that it "feels wrong"(???) to keep from her friends - surely her friends don't really care beyond a "that's nice, good for her" sort of response. Certainly no one normal would be offended that they hadn't heard this news immediately and instead heard it a few days later.
But I also think it's not something I'd view as news that needs to be kept secret until a set time. If it hadn't ended up being formally accepted, she could tell them that.

I don't get all the fuss.

But I guess she shouldn't have shared if you asked her not to.

Some people are just like this. You can't tell them anything without accepting it may be passed on. My mum is the same, it is incredibly annoying but I will never change her. Me and my siblings just have to tell her nothing until we are happy with it being shared.

This would be my mum. I learned from my mistakes.

Keep things like this secret from her in the future. When she finds out that others knew, of course she'll feel hurt and guilt trip you, but remind her that she can't be trusted. You tested her, she failed.

Tell her nothing going forward until you are happy for it to be blabbed about.

It's an awful trait in a person, particularly a mother.

Yes, is this a boomer thing? My mum has told me details about the traumatic birth experiences of her friends' children and their partners.

I'm like, "Mum, you shouldn't be telling me that your-university-friend-Sue's son Paul-who-I-haven't-seen-since-1990's wife Claire-who-I've-never-met had a failed attempt at forceps resulting in a huge perineal tear and then had to have a C-section anyway which meant that when she'd healed enough from her C-section she then had to have repeated surgeries to try and fix her anal sphincter. This is Claire's private medical information. I don't know Claire. You don't know Claire. You shouldn't be telling me this. Sue shouldn't have told you this. This is a complete invasion of Claire and Paul's privacy."

But all my mum's friends seem to over share in this way.

*She's giving you a taster of what she'll be like if you ever have kids.

If you do get pregnant, don't tell her until after the 12 week scan.*

Exactly what I came on to say.

This is why I don't tell my mother anything. She just can't be trusted. She's repeated back things to me, that I told her in confidence in the first place, as she'd forgotten where she heard it.
Her friends and family are all over involved in their family's business and no subject is off limits. So I tell her nothing important. She's aware of it but would still blab if I risked confiding anything interesting.

She's giving you a taster of what she'll be like if you ever have kids.

If you do get pregnant, don't tell her until after the 12 week scan.

I get that it's very irritating when you asked her to keep your news to herself, but you can stand well back from the fallout. Your mum may have to tell her friend to tell her daughter that you won't be neighbours - a bit embarrassing for her but not your problem!

The situation isn’t a big deal but what is is that she went against your wishes. Lesson learnt to stop sharing information that needs to be kept quiet unless you want it sharing wider.

My DM used to do this, but it got worse where she was sharing my private, medical information with other people. I asked her not to and she continued, so I stopped telling her personal things, and would only tell her important news, like your news about the property, when it was OK to be public knowledge.

I agree with PP. Tell mum you are glad you found out she can’t be trusted. You won’t be confiding anything with her in future.

That is so weird, why would she want to tell her friends so urgently? I mean, it's nice for you, but I can't understand why it is urgent news to share with friends.
But also- even if it WAS something more usual ti be excited about, eg pregnancy then her sharing it after you asked her not to is so rude and inappropriate. I'd say be glad it was something fairly innocuous and be very cautious about what you share with her in the future as she will do it again.

I’d see no need not to share but would respect your wishes, which are a little cautious.

She was out of order to share your news, however does she have form for this? Personally I don't tell anyone anything I don't want others to know - and that includes not telling my mum! I tell DH and my 2 DS, because I know they'll say nothing. But anyone else I don't share unless I'm ready for it to become common knowledge.