To have mega mum guilt

You don’t need to sign up to everything just because it’s all over social media.

elf on the shelf
matching pjs
Xmas Eve boxes

as long as your kids are happy and healthy you don’t need to go above and beyond with everything.

Thankfully DD was frightened of the Elf they had in school so I escaped it!
Just tell them don't like the Elf? He's a tattle tale.

Be grateful you don't have an elf - DH (who isn't British) took one offered on our village WhatsApp group, not realising that it was anything more than a creepy cute toy. DS was overjoyed that we had one, and couldn't wait for it to start misbehaving, so now we've been sucked into this nonsense for the next 5 years!

There's nothing like being tucked up in bed, drifting happily off to sleep, only to realise that you've forgotten to set up the fecking elf and have to haul yourself out of bed to Google ideas and set it up.

because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way

That’s exactly wrong. The elves only have to come if you are naughty.

Anyway, it’s all bullshit. If your kid doesn’t care, why do you?

Oooh goody, a thread naysaying the bloody elf.

Now thankfully mine were all too old for believing by the time the elf really took hold...but that hasn't stopped it really annoying me anyway.

As if there isn't enough pressure on parents at Christmas without feeling the obligation to join in with the elf as well.

The elf, Christmas Eve boxes and matching Christmas pyjamas can all get in the sea.

Don't do it! I succumbed when my now teenagers were about 8 years old. Since then I have had another child so have at least another 4 years of the Elf!! It's a pain trying to remember to do something "cheeky" and "funny" with it. Invariably I forget and end up moving it to another room for youngest child to "find" in the morning!!

I don't post on Facebook or Instagram with its antics though, they would be SO boring!!

Choosing to beat yourself up for not going along with a crude marketing ploy from a self- published book published in 2005, complete with elf doll, then popularised by parents competing to put their elf doll in complicated poses on sm, makes about as much sense as howling with rage and despair because your fiancé didn’t spend three months’ salary on your engagement ring (similarly successful marketing campaign by de Beers now thought to be ‘tradition’).

I reluctantly do elf on a shelf but sometimes I do have fun with it. My children are excited every single morning in December to see what he has done the night before.

I also do Christmas Eve boxes and matching pyjamas. I don't show off or brag about this on social media I do this for my children. They don't need it but I want to do it for them it's part of our traditions and the Christmas Eve boxes are small containing hot chocolate a mug and some craft activities for that morning.

I don't see how these traditions are any different from other traditions families have like going to a certain relatives home every year for Christmas or special Christmas Eve night story time traditions. I think people who are negative about this are the ones who don't have the time or energy to bother with it which is fair enough but we all do what we can for our children to make them happy so why be so hateful.

If it's all so a waste of money and silly then why tell your children about Santa? Why participate in buying presents for your children and why celebrate Christmas then?

Elf on the shelf is a little obnoxious prick and ive delegated him to dh for the last two years.

Also, I don’t find it a very nice looking toy if I’m honest. It’s not what I’d like an elf to look like.

Jellycat do quite a cute one ( Letty) though it’s even less convincing sadly.

A lot of people just do it to upload photos on social media, honestly. I've never done it and my children are fine.

The branded elf is £20, so not cheap, unless you’re out of touch how the average family has to budget in December, and nothing is simple at Christmastime when your other tasks include saving up for a buying gifts for the whole family, organising visitors, preparing house for visitors, decorating house and tree, wrapping presents, nativity plays, school events, work events, organising the food shop, cooking Christmas dinner, cleaning up, sorting what to do with the kids for 2 weeks off school while you juggle work and cooking and laundry and cleaning and homework the same time.

And the when the kids are finally asleep and you get done with your evening chores and you get to crash on the sofa or turn in for an early night … nope, every single night you have to remember to also sort out the elf.

It’s so simple.

No way will I ever be doing Elf on the shelf. What a moneymaking racket whoever came up with it is raking it in I’m sure. The concept annoys me anyway. I wouldn’t feel one bit guilty not doing it. Advent calendar is perfect.

I told my kids that the elf didn’t come to our house because they’d been good all year round! They are 15 and 17 now and think it’s hilarious and are not in the slightest bit bothered.

Don't be guilted into doing anything just because other people do.

Because Christmas has become an endless list of things to do, buy, sort and remember. Most of which falls to mothers. It’s so sad how many mothers dread Christmas now and feel stressed and under appreciated – Elf on a Shelf absolutely contributes to that.

Nothing wrong with a little chocolate each day in the run up to Christmas!
My DC always loved the fact that they could have it before breakfast!

Honestly, everything else is a waste of time & money! So glad DC were teens when all this madness started.

I don't feel guilty about elf on the shelf, 1st of December boxes, Christmas Eve boxes, or anything else that been invented by social media in recent years to try to guilt parents. Do em if you want but feeling you have to just proves the marketing works.

The only person i know who does it is a wanna-be Mummy Influencer - it's all for the views, not for the kids at all.

I don't know how she keeps it going for a whole month to be honest, i can only imagine the stress and rows with her DH as they get the ladder out for yet another hilarious set up.

OP, you're not being a bad parent if you don't do it.

My kid is 10 and we've never done elf on the shelf but just the other day he asked why we never do it and said he's jealous that all his friends have a naughty elf that does hilarious things all the time 🙄. He can continue to be jealous because I don't have time or energy for that shite.

Too much of that stuff in excess at the moment. December boxes, Christmas Eve boxes, elf on the shelf, Christmas pjs and bed covers. I'm not an eco warrior but it's just so wasteful and bad for the environment. Like you I've just bought my ds an advent calendar and today we'll decorate the tree.

This!

I agree with much of this. We don’t do the elf but, as I posted above, much of my reason for that is that I think it’s actually a step too far in “ giving the whole game away.”

Like this poster says, a bit of Christmas magic is one of the joys of childhood so it’s mean to give it away for others.

I just feel like if we had the elf, it would be all the more likely our Dc would see through it all because to me the elf is … well … a bit obvious. It looks remarkably fake, is sold en masse in shops and it doesn’t take much to work out how it gets moved moves about. I mean it’s bad enough trying to divert them from wondering how the reindeer fly, or how FC gets everywhere in one night. But at least they have a certain mysterious absence so their authenticity cannot be inspected at close quarters and result in a ( to children) otherwise inexplicable pile of gifts. I’m sure if we had a fleet of inanimate plastic reindeer on our lawn after the deed had been done it might not have washed!
BUT I guess different things go down differently in different families and telling the children is just mean.

Actually the elves only come if you have been naughty. Its the last chance to get on the nice list.

I never did it and DD did not care in the slightest.

We have never done it either. My kids have asked but it is a no. They know it is grown ups that move it anyway and I have enough on my plate without dealing with that nonsense every day!